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Some people have second or third jobs outside of "work." I had a friend once who had a second job wearing leather and smacking people around for $. Makes great for office conversation. Another friend is a professional guitarist on the side and does very well. They all have separate FB accounts under different names. Nobody knows.
As a said,anti social mainly used to describes a personality disorder.
You keep ignoring the second definition of the word. You know ... the one you put into bold ... that describes that feeling we all get sometimes when we're just not in the mood for other people when they're being problematic and obtuse.
I know these people mean well but I'm not interested in making friends at work. I'm just there to do my job and that's it. I'm not saying I act anti-social. I still talk to my co-workers about gerenal stuff, joke around, But, I don't like to talk about my love life and stuff of that nature. It annoys me so much that sometimes I resort to ignoring some of them when they asks. They're even couple of ladies from work who periodically ask me when I'm getting married?
Furthermore, I like to keep my personal life private and don't like to discuss it with colleagues or people I hardly know. Anyone else feels the same way?
That has always been my style. I'm pretty private. I can be friendly and professional at the same time.
In my experience of working the last 17 years, it's always a female coworker who wants to know about my dating life. Men never seemed to care even the ones I developed friendships with over the years.
I am usually more friendly and social with the people I sit near in the office versus people who I don't sit anywhere near. And I share info about family and friends activities but never dating.
To the person who sent me THIS in my reputation comments:
"Not true. FB made ppl's pages open to all other FB members a few years ago."
Please review FB's Privacy Basics and your Settings to learn how to restrict the entire world from seeing your personal page postings and other information if you don't want snoopy co-workers seeing everything.
Seems like FB wants people to snoop on you because the site doesn't allow you to use screen names.
I know these people mean well but I'm not interested in making friends at work. I'm just there to do my job and that's it. I'm not saying I act anti-social. I still talk to my co-workers about gerenal stuff, joke around, But, I don't like to talk about my love life and stuff of that nature. It annoys me so much that sometimes I resort to ignoring some of them when they asks. They're even couple of ladies from work who periodically ask me when I'm getting married?
Furthermore, I like to keep my personal life private and don't like to discuss it with colleagues or people I hardly know. Anyone else feels the same way?
How hard can it be to say, "I'd rather not discuss it" or change the subject? They'll get the message.
I know these people mean well but I'm not interested in making friends at work. I'm just there to do my job and that's it. I'm not saying I act anti-social. I still talk to my co-workers about gerenal stuff, joke around, But, I don't like to talk about my love life and stuff of that nature. It annoys me so much that sometimes I resort to ignoring some of them when they asks. They're even couple of ladies from work who periodically ask me when I'm getting married?
Furthermore, I like to keep my personal life private and don't like to discuss it with colleagues or people I hardly know. Anyone else feels the same way?
If this job is a part of your broader career aspirations, instead of "just a job", then I'd advise you to rethink your position on "I'm just there to do my job and that's it." Making connections with colleagues (and yes this includes becoming friends with some of them) is an ESSENTIAL component of future advancement and successes. The professional realm is heavily predicated on who you know and who's willing to put in a good word for you. Opening up a bit (even on some personal stuff within reason) and meeting others halfway will make that easier.
That said, someone bluntly asking you out of the blue "when I'm getting married?" is rude and uncalled for. However I'd suggest you respond to such questions in a friendly and polite tone in a direct way that discourages future follow-ups without causing awkwardness or resentment. There are different degrees of "personal", and most respectful people with decent social awareness know how to walk the line between "personal" and "too personal" just fine.
Just because the question is rude doesn't mean you have to be bothered by it. Try to grow thicker skin.
Also keep in mind that many work environments consist of people that span multiple cultures and backgrounds. In some cultures, it's the norm for people to be very open about family things, love/sex life and so on. In others, it's considered inappropriate.
Situations like the OP's are one reason why most good companies and hiring managers place a major importance on "fit". A good hiring manager with good intuition and solid people skills would sense during the interview(s) that a reserved/private candidate may not mesh well with the more chatty or nosy types that are the norm within the company, and that may lead to that candidate not being hired even if he or she's qualified w/ relevant experience and/or credentials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81
Have you told anyone that?
People generally like to share information with people they consider friends -- and many people make lasting friendships with co-workers. That's more then norm than people who show up, do their job, and leave, all without making personal connections.
You're not being persecuted. If you don't want to share personal details, just say so in as friendly a manner as you can muster. No need to be rude.
It's one thing to be curious about someone in a "getting to know you" kind of way...you can learn a lot about a person without getting too personal. That's fine...good even. If the OP has issues with that, then she may be too uptight.
It's another thing to be nosy. Nosy people tend to not respect the boundaries and space of another person. That's an issue. I do agree though that such people should be handled in a friendly manner...a lighthearted witty response often works well.
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