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Welp the person who gets frustrated, impatient and snaps has to realize that the issue lies with them. Chances are any genuinely new poster probably doesn't know what has been going on here before they've joined and created a thread.
No, because negatively received posts are far from exclusive to (or at least a majority of) genuinely new posters as your statement above implies ("chances are"), and some posters who get slammed are far from innocent as to the effect they're having and the pot they're stirring.
Sometimes the issue - if you will - lies with the negative responder (my example pointed to that - and it was just an example; I should have been clearer about that) but no, it is not an "issue" with the negative responder in every case.
Also, being genuinely new is zero excuse if the person's post is inflammatory, bigoted, gender-slamming or whatever. Which absolutely, positively happens too.
I agree, being new is no excuse for not playing by the rules (written rules as well as acceptable custom on a site).
Waaaay back when I was new to the internet, around 1998 or 99, I read "The Internet for Dummies" and there was a section on online discussion forums. they advised to lurk for a while and get the lay of the land before posting. You should not stumble onto a site for the first time and jump right into posting, kind of like I would never go to a foreign country to the first time and start driving on their roads right away. I might break rules and I might p*ss people off.
To many people go to a discussion forum site for the first time and run around breaking stuff like a bull in a china shop. A bull with poor grammar and no regard for rules that poops on the floor of the china shop.
For instance, I've checked out this "Reddit" that the young people rave about, and I lurked long enough to know that I absolutely do not need to post there. I could have just jumped into the germ-ridden froth but no, I saw the rules and customs and decide it was not for me.
Some people seem to join CD and post within 5 minutes! And you can tell they never looked at the TOS for the whole site or for a particular forum.
Hmmm I wonder how many of us can honestly say that we have never said or done something that we weren't totally proud of?
We all have our moments especially when someone pushes our buttons.
It's no different here in C. D. land.
One of my City Data friends is a personal friend in real life now as well. She was on a race hater thread and actually called someone a racist ass. Okay it made me laugh only because I know how nice she really is. It's against TOS and I hope she didn't get an infraction.
I'm sure the person on the receiving end looked at it from a different perspective then her or I had.
People are entitled to their opinion and sometimes there just isn't an easy way to express it. Just like in real life.
It's so easy to fall on that hater band wagon and take offense if you're thin skinned. Just like my ex alcoholic friend did when I tried to talk to him about his addiction. Talk about a mean drunk. Yikes. Whatever. I guess I pushed his buttons even though I tried my best to express my concern in a loving, kind way.
Yes there are some real rectums here on City Data, but I'm more interested in knowing why they are the way they are before I crucify and dismiss them. Some seniors can be really crabby. I saw that a lot in my patients. I could never be mean to them. Well except for one retired judge that was a demanding, entitled rectum. I had to push back in a firm way with him. Was I mean? That's a matter of perspective and opinion.
Here we go with that opinion thingie again.
Just remember that you are only seeing a small fraction of who that person is that has offended you and keep it in perspective. We all have bad days and we all have buttons that are too easily pushed.
Even rectums have a nice side, sometimes it's hidden way deep down inside, but it's there. Even with the ex alcoholic friend. You should see him with animals. Awwwww. There's something sweet about a big tough guy melting while holding a kitten. Then there's Mr. Hyde. Sad. I just can't relate to that. We all have our handicaps and all have those moments that we just can't relate. Resisting the urge to be mean about it can be difficult. Human nature at it's finest.
I agree, being new is no excuse for not playing by the rules (written rules as well as acceptable custom on a site).
Waaaay back when I was new to the internet, around 1998 or 99, I read "The Internet for Dummies" and there was a section on online discussion forums. they advised to lurk for a while and get the lay of the land before posting. You should not stumble onto a site for the first time and jump right into posting, kind of like I would never go to a foreign country to the first time and start driving on their roads right away. I might break rules and I might p*ss people off.
To many people go to a discussion forum site for the first time and run around breaking stuff like a bull in a china shop. A bull with poor grammar and no regard for rules that poops on the floor of the china shop.
