Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-06-2016, 09:24 PM
 
Location: East TN
144 posts, read 114,821 times
Reputation: 262

Advertisements

Why?

She left when I was a child. Never really called me that much, unless she needed something. About 2 years ago, she attempted to contact me thru (that social media site that everyone knows about, but we are not allowed to talk about here) I hesitantly started communicating with her. Last year around this time she sent me a communication, calling me names. Names that represent the south end of a farm animal. Along with many more. I asked her why, she said it was because I did not wish here a Happy Mothers Day as well as a Happy Birthday. I attempted to convince her that I am not accustomed to remembering nor celebrating Mothers Day. That was also the first time I found out when her birthday was.

Should I call?

If you are wondering, 33M, she is 60-ish (don't really know)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-06-2016, 10:19 PM
 
7,743 posts, read 15,839,592 times
Reputation: 10451
Why would you attempt to convince her? She knows, she just doesn't care.

She has unrealistic expectations and sounds foul if she's getting mad about the fact that you didn't meet it.

OP, you need to start developing healthy boundaries. [In response to the original question, you should not. Mother's Day is about the appreciation and acknowledgments of their sacrifices and efforts. From what you've said, she's not a mother in that regard. ]

Last edited by Inkpoe; 05-06-2016 at 10:42 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2016, 10:24 PM
 
2,813 posts, read 2,106,587 times
Reputation: 6129
No you should not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2016, 11:18 PM
 
2,449 posts, read 2,589,068 times
Reputation: 5702
A mother who leaves her child doesn't deserve recognition.


Go stop by a senior center or nursing home and give hugs to loads of appreciating seniors who would love the company. You'd get lots of free smiles in return.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-06-2016, 11:19 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,927,258 times
Reputation: 26919
I wouldn't. She is being incredibly disrespectful. She wasn't there for you when you needed her, she set the tone for this relationship - that you would only keep in touch in the loosest way. If she wanted you to acknowledge her special days she should have acted like a parent.

She hasn't earned your attention. And she hurts you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2016, 12:45 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,290 posts, read 3,999,998 times
Reputation: 4313
If my mother left me when I was a kid then I think that is it... I would not convince either call. Regarding mother's day I would tell her " since I did not have a mother I don't have no clue about mothers day ta ta byee"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2016, 10:44 AM
 
5,401 posts, read 6,499,468 times
Reputation: 12017
What do you want to do?
Do that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2016, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
3,287 posts, read 3,002,249 times
Reputation: 12570
Quote:
Originally Posted by usedgoats4sale View Post
Why?

She left when I was a child. Never really called me that much, unless she needed something. About 2 years ago, she attempted to contact me thru (that social media site that everyone knows about, but we are not allowed to talk about here) I hesitantly started communicating with her. Last year around this time she sent me a communication, calling me names. Names that represent the south end of a farm animal. Along with many more. I asked her why, she said it was because I did not wish here a Happy Mothers Day as well as a Happy Birthday. I attempted to convince her that I am not accustomed to remembering nor celebrating Mothers Day. That was also the first time I found out when her birthday was.

Should I call?

If you are wondering, 33M, she is 60-ish (don't really know)
No. She is abusive and is trying to guilt you into creating a fantasy that will partially absolve her of her own guilt for leaving you.

If your best, most beloved friend told you this exact same story and asked the same question, what would you tell her? Be your own best friend, take care of yourself, and steer clear of her, now and in the future.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2016, 11:59 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,049,794 times
Reputation: 46669
Quote:
Originally Posted by usedgoats4sale View Post
Why?

She left when I was a child. Never really called me that much, unless she needed something. About 2 years ago, she attempted to contact me thru (that social media site that everyone knows about, but we are not allowed to talk about here) I hesitantly started communicating with her. Last year around this time she sent me a communication, calling me names. Names that represent the south end of a farm animal. Along with many more. I asked her why, she said it was because I did not wish here a Happy Mothers Day as well as a Happy Birthday. I attempted to convince her that I am not accustomed to remembering nor celebrating Mothers Day. That was also the first time I found out when her birthday was.

Should I call?

If you are wondering, 33M, she is 60-ish (don't really know)
Yes.

All people make mistakes. Some make terrible mistakes. Your mother made a terrible mistake in life and wants to rectify it. What's more, it sounds as if your mother might have emotional issues. Maybe, maybe not.

Be the charitable person in your mother's troubled life. The time will come when she's not around and you will be grateful you were.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2016, 12:48 PM
 
245 posts, read 302,399 times
Reputation: 869
Sounds like a rather pathetic soul. Do the right thing. Call her. I would give anything to call mine and we certainly had our ups and downs.

My SIL is a real miserable, mean person (she's 94) but I just turn the other cheek and don't twist myself into knots about her.
I used to work with a woman who, when someone was criticizing someone she would just smile and say 'Be nice." She died a young woman (40's or so) her name was Brenda.

Spontaneously, some of her friends just wrote "Be nice" on post it notes and stuck them on cubicles and walls around the office. Just gave you a good feeling to walk by and see them and remember her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:12 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top