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I left my 16 year old home over a weekend, and came home to a wrecked car. After that, I had someone stay in the house with another kid when we left for a few days.
okay, that is your own fault if you leave the key accessible.
My mom and her husband went away for the weekend when I was 14. They left me home alone. I was able to have a friend come and spend the night with me.
My mom left me home alone for a week at 16 while she went to CA with her boyfriend. My sister who was 21 stayed with me in the apartment but wasn't there most of the time.
When I was 17 my stepdad went out of town on business trips a few times and I stayed home alone. He also went somewhere for a week over my spring break. I stayed home and went out and was home when I was supposed to be. My whole Sr. year I didn't have a curfew. I came home when I wanted which was usually around 11:30 or 12 because that's when everyone else had to be home. Plus there wasn't much going on anyway past that.
I was a pretty responsible teen.Don't get me wrong I did some dumb stuff but I never got pregnant or arrested. My mom cared more about whatever relationship she was in at the time so I cared for myself a lot.
Our kids are to young to leave home alone at this point and for the next few years.
It doesn't sound like you have much of a support system in the neighborhood or the area in general, & your daughter has no friends there either. Under these circumstances I would not leave her alone for more than one night, and would keep in contact. I'm glad she would have the dog there with her so she won't get too lonely.
This isn't really at all similar to going away for college, because at college you are surrounded by other students and the dorms are quite safe.
Here's something no one has asked yet: is SHE comfortable staying home alone for two days? Who (besides 911) can she call if there is trouble of any sort or she gets freaked out for any reason? I was a pretty self-reliant 16 year old, but I read a lot of Dean Koontz books and the like and would sometimes get scared if I was alone. Will she be able to entertain herself that long with no transportation and being stuck in the house? Some people (like my husband) get really stir crazy being cooped up that long.
Here's something no one has asked yet: is SHE comfortable staying home alone for two days? Who (besides 911) can she call if there is trouble of any sort or she gets freaked out for any reason? I was a pretty self-reliant 16 year old, but I read a lot of Dean Koontz books and the like and would sometimes get scared if I was alone. Will she be able to entertain herself that long with no transportation and being stuck in the house? Some people (like my husband) get really stir crazy being cooped up that long.
It was addressed. See posts 21 and 22. The OP said her daughter was ok with the idea.
We are new to this area and don't know most of our neighbors (townhomes). She doesn't have her license yet - just a permit - so no car.
We've left her alone for several hours before on many occasions here at the house and she has done fine.
Also - she has a summer program she's going to where she'll be on a college campus for a month taking a college class so I was thinking this might be a good way to ease her into being off on her own before that happens. Yeah, it's different but ...
Oh dear god, the coddling. She's less than 2 years from being an adult and obviously intelligent if she's taking a college course over the summer on her own. I'm sure she'll survive a weekend alone. Why not ask her what she wants and is comfortable with? Sheesh. People need to give their kids some leash.
Not until the pre frontal cortex is much closer to closed. The things they do when you are around as a yard stick or guide however unaware either of you are....all gone when you walk out the door and she knows consciously and sub consciously she's it now. And her friends call. etc. etc.
I stayed home alone for a week when I was 16, back in the days before cell phones even existed.
My parents went some dorky place for a "family vacation" and I didn't want to go. I was taking a class in summer school so I used that as my excuse and engaged in a campaign to remain at home. My grandparents lived about a half-mile away and the neighbors on both sides had known me since I was baby, so my parents said OK. I was told I was only allowed to drive the car during the day when I had class and I obeyed. If for no other reason than the neighbors could see our garage. I wasn't a wild kid, I was just not the age where I wanted to be seen with my family. I was far too cool for them, doncha know.
I can't even imagine a 20-year-old not being allowed to stay home alone with a 16-year-old. When I was 20 I was a junior in college.
Of course it's not the same for every child, but don't you have to start trusting your kids sometime?
Wow, I can't believe so many people don't think it's safe to leave a 16 year old home alone overnight! I think that's an excellent age to let her try to demonstrate how responsible she can be.
I was allowed to be home alone during the day from about age 9. I remember getting my own house key in 4th grade and how proud I was to be trusted! I was really just home alone from about 3:30, when I got home from school, until Mom or Dad came home from work, maybe 5:30. There were also several neighbors that I knew I could go to if there were some emergency (there never was). I was also responsible for my sister who was 2 1/2 years younger during that time. Granted, this was the 80s, but people really seem to be overprotective these days. I was certainly not neglected.
Why wouldn't a 16 year old be allowed to be home alone overnight? Is it because of some fear of danger in the community? Is it because you're afraid she might have a party and trash the house? Is it because she might leave the stove on or a door unlocked? Is it because she might have a boyfriend over and have sex? How and when will she ever learn what to do an not do?
Just set rules: No parties, no boys can come over, maybe one girlfriend can sleep over. Clean up the kitchen when you're done in there. Don't forget to pee the dog. Then see how she does, and reward her appropriately or dish out appropriate consequences. I actually think that I became such a trustworthy kid and young adult because I was "tried-out" with trust at an earlier age and allowed to prove myself. I developed a sense of responsibility and accountability, and learned how to problem-solve on my own.
When I got to college, I saw many peers go wild once they were away form parents for the first time. They had been raised like veal. In the first 3 months of Freshman year, I saw kids get rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, get arrested for public underage drinking, have sex and regret it, have sex and get pregnant, have sex and get accused of date rape. They also seemed to screw up with money a lot, not budgeting well on their meal cards, running up debt on a new credit card. They would lose their IDs, lose their dorm keys. Some couldn't even do their own laundry. It was like they never learned to be responsible and they were now 18 and set free into the world unprepared.
Good post! I totally agree. 16 is old enough if the OP's daughter isn't a party animal and isn't a responsible teenager. 20 isn't old enough if they aren't responsible. Each person is different and the OP knows her own child.
OP, go away and have fun. Your daughter is only a phone call away so you can check on her a few times/day.
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