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Old 04-26-2016, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 24,989,853 times
Reputation: 51106

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheKiwi View Post
Checked online. I will try going to city hall!
I bet that most of the desk clerks at your city hall are female. If they do not find the name of the new owner right away and you share with them why you are looking for the name I bet that they will try extra hard to find it, possibly even checking with other departments at city hall to help you get more public record information about family.
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Old 04-26-2016, 08:42 AM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,622,103 times
Reputation: 26860
OP, thanks for posting the additional information. IMO, the situation calls for caution and awareness. But try not to let yourself freak out about it.
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Old 04-26-2016, 09:48 AM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,568 posts, read 18,042,851 times
Reputation: 16702
OP, I haven't changed my position on you having the one neighbor (psychologist) approach the family - actually, I'm more strongly believing that is one of two first steps you should take. The other is to go to the police dept and ask to speak with a detective. Give this information as a "should I be concerned?" My father-in-law was chief of detectives in our town and he had several times mentioned how situations that put someone in danger might have been prevented or mitigated if only the person had approached the PD before it became a big issue.

Please don't wait until whatever. It might be harmless infatuation. It might not be. It's irrelevant what it is because it is how you feel. When I volunteered with a rape crisis center, the first things we were taught was to "trust your gut". If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Don't wait until you know for sure, act first to protect yourself.

I don't think there's any need for you to research who owns the property next door or whether they are renters or owners. That's irrelevant info TO YOU if you just present the information you have to the PD. No, it isn't enough and what you know is based on hearsay, but it won't be hearsay when the police investigate - and I've no doubt in my mind that they will.
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Old 04-26-2016, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,626,227 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
I don't think there's any need for you to research who owns the property next door or whether they are renters or owners. That's irrelevant info TO YOU ...
I agree with this ^^^^.

But I disagree with this in bold:

Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
if you just present the information you have to the PD. No, it isn't enough and what you know is based on hearsay, but it won't be hearsay when the police investigate - and I've no doubt in my mind that they will.
What, exactly, would they investigate?

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Old 04-26-2016, 10:04 AM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,880,939 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
OP, I haven't changed my position on you having the one neighbor (psychologist) approach the family - actually, I'm more strongly believing that is one of two first steps you should take. The other is to go to the police dept and ask to speak with a detective. Give this information as a "should I be concerned?" My father-in-law was chief of detectives in our town and he had several times mentioned how situations that put someone in danger might have been prevented or mitigated if only the person had approached the PD before it became a big issue.

Please don't wait until whatever. It might be harmless infatuation. It might not be. It's irrelevant what it is because it is how you feel. When I volunteered with a rape crisis center, the first things we were taught was to "trust your gut". If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Don't wait until you know for sure, act first to protect yourself.

I don't think there's any need for you to research who owns the property next door or whether they are renters or owners. That's irrelevant info TO YOU if you just present the information you have to the PD. No, it isn't enough and what you know is based on hearsay, but it won't be hearsay when the police investigate - and I've no doubt in my mind that they will.
No harm in approaching the police. Just don't be surprised if the police (especially if it is a bigger and busier department) tell you there is nothing they can do about it because no laws are being broken.

Last edited by Just A Guy; 04-26-2016 at 10:56 AM..
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Old 04-26-2016, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Aloverton
6,560 posts, read 14,406,362 times
Reputation: 10164
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheKiwi View Post
I am living in Atlanta, GA. I live in a condo building with a shared gated yard. Some new neighbors just moved to the house next door, and their adult son is living in the carriage house out back. One of my neighbors alerted me that the son has been asking people in my building about me. He knows my dog's name, he knows what time I leave for work in the morning, what time I get home, he described an outfit I was wearing, and he noted that I was "out of town last weekend" (I was). He's been told to leave our gated courtyard by at least one of my neighbors in my building, telling him it was private property and he needed to leave (the courtyard isn't locked). They said it seems like his social "norms" are warped and he must have some mental disability/disorder of some sort.
You mention that he's an adult, yet a bunch of people want you to talk to his parents as if he's a child not responsible for his actions. The same parents, it seems, who--if he has the social skills of a backward child--are currently not doing enough to keep a resident of their property from creeping out a resident of a nearby property. I think they're already showing that they will not police this adult, fully-responsible-for-his-actions resident of their property. I would be completely callous as to whatever syndromes, disorders, or spectrums he might or might not have. Cry me a river. Precious snowflake's syndromes are not as important as your right to feel secure from creeps in your home. Precious snowflake, as the person who is causing the problem, gets no consideration. Parents, who allow this behavior of an adult resident (thus a peer) of their home, get none either.

First, I'd start keeping records. Everything: rumors, sightings if any, whatever would document your stalking. I'd assume that the parents were going to continue just hoping no one complained, would whine to you for empathy because he's such a pain, and would show zero empathy for your whole life's sense of comfort being compromised. I'd find out what form of self-defense I could legally carry, and was comfortable handling, and I'd make sure I knew how to use it. Might put security cameras on your courtyard. I'm not sure restraining orders do much, but if it rises to the level where you can get one, I'd get one. In the meantime, our lovable system doesn't allow for pre-emptive strikes, so unless you want to move (that's how our lovable system works: if someone else is an a-hole, the system will not make that person go away; it requires YOU to go to the effort and expense and headache), you get to keep enduring this until you get enough on him to see if the law will give a damn.

Good luck. Hope precious snowflake finds an inanimate interest and gets so bored with you he never bothers you again, never even looks at you.
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Old 04-26-2016, 11:29 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,072 posts, read 107,051,957 times
Reputation: 115868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
No harm in approaching the police. Just don't be surprised if the police (especially if it is a bigger and busier department) tell you there is nothing they can do about it because no laws are being broken.
Police departments have stalker protocols now. If a complaint is presented, they have to make a record of it, and advise the complainant. The OP's case is a little different from more typical complaints because she's never seen her stalker, but others have. One of the residents is prepared to back her up in going to the parents or wherever she chooses to go to address the matter, so that is not "hearsay". At least she'll have a witness testify that there is, indeed, a problem of sorts.
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Old 04-26-2016, 01:23 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,568 posts, read 18,042,851 times
Reputation: 16702
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
I agree with this ^^^^.

But I disagree with this in bold:



What, exactly, would they investigate?


They would gather information as to whether she is, indeed, being stalked or if there is a reasonable explanation for what is being reported to her by other tenants. So, to do just that, they have to go to the source of her information. Most likely, a detective would first talk with the neighbors to see if there is a reason to speak with the young man.

It isn't some big mysterious process, it's just talking "officially" and gathering information/facts. That's an "investigation".
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Old 04-26-2016, 01:57 PM
 
26,646 posts, read 13,611,435 times
Reputation: 19104
The guy has been warned to not trespass on private property several times by different neighbors. Calling the police the next time he does it seems like a reasonable option. I bet your neighbors who were concerned would be up for this.
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Old 04-26-2016, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,626,227 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
They would gather information as to whether she is, indeed, being stalked or if there is a reasonable explanation for what is being reported to her by other tenants. So, to do just that, they have to go to the source of her information. Most likely, a detective would first talk with the neighbors to see if there is a reason to speak with the young man.

It isn't some big mysterious process, it's just talking "officially" and gathering information/facts. That's an "investigation".
Annie, do you really think the police "investigate" every time someone comes in and tells them something their neighbor told them about some questions a guy asked?

Nothing illegal has happened, from what the OP has written, and if being weird or creepy were illegal, half of us would be incarcerated.
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