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You also owe them love and guidance. If you're willing to let your child sit in jail for four months and not graduate high school, you're not providing either love or guidance.
Those parents should have bailed him out, and then talked with him, worked with him, put in the time and effort some children need to be led along the correct path in life.
I've said twice in this thread that I don't think I could have let my son sit in jail. But, based on the very second hand information the OP has, I have to believe there is a much bigger history of problems with this boy than she is aware of. And if he was given multiple chances to straighten up, then his parents may have felt this was the best way to get his attention. I'm not wearing their shoes, I won't judge them.
IMHO, assuming that this is a "good kid" who has not been in trouble with the law before, there is a huge difference between a parent who wants to "teach their child a lesson" by not posting bail so that are in a local jail overnight and forcing the teen to stay at Rikers (a heavy duty, very dangerous place) for four months. I would not be very surprised if he does not end up with psychiatric problems or long term PTSD from that ordeal.
It is possible, even likely, that his parents have virtually destroyed his life for several if not many years. If he is not allowed to graduate on time that could seriously effect his chances of getting into the colleges that he selected (even in the future).
Unless there is a lot more to this story IMHO his parents were wrong (very, very wrong) to do that to him.
Frankly, if he does not talk to his parents again for the next five or ten or twenty years it may not be enough time to erase what they did to him. His other relatives should have tried to talk some sense into the parents or they should have bailed him out.
This picture doesn't look right to me.
You punish a wayward child by allowing them to have to stay in jail for one or two days max''s without being bailed out .
Any parent that allows a child to miss 4 months of school to teach them a lesson by being in one of the most dangerous jail in the USA is a lousy parent.
I've said twice in this thread that I don't think I could have let my son sit in jail. But, based on the very second hand information the OP has, I have to believe there is a much bigger history of problems with this boy than she is aware of. And if he was given multiple chances to straighten up, then his parents may have felt this was the best way to get his attention. I'm not wearing their shoes, I won't judge them.
When you say you are not judging the patents what you are really doing is defending them.
When you say you are not judging the patents what you are really doing is defending them.
I suggest you consult a dictionary. They aren't the same thing.
I don't know the reasoning behind the parents' decision. Neither do you, or, for that matter, does the OP. And without that information, all anybody can state for a fact is what they believe they would do when faced with a similar situation.
You do know that there is no such thing in our court system, don't you? It's either Guilty or Not Guilty. No one is ever found "Innocent." And in this case, they dismissed the charges altogether because the police were found to have lied about the entire arrest, so he was never even tried. So there was never any adjudication as to his guilt or lack thereof. It was a case of "Oops, my bad. Never mind! You can go home now. Sorry to have troubled you!"
If anyone thinks that a teenager with some personal use pot deserves to go to Rikers for 4 months, they are either insane or have no idea what goes on in Rikers. If it were more than personal use pot, his bail would have been higher.
And, judging by the parent's treatment of the kid's sister, they are more than a bubble off in the first place.
Should there have been repercussions? Yes! 4 months at Rikers? Hell no. Did they cut his hands off if he snuck a cookie when he was little? Pretty much the same ratio of "crime" (unproven) to punishment.
Kid is entirely right in cutting off his bat-**** crazy parents.
Without knowing all that went on after the parents found drugs months ago (as far as future infractions, etc)...
I would not bail him out either.
He made choices he should not have, and he needs to learn the consequences of those choices.
It is telling that no one - even you - would pony up the $500 to get him out.
I also find it odd that the guy spent four months at Rikers over $20 of weed.
There has to be WAY more to the story.
Wow. That's harsh. Based on the info given by OP, I would have bailed him out. There certainly has to be WAY more going on in that household. The parents actions are unconscionable. It would take a lot more than a $20 bag of grass for me to give up on one of my kids. Im thinking you don't have kids.
Work as a intern during college for the courts and I also grew up with crazy hippy parents who smoked more than enough weed. They both were successful in their fields, so I'm not adamantly against it. However, most people have basic legal knowledge.
Not on this forum, clearly. We're obviously in the distinct minority.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
Yes, this and this. I already said I don't think I personally could have done what these parents did, but I won't judge them without knowing their side of the story. And, I'm sure it's full of heartbreak.
Why are you "sure it's full of heartbreak?" You consider it ignoble and unjustified to judge the parents, but have no trouble at all judging the son. What do you know that nobody else in this thread seems to know?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SCguy81
Wow. That's harsh. Based on the info given by OP, I would have bailed him out. There certainly has to be WAY more going on in that household. The parents actions are unconscionable. It would take a lot more than a $20 bag of grass for me to give up on one of my kids. Im thinking you don't have kids.
I suggest you consult a dictionary. They aren't the same thing.
I don't know the reasoning behind the parents' decision. Neither do you, or, for that matter, does the OP. And without that information, all anybody can state for a fact is what they believe they would do when faced with a similar situation.
It doesn't matter what their reasoning was- the parents were wrong.
True. Which is equivalent to: just because he was arrested doesn't mean he was guilty.
That's right. And in this case, video showed that the police made the whole thing up, showing that he was not guilty. Several on CD seem to have ignored this little fact.
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