For instance, I've checked out this "Reddit" that the young people rave about, and I lurked long enough to know that I absolutely do not need to post there. I could have just jumped into the germ-ridden froth but no, I saw the rules and customs and decide it was not for me.
Some people seem to join CD and post within 5 minutes! And you can tell they never looked at the TOS for the whole site or for a particular forum.
Yes. Barreling right into a forum knowing zip about it is really pretty much like the person who comes uninvited to a party and literally pushes right into the center of the group and takes over the conversation, knowing nothing about the people there but just inserting his/her opinion left and right, then making an off-color joke "not realizing" that someone in the group might identify with it and take offense (or even just "not realizing" that it's offensive all by itself).
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,488 posts, read 3,335,073 times
Reputation: 9913
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228
You can put a poster on ignore? Does that mean you won't see any of their posts? I haven't had any problems with anyone yet because I usually refuse to be drawn into such nonsense but in case that changes it would be nice to know how to ignore a poster.
Don't know if you will see this... but....
To ignore someone on the CD forum:
Click on the little 'i' (blue icon for information) under the person's name. It brings up their profile page.
Under the profile picture, or their name if no profile picture, there is a line that has 'Send Message' and 'User Lists'
Click on 'User Lists', there is an option to ignore the member.
It tells me that if they are like that online, hiding behind their keyboard, then they are even worse in person. Not someone I would want to associate with or hold a conversations with, online or as a friend/acquaintance.
I don't need negative, nasty people around me. I have good people in my life, and better things to do than listen to them.
I agree with the exception that many are probably not as bad in person, bullies are cowards and wouldn't usually dare "out" themselves. Spiteful, nasty or snarky comments online are safe when the person gets to hide.
If you don't feed them, they won't grow in oner words, just ignore the trolls and they usually stop when they don't get attention.
No, because negatively received posts are far from exclusive to (or at least a majority of) genuinely new posters as your statement above implies ("chances are"), and some posters who get slammed are far from innocent as to the effect they're having and the pot they're stirring.
Sometimes the issue - if you will - lies with the negative responder (my example pointed to that - and it was just an example; I should have been clearer about that) but no, it is not an "issue" with the negative responder in every case.
Also, being genuinely new is zero excuse if the person's post is inflammatory, bigoted, gender-slamming or whatever. Which absolutely, positively happens too.
Oh I agree, this is what I said in my other post. But I'm talking about new posters who make threads and comments that display none of these attitudes that you listed. Some of them still get slammed by some d-bag posters anyway.
I've really backed down my negative talk on this forum the last year or so, aside rom infractions it makes you look like a bonehead and doesn't do any good anyhow. I recently saw a thread in the POC forum where some dude just went off of the rails screaming a bunch of nasty stuff regarding mothers day, it was the most nasty most vitriolic post I've ever seen on CD. Stuff out of a serial killers mind, a lot of posters said similar coments. It looked like a person that seriously needed professional help. Not being glib here. It made the guy look really bad, to the point where between the horror you felt you actually felt pity for him.
I haven't seen the thread in question, but I don't see how you deserved condescension for asking questions about something that you are admittedly ignorant about. I mean, isn't that one of the major points of the forum? To ask questions and gain information?
People who hurl insults do not impress me. It just tells me that they are mean little people whose personalities are such that I would want nothing to do with them, online or IRL. Note that this is not necessarily the same as someone who expresses a negative opinion of someone but does it in a more respectful tone. There is a world of difference between "[People of a certain race] are nasty, horrible, smelly, awful, good-for-nothings" and "I don't like [people of a certain race] and so I try to avoid them."
There is no difference at all between these two, and both would get the same response from me. Both are bigoted opinions and will be treated as such.
An internet forum is a place to say things that you want online that you cannot say IRL, IMO. If you disagree, fine. But remember that it works both ways. If you can say the things that you wrote above, then I can certainly respond in kind.
Oh I agree, this is what I said in my other post. But I'm talking about new posters who make threads and comments that display none of these attitudes that you listed. Some of them still get slammed by some d-bag posters anyway.
Yes, and that is the azzhat faction.
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in oner words, just ignore the trolls and they usually stop when they don't get attention.
