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In most situations, another person is definitely security. A rapist/killer/burglar looking to break into an inhabited home is going to pick the house that has only one person in it, especially if it's a woman, over the house with two people in it nearly every time if they have a choice.
I've never had anything bad happen crime related to me , but I'm another one in the camp of watched too many horror movies and crime dramas so I prefer not to sleep alone and I have more trouble falling asleep if alone. I will say that now having two big loud dogs in the house with me helps my piece of mind and ability to fall asleep tremendously if hubby is gone.
In some situations not most.
You say it is because of movies but you still let it affect you? You know the cause. You know movies aren't real. You still let it affect your life. Ok.
I'm not like this and don't think I know any women who are.
Same here. I am a woman who lives alone and I know others like me. I don't worry about anyone breaking in or about being murdered. I don't even think about that stuff with regard to myself, yet pretty much the only TV I watch are the true crime shows lol.
I know a few girls at least that won't sleep alone in a building/apartment if they can avoid it. My Fiance will call her friend to come stay the night if her roommate and I are both out of town. If her roommate is out of town, either I sleep at her place or she stays with me. A colleagues wife is very similar. It seems so strange to me. How common is this? Is this one of those more common things that not growing up with sisters, I never picked up on?
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Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl
Sounds to me like the women you refer to are either immature or are trying to play helpless to appear more attractive to men who like the he-man role.
Yeah, I kind of agree with Jukesgrrl. Are these girls really young? Like just out of college? Other than my mother (who is scared to even walk into an empty house--even her own empty house! Much less actually sleep alone in the house...) but other than her, no, I don't know any women who won't sleep in their home if they are alone. My husband (and many, many of my friends' husbands) travel regularly for work, and if I was irrationally afraid to be home alone while he was gone, it would majorly handicap our family. I try to make his time away on business as low-stress as possible--he doesn't need to worry about things at home that he can't do anything about anyway. He and I both sleep better when he's home, but, you know, the show must go on. And addressing the "helpless" part of Jukesgrrl's comments: my husband has told me how much he respects and appreciates that I hold down the fort while he's gone. I would hate to lose that respect by playing damsel-in-distress.
I will add, however, the one time I felt so uncomfortable being home alone that I asked someone to spend the night with me, was when DH went out of the country three days after we moved into a new house. I didn't feel like i knew the house well enough to relax and actually sleep, so my sister spent the first couple of nights with me.
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Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl
Well, I guess once you've announced on Facebook that you're a scared woman home alone, you may as well have rolled out the red carpet for criminals. How could anyone be so dumb! Most normal people practice home safety.
I have a co-worker who is like this. We both work overnight and are the only two in the building but work in different departments. Whenever there’s downtime, she always calls or comes around because she’s afraid of being alone. And yes, she does watch a lot of scary movies.
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Originally Posted by LowonLuck
It has nothing to do with independence for me. I am extremely independent typically. I just am terrified of being killed in my sleep.
Not to sound creepy or anything but wouldn't that be one of the most painless ways of dying?
I think the girls the OP knows must be really young, like fresh out of college, and come from families with helicopter parents and perhaps grew up in upper crust, gated communities. Statistically more women in America are actually single (unmarried, widowed, or divorced) than not, so this is the new normal. I really feel sorry for women that were raised that way, to believe the world outside their house is a big, bad, scary place and they are walking rape/mugging/murder victims waiting to happen.
When I moved into my house a year ago I laughed because the former owners seemed to be totally paranoid about their safety. There is still an ADT setup...which I don't use but they won't take out...a security camera in one corner of my living room, every window has a lock on the inside so they won't open and it takes FOUR keys to unlock the two front doors into my house. Also four keys to unlock both back doors! And the doors are all heavy duty metal screens and solid steel doors. I really don't worry about my safety at all. I've never seen a house with so many locks! Strange because I actually live in a very safe neighborhood. Oh yeah, and also three really BRIGHT motion activated lights outside. So far the only things that have set them off are neighbors cats or dogs. lol
I too watch too many true crime shows on TV and it creeps me out when it's "the little ol' lady next door" who gets attacked/killed, beings as I'm a "little ol' lady" myself. Especially if it's the 'trusted handyman' who did it!! I am VERY careful who I have around my house doing handyman jobs and such too. Only people who come HIGHLY recommended and considered trustworthy.
Maybe they had something worth keeping locked up...legal or illegal. I knew of a house that had an illegal grow-op in it that had security you couldn't imagine. Or maybe he was in a cash business like the restaurant or bar or jewelry business.
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Originally Posted by ohhwanderlust
I get nervous. Twice I've had someone trying to open the door in case I was dumb enough to leave it unlocked (which I didn't, thankfully), once I caught a prowler outside my bedroom window late at night, and once someone was literally trying to kick the door to enter. This from living in rougher parts of Oakland and San Francisco, but one of these incidents was in an allegedly 'safer' area. I've always lived with roommates until moving in with my husband, so I've honestly never actually lived alone. Additionally, I did have a legitimate stalker not too long ago (one who threatened violence even), and legal measures were necessary to stop it. The fear from that several year long ordeal never completely went away.
So yeah, I do get nervous being home overnight alone, especially for more than a day. I usually keep the lights on all night to make it obvious someone is home, and keep the TV on so I'm less jumpy at strange noises. And I don't sleep very well.
I know, I know...I'm a wimp and need to man up. But easier said than done.
Given your life experiences, your caution seems completely rational to me.
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Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee
Yeah, I kind of agree with Jukesgrrl. Are these girls really young? Like just out of college?
With one exception who is in her 30's, most of them are 25 or so.
With one exception who is in her 30's, most of them are 25 or so.
Well then hopefully they'll out grow this. I hate to think these young women are going to live their entire adult lives in perpetual fear. Although, like I said, my mother does. However, it would be a huge hinderance to my husband and children if I was like my mother.
My wife doesn't/didn't have this issue. I think partly because she is an introvert and cherishes alone time that allows her to "recharge" from regular social interaction. It also doesn't hurt that at one point in life, she used to be into competitive martial arts - so her confidence level, should anything go down, in protecting herself is very high.
When we had a kid, we had an alarm system installed because I was traveling a lot for business and I think she felt more comfortable having a warning that would allow her to prepare (hide kid, etc) should she need to confront an intruder. That being said, a decade plus later, none of that has never been an issue.
Both of my sisters lived in apartments without roommates and traveled solo with no issues as well.
I'm the opposite. "I told you I love you, now get out." Really. I can't stand sleeping in the same room with someone, never mind the same bed. Just a light sleeper.
I don't know many women like those you describe. If I did, I'd gently suggest they need some counseling, because it sounds like a phobia to me.
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Much less actually sleep alone in the house...) but other than her, no, I don't know any women who won't sleep in their home if they are alone. My husband (and many, many of my friends' husbands) travel regularly for work, and if I was irrationally afraid to be home alone while he was gone, it would majorly handicap our family. I try to make his time away on business as low-stress as possible--he doesn't need to worry about things at home that he can't do anything about anyway. He and I both sleep better when he's home, but, you know, the show must go on. And addressing the "helpless" part of Jukesgrrl's comments: my husband has told me how much he respects and appreciates that I hold down the fort while he's gone. I would hate to lose that respect by playing damsel-in-distress. 
