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I am not going to tell you what to do. Since you're not in the wedding, I imagine you have good reason not to go.
Of all the things in my life I wish I had not done, number one is going to my brother's wedding. Not going to go into the reason why other than to remind posters that not everyone is part of a happy family. I support your doing what's right for you, OP. Wish I had done the same.
OP - Whether you "understand" why people marry or not matters not at all. He's your brother. He's reaching a big milestone in his life and he wants you to be there. If you don't go, don't be surprised if one day you have to start another thread about why you're brother isn't there for you when you want him to be.
Is the "fuss" of his wedding really worth damaging your relationship?
No, not if you don't go when he wants you there. You don't support him at all then.
His wedding day isn't about you or your beliefs about marriage. He and his spouse-to-be obviously thinks the wedding is an important day in their life. You support them and their marriage by honoring what they find important.
I'm a male and I don't really understand marriage/weddings. Frankly, I don't understand why people get married.
I don't want to deal with the fuss. Family members are supporting the wedding but it seems like it's making them a little too chaotic and I want to avoid this. I'm cool with my brother but it's not like we hang out. So I'm thinking about avoiding the wedding. I support their marriage and I'm fine being there for them after the wedding.
I'm a male and I don't really understand marriage/weddings. Frankly, I don't understand why people get married.
I don't want to deal with the fuss. Family members are supporting the wedding but it seems like it's making them a little too chaotic and I want to avoid this. I'm cool with my brother but it's not like we hang out. So I'm thinking about avoiding the wedding. I support their marriage and I'm fine being there for them after the wedding.
I wouldn't just not show up, but I'd let them know ahead of time that I'm not going to make it. I have missed weddings and no one's held it against me (if they've talked behind my back, i'm unaware of it). I don't regret not going.
I wouldn't just not show up, but I'd let them know ahead of time that I'm not going to make it. I have missed weddings and no one's held it against me (if they've talked behind my back, i'm unaware of it). I don't regret not going.
Have you skipped a sibling's wedding?
Weddings are often stressful for the families involved. If I skipped my brothers' weddings, not only would my siblings have been hurt, but so would my parents. And the focus would have been redirected from the couple onto me, because, I assure you relatives and friends will talk.
The good thing is the stress usually dissipates as soon as the vows are exchanged, and the rest of it, if you allow it to be so, is just a party.
Go to the wedding! His wedding day is the most important day of his life.
Don't turn the focus of his wedding on you. His wedding day is about him, not you. You may not understand marriage or want to get married, so DON'T. But he IS getting married. It's a big deal. Be there for him.
If you love someone you should want to celebrate the major milestones of their lives with them. This is not difficult to understand. You really need help if you can't understand this. Please go see a therapist.
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