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I am 34 and live across the country so I cannot attend my nephews 1st bday party. My mom keeps buggin me telling me I need to send a gift or card, but I didn't because 1. He isn't even old enough to understand what a gift is. 2. I was not attending the party. 3. I just mailed him a gift from a vacation a few months ago. And 4.I don't know what to get him because he has so much stuff already. Should I be expected to give a gift? Is it a big deal not to?
You can send him an e card there are lots of websites online that have cute ecards some are free some you pay for a yearly subscription.
I'll periodically look through the cards my mom saved from my younger years (including my 1st birthday). They hold a lot of sentimental value to me - especially, those from my grandparents who are no longer living. So even though I didn't have the capability to read or appreciate them at the time, I do now as an adult.
If one would like to have a relationship with their nieces/nephews (even from a distance), recognition of milestones helps to keep that connection.
Okay. It's clear I should send something. I just sent a gift card.
As a parent, I just wanted to say that even a card without a gift is very much appreciated as it's an acknowledgment of the birthday. We have aunts and uncles who don't acknowledge our kids' birthdays and it sends a weird message. Gifts are never expected (although the kids as they get older do love getting them) but a card is very nice.
As a parent, I just wanted to say that even a card without a gift is very much appreciated as it's an acknowledgment of the birthday. We have aunts and uncles who don't acknowledge our kids' birthdays and it sends a weird message. Gifts are never expected (although the kids as they get older do love getting them) but a card is very nice.
I agree. I'm in my 40's and still have aunts who send cards. It's nice.
I still have books my parents' friends gave me as a child.
They wrote nice notes on the inside cover.
Makes me remember them.
Like one nice lady...I was too little and couldn't say her name: Barbara.
So I called her Auntie Bra-Bra. Obviously humorous to all the adults (though I didn't realize why at the time), but the name stuck to this day.
I don't know where she is now, but I remember loving my Auntie Bra-Bra and her gifts and stories and hugs.
The kid is a baby. He doesn't know one gift from another and has no clue what a birthday or gift is.
No, but his parents do.
OP, do you want to maintain (or initiate) a good relationship with your sibling? Do you want to be a part of your nephew's life, even from afar, as he grows up? If so, then acknowledge the milestone events of his life. Send something; it doesn't have to be much, just a card and perhaps a gift card or a stuffed animal or something. A one-year-old might not care, but a five-year-old or a ten-year-old or a 15-year-old will certainly notice if his uncle doesn't care about him and doesn't acknowledge his birthday. And so will his parents.
I wouldn't think twice about sending something to one of my nieces or nephews, even with one sibling with whom I do not get along because of his issues. I have done so since they were born, and for a first birthday, it is special to acknowledge the occasion, even if you cannot be there in person. I have had commitments when I had to be out of town, sometimes in another country, and as my nieces and nephews all have their electronic devices, or access to them, I will video call them on their special days. I'm even close to nieces and nephews-in-law, since my nieces and nephews have cousins whose families are not in the immediate vicinity, and they're always included or at least invited on outings, and their birthdays and holidays are remembered.
It's different when you do not have children of your own, and if you're not in the immediate vicinity, but the parents do appreciate the acknowledgment, something that I learned that as the youngest in my family. It was good to send a gift card, and your mother is interested in family harmony, and communicating the importance of acknowledging your nephew's birthday, since it there was an oversight, that can be an issue not only with a sibling, but even more so with an in-law.
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All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare (As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)
Buy a copy of a book that you loved as a child, write a nice note for your nephew under the front cover, send it to your sibling. Boom, thoughtful memento. Do it every year, and you look like a good guy.
This. I am not close to my brother and sister-in-law and know I am not going to be close by for many events - my brother lives 2 hours away and I am trying to move further away than is feasible for a day trip, so I won't be around much. For me, however, being close to my now 3 day old niece is essential. I was the first non-parent or medical personnel to hold her and while I may not be as physically present as her mom's family (whose large family all lives within 5 minutes), there are so many thoughtful ways that I can make my mark.
For her birth, I got her a kid's book and wrote her a long letter at the beginning. She won't be able to read it for years, but I hope by the time she *can* read it, she will have a whole collection of books from Auntie Charolastra. That will be my legacy to her. After all, I want to make sure that she calls her cool aunt when she hits the hard teen years where she can't tell mom and dad anything.
I would avoid gift cards - THAT is certain to be forgotten. At this age, it's not about the stuff but about what they can hold onto as they grow.
In my own family growing up 1000 miles from my extended family, I have one aunt who sent me a carousel horse every year. Was that my thing? No - but I always looked forward to it each year. A cousin, who had none of his own children or nieces and nephews, sent savings bonds every year. I recently cashed most of them, as a 28 year old, and got to see all of the nice little cards and notes he had sent along with the slips over the years. Most of my other aunts and uncles had very little to do with my brother and I, but the few who sent gifts/cards always gave us an entree to form a relationship.
Those relationships with kids can be precious both for you and them. It seems like such a petty thing to send a gift for an infant who won't remember, but you can make it into a memory that lasts forever.
EDIT: I also have been buying her cute costumes. Not for Halloween - I want mom and dad to pick out the *big* costumes - but I found a bunch of stuff on sale after Halloween and gave them in a set for part of my shower gift. They will make great photos and it's another quirky thing that a beloved aunt or uncle can get away with. And c'mon, you'd have to have a heart of stone to not melt a little at a baby dressed up like an elephant/ladybug/Bernie Sanders on a random Tuesday.
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