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My uncle moved 2000 miles away a lifetime ago. He used to visit, every few years, and brought his kids when they and I were kids. We're all old now. I am the only one from here that had been to my uncles house. Had almost no interaction with the cousins when I was there. There is no family left here of my uncle's generation. I found the obit for my aunt & uncle a few years ago. No notice was sent back here. I don't think they have any interest in us. I have almost no contact information for them. County records show my male cousin as the owner of my uncles house and the house phone number may still work. They are more collage/ professional and we are more grey collar/ industrial. I don't know what I would say to these people. Here's the thing. We're retired and we're doing some travel each year. It's a popular travel destination and we're gonna be out there again. I wonder if I should look them up. Seems like it would be awkward.
Our family has some distant ones. I don't even know any info about them. As my parents did not say any. Why not give a call and see if they at least alive.
My older relatives seem to communicate with each other a lot on Facebook. You might try seeing if they're on FB and reconnecting there.
If you do call or write, you should mention that you'll be visiting their area and wondered if you could take them out for dinner or meet them for drinks or something specific and limited like that. Otherwise they'll be wondering if you're trying to reconnect so you can stay with them when you visit. People who live in popular vacation destinations are always fending off requests like that.
I don't see why it should be awkward. Just make it clear that you're coming for the tourist attraction anyway and not to see them specifically (so as not to pressure them) and also that you don't expect them to put you up or anything, but would like to treat them to dinner. Or if not treat, at least meet them for a meal or drink. Should be fun!
My deceased Mom's great nephew lives in Germany (Mom was an immigrant) and he and his mother -- my cousin -- visited my parents a couple of times in the 90's. But I lived far away raising my own family and never met them.
When I was a kid, Mom would go back to see her large family in Germany on occasional summers while I was at camp. Mom never took me along or even really talked about her family back in Germany. She was a very strange person and had bad memories of her own childhood. She did not seem to want her own kids to be connected to her past. I knew I had many German cousins because my mother was one of 11 children. But this one son of Mom's neice has been interested in connecting. He completed his graduate studies in Australia and speaks fluent English. Last year he asked to friend me on FB.
So, when he noticed by my FB posts that I was in Cologne, Germany a couple of weeks ago he FB messaged me and asked to meet for a beer. He said he was only about 20 min from where I was. We met and he brought along his Mom (my first cousin) and it was so good to meet them. He told me about other family we share living in Europe. I was really, really happy to meet them and so pleased he reached out.
Look them up! My family has a reunion every 2 years. My first cousins never go. My sister and I go. Pretty much everyone there is so distant, I don't even know how we are related (we share a great-great-great (or more) grandparent.
It is a blast. And I have even seen some of the cousins outside of the reunion. I hit it off with a few my age and we met up last fall when I visited their city.
Some other distant cousins I recently met had hilarious stories about my dad as a kid (they were distant cousins for him too). My dad just found some distant cousins live about 60 miles away and they are working on meeting up and trading family trees.
My uncle moved 2000 miles away a lifetime ago. He used to visit, every few years, and brought his kids when they and I were kids. We're all old now. I am the only one from here that had been to my uncles house. Had almost no interaction with the cousins when I was there. There is no family left here of my uncle's generation. I found the obit for my aunt & uncle a few years ago. No notice was sent back here. I don't think they have any interest in us. I have almost no contact information for them. County records show my male cousin as the owner of my uncles house and the house phone number may still work. They are more collage/ professional and we are more grey collar/ industrial. I don't know what I would say to these people. Here's the thing. We're retired and we're doing some travel each year. It's a popular travel destination and we're gonna be out there again. I wonder if I should look them up. Seems like it would be awkward.
How do you know unless you try? You seem to have the phone number, your cousin still lives in the house.
You call and you tell them you will be in the area(make it clear you're not looking to stay with them) and would like to drop by or take them out to dinner. They either will be receptive or not.
I live in CA and went back east in 2014 and saw a cousin I hadn't seen in 25 years, we had a blast. Was completely comfortable within a few minutes.
Who cares what you do or they do for a living? You can only talk to people who have the same type of jobs as you? Come on, you're putting up walls that aren't there.
Pick up the phone.
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