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And, possibly your parents never talking to you again.
Your grandparents never talking to you again.
Your cousins never talking to you again.
Your neighbors never talking to you again.
Your minister never talking to you again.
Even a 10 or 12 year old child understands that you need to support your family.
Now, if there is a real reason, perhaps the future bride sexually assaulted you or shot you or cut off your hand, then [u]maybe [u] it would be OK to skip the wedding because you are still in the hospital. Other than a reason like that, you are a selfish, self-centered egotistical jerk if you skip the wedding.
Sheesh! Are you even old enough to be on the computer without an adult?
yes he should go but if he doesn't and these people NEVER talk to him again bc of it they're beyond immature.
1) There is 1 main reason why I don't want to go. If I go I know my family will have some fuss about me not being married yet. I don't really get the point of marriage. They want me married just like my brother. Plus they want my wife to be from a specific culture/ethnic background. I don't get it.
2) The one thing that's making me think twice about missing this wedding is my future nieces/nephews. I'm a HUGE fan of kids. They make me laugh, HARD. And from reading the comments it sounds like I could be shut out from their lives?
1) Do a search on establishing healthy boundaries with your family of origin. You can marry or not, or marry whatever culture etc you want, it is reasonable to resent persistent interference in these things. But, if you learn about healthy boundaries you can accept the love people are expressing by worrying about you and your future wife, and still learn very kind and polite ways to tell them you are not having "that conversation" again. Next subject please. It will be awkward at first but will be second nature very quickly. For you as well as your family - they will learn to knock it off.
2) Go to the wedding and offer to entertain the kids. Herd them around for plates of food, bathroom runs, take a ball to toss around outside after - whatever. Make a kid herding and entertaining plan. You get credit for going, you spend time mostly just with all the kids and avoid the uncomfortable intrusions you hate, and every mother will LOVE you for letting her have a few hours off and allowing her to enjoy the wedding with the other adults.
I'm a male and I don't really understand marriage/weddings. Frankly, I don't understand why people get married.
I don't want to deal with the fuss. Family members are supporting the wedding but it seems like it's making them a little too chaotic and I want to avoid this. I'm cool with my brother but it's not like we hang out. So I'm thinking about avoiding the wedding. I support their marriage and I'm fine being there for them after the wedding.
I first read this post I then looked to see if it was a brand new member but I see that it's not. You don't get to pull this "I don't wanna deal with the fuss" card until you're about 70 or so, so suck it up buttercup and get your butt to the wedding.
I'm a male and I don't really understand marriage/weddings. Frankly, I don't understand why people get married.
I don't want to deal with the fuss. Family members are supporting the wedding but it seems like it's making them a little too chaotic and I want to avoid this. I'm cool with my brother but it's not like we hang out. So I'm thinking about avoiding the wedding. I support their marriage and I'm fine being there for them after the wedding.
I was shouted down, it was "none of my business." LOL. Stupid is as stupid does, I figured, and went anyway to honor my friend and his daughter. Glad I did, actually.
So if the ship hasn't sailed, yes OP go to the wedding as a guest. You'll be a pariah if you don't.
I'd sooner smoke one of Fidel Castro's used cigar stubs than "get married," it's one of the dumbest things a man can do in life alongside the twice as disastrous "having children." By the numbers, odds of me ever getting married at this age now seem to be quite low. Thank God.
You might as well know now that someone will say something at the wedding that will annoy, offend, or anger you. This is the way of family, but it's not a legitimate reason to avoid such a big occasion for your brother. Other than being on your deathbed, there really is no excuse for missing a wedding involving immediate family.
Sorry he doesn't need an excuse and in my experience family is more trouble than they're worth, if they get upset at him over for not doing something that he dislikes I say cut them off.
It's family you really should go. Especially with it being immediate family. Think of it this way...all of the bridesmaids, flower girls, groomsmen, ring bearers are having to buy specific outfits that the bride and groom pick out and spend their time helping with many aspects of the wedding and most usually aren't even related. As the brother of the groom all you really need to do is dress in something nice you already have and go, if you aren't a groomsman. Think of it as a free party with free food, music, and a way to see your family.
I'm a male and I don't really understand marriage/weddings. Frankly, I don't understand why people get married.
I don't want to deal with the fuss. Family members are supporting the wedding but it seems like it's making them a little too chaotic and I want to avoid this. I'm cool with my brother but it's not like we hang out. So I'm thinking about avoiding the wedding. I support their marriage and I'm fine being there for them after the wedding.
Don't go. You're an adult. You get to decide where you want to be at all times. I agree that it could be hurtful to your brother if you guys have that kind of close relationship, but if you don't go he'll have no choice but to accept it. I have gone to several weddings of close friends and family that, in hindsight, I could have skipped. Never mind those who have gotten married only to get divorced within months or several years. What a waste of time and energy for all involved.
Who cares what the rest of the family thinks? This is about you. Let them sit around and gossip. They're choosing to focus on you instead of focusing on the wedding. That is not your issue.
Sorry he doesn't need an excuse and in my experience family is more trouble than they're worth, if they get upset at him over for not doing something that he dislikes I say cut them off.
Asking questions about why he's not married, etc. is not a good enough reason to cut off his family. Sorry, people have been putting up with stuff like this forever. Mature adults do all kinds of things they don't particularly want to because it's the right thing to do. This wedding isn't about him. He has no good reason not to go, and would be fully deserving of the wrath he's likely to catch if he doesn't go. Not going, simply put, makes him a selfish jerk.
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