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Are you sure he's actually getting your emails, gifts, letters....it has been a long time. Are you certain he hasn't moved. You did say (2) years passed since y'all heard from him. You could be mailing these things to the wrong places. Emails get lost all the time. Maybe it's going to his spam. I get a lot of legit emails to my spam. If I didn't know any better, I wouldn't check it. I do understand your frustration because I got frustrated reading your post, but you have to ask yourself those questions. Good luck, I hope he's not being a jackass purposefully.
Maybe if he had been born a girl he would have been their sister.
Did you miss this part?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JasperJade
Let's see...
The only time you hear from him is when he chastises you or wants something from you.
He never asks how you're doing.
He doesn't have the decency to tell his kids to thank you for the gifts you send.
Why, exactly, do you want a relationship with this narcissist again? Because I wouldn't bother with him or his kids at this point.
I still haven't replied to him. I hate to admit this, but it's against my nature to turn the other cheek. My other sister hasn't replied either, unless she didn't "copy all".
Before he wrote the book, we used to get together (he and his kids and me and my kids) over Spring Break. My other sisters are much farther away, so we see them less often. This really sux for my kids because they LOVE their cousins.
I guess the best thing for the kids is for me to swallow my bitterness and send an email with glowing praise for the book (once again) and try to set up some time this summer for a visit.
I still haven't replied to him. I hate to admit this, but it's against my nature to turn the other cheek. My other sister hasn't replied either, unless she didn't "copy all".
Before he wrote the book, we used to get together (he and his kids and me and my kids) over Spring Break. My other sisters are much farther away, so we see them less often. This really sux for my kids because they LOVE their cousins.
I guess the best thing for the kids is for me to swallow my bitterness and send an email with glowing praise for the book (once again) and try to set up some time this summer for a visit.
How old are your kids? Old enough to have phones and email? Old enough to have Facebook? If so, let them communicate with each other.
I would not, under any circumstances, cater to his immense ego and give him even the faintest bit of further praise. All you'd be doing is teaching him that he can be a jackass to you and get away with it. In fact, I would say, "I already did review your book, several years ago. If that's not enough for you, I don't know what to tell you." If you MUST try to get all the kids together, I'd then say, "BTW, the kids are asking if they can see each other this summer. Here are the dates we're available. If you're interested, let me know. If I don't hear from you by this time next week, I will assume you are not interested or available and make other plans for our break."
Then stick with it. Your brother has a boundary problem indicative of narcissism. The only way to deal with those people is lay down the law, and if they don't comply, they're out. Unfortunate for your kids, but when they grow up, if they want to be close and pal around together, they will.
I still haven't replied to him. I hate to admit this, but it's against my nature to turn the other cheek. My other sister hasn't replied either, unless she didn't "copy all".
Before he wrote the book, we used to get together (he and his kids and me and my kids) over Spring Break. My other sisters are much farther away, so we see them less often. This really sux for my kids because they LOVE their cousins.
I guess the best thing for the kids is for me to swallow my bitterness and send an email with glowing praise for the book (once again) and try to set up some time this summer for a visit.
Turning the other cheek only makes sense if you think it's going to bring about the possibility of change...And if you're ok with the chance that it won't.
The definition of insanity is the taxonomy of forgiveness: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. It's not always easy to tell where wisdom lies: change what you can, accept what you can't, learn to know the difference. Isn't that the essence of the Serenity Prayer?
Maybe your brother simply has a problem telling you what he thinks. For example, instead of telling you he doesn't want gift exchanges, he simply stops giving, hoping you'll take the hint.
I always hated receiving chain emails. They irritated me and I treated them as spam. Perhaps he feels the same way about those joke emails.
You have no idea why your brother doesn't communicate with you. Until you have an understanding of why, I don't see an improvement in your relationship. Talk to him. Find common ground, things you both enjoy spending time talking about.
Dear Bubba,
It was sooooo good to hear from you. Bought your book, loved it, did you see the review I sent you?
We all keep in touch and wish you'd update us on your life cause we luv u.
Sissy
Nice except that if you love someone, you could put in a little more effort with a "you" instead of a "u".
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