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I don't get it. Even a teenager knows that locking the door is the solution. You can either buy a skeleton key at the hardware store that will open almost any lock, if it's the old-fashioned type of keyhole lock, or you can switch out the doorknob and get one with a lock. How is it possible that this has dragged on for so many years without the obvious solution? You know that talking to her, even making demands, makes no difference. So why keep repeating the same behaviors, knowing they're ineffective? This is what your counselors have been puzzled about, in the past.
I don't get it. Even a teenager knows that locking the door is the solution. You can either buy a skeleton key at the hardware store that will open almost any lock, if it's the old-fashioned type of keyhole lock, or you can switch out the doorknob and get one with a lock. How is it possible that this has dragged on for so many years without the obvious solution?
A few years ago I put in a front door lock. She called a locksmith when I was away.
A few years ago I put in a front door lock. She called a locksmith when I was away.
I would put in locks again. In fact, I would recommend putting a lock on your bedroom door, your closet door and your daughter's bedroom door. Please do this before you take your much needed vacation.
If you are worried that she will call a locksmith again, since this is your home and NOT your mother's house, I would contact the locksmiths in advance (assuming that you live in a small town with only a few locksmiths) and tell them that they are not allowed inside your house to change your locks if some else calls them.
A few years ago I put in a front door lock. She called a locksmith when I was away.
What? Did I really read that correctly? She has this much disrespect for you and your home and you haven't done anything about the situation this whole time?
I would put in locks again. In fact, I would recommend putting a lock on your bedroom door, your closet door and your daughter's bedroom door. Please do this before you take your much needed vacation.
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She does it when I'm at work. They sit there until I get home.
She doesn't need to take care of me. I'm not an invalid or dysfunctional.
You misunderstand. I said, your Mom needs to take care of you. You need to let her. Nothing about you needing to be cared for or you being incapacitated.
After all the additional information, I stand by my statement that there is more to this than laundry. I hope you can work it out.
Put the house on the market and go buy yourself a nice 1 bedroom condo. Let her make her own retirement plans.
You will be her prisoner unless you take some action and realize you owe her nothing except to ensure she is safe and cared for somewhere.
I was going to suggest he talk to the Social Sec. admin about getting her an apartment, but then I thought they might not get involved if it's clear she has a son to look after her. I don't know how that works.
OP, is she collecting your dad's SS? Does she have any retirement savings? What's her financial picture? There's subsidized senior housing, you know. You could get her a 1-br. cheap (unless you live in a hugely high COL area) if you get her name on a waiting list ASAP. It seems that she's able to are for herself, at least. She can clean, obviously, and probably cook for herself.
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This is what your counselors have been puzzled about, in the past.
