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just say "I'm sorry my plate is full and I am unable to work with you on this project. I thought i would be able to, but it is just too much for me. Thank you."
that's it. you get to change your mind. not a problem.
Acquaintance #1 has recently asked for another favor. She wants help making birthday invites for another party she's hosting. She would reimburse me for supplies and help put the invites together, but no mention of paying me for my time or design--she basically wants another favor. Initially she offered me an out, saying I could decline and she wouldn't be upset, but I wanted to be nice and thought I could help her out again, so I said yes. Now I regret committing to this. I don't really have the time or energy to do another one of these projects with her. Even if she paid me, I can't see spending a month coming up with a design and all the endless suggestions & changes--its just exhausting. I initially told her I was thinking about some designs, but I haven't had very much free time to put any samples together since my kids got out of school. I have a busier summer schedule than I anticipated and I don't have a lot of free time to myself. The first set of invites took 3 months to complete because she turned what should have been an easy project into a major production. I'm pretty sure this one will go the same way.
She doesn't need the invites until August, so she has time to make other arrangements. I feel a bit guilty, but I do a lot of this type of creative work during the school year and need a break. How do I gracefully and gently tell her I can't do it?
If you already said yes, suck it up and do what you promised to do. Just don't do it again. If your "Word" is no good, then there isn't much to you, unless it was something beyond your control. Just because she didn't have an interest in a personal relationship does not mean that now your allowed to be a jerk.
Let her know ahead of time, that you don't have the time to make changes after you start so she should be sure of what she wants right up front. Next time "think" before you commit to things you don't want to do.
Artists must never, ever work for free. I'm a writer and I don't even work on my friends' resumes without some sort of reimbursement.
If you don't put a value on your skills and time, why would anyone else?
Lesson learned.
Unless you volunteer to do so. Then you should follow through.
If you read the post, OP volunteered to do it, hoping there would be fringe benefits. No one forced him, or said his time and talent had no value.
As far as you "Charging" your friends, to help them, that's not something I would be proud of. I help out friends when ever I can, or they need help. They don't have to pay me to be a friend.
If she asks again, say you just find you don't have time due to your business.
Get an attorney to set up a contract you can use as your standard contract. It might cost an hour of time. Always have changes and approvals signed by client. Get a retainer.
You have treat your work and time as business or you will be taken advantage of. Good luck.
Unless you volunteer to do so. Then you should follow through.
If you read the post, OP volunteered to do it, hoping there would be fringe benefits. No one forced him, or said his time and talent had no value.
As far as you "Charging" your friends, to help them, that's not something I would be proud of. I help out friends when ever I can, or they need help. They don't have to pay me to be a friend.
If I had a stylist friend cut my hair, I would expect to pay her. That's how they earn their living. Same goes for other work.
I enjoy paper crafts and have a craft room. I do a lot of volunteer work for my kid's school by making things for my kid's school events (they reimburse for supplies, but my time is free to the school). Although I do this as hobby, I've had many people suggest I should go into it as a business. I've considered opening an Etsy store, but haven't had time to create any samples.
An acquaintance I've worked with on multiple school volunteer projects asked me to help her make invitations for a bridal shower she was hosting. I spent a month designing the invites, with her sending me many pics from Pinterest and making endless suggestions and changes to the design. I didn't charge her a design fee for these invites, I did it as a favor because of our working relationship at the school, and I was hoping to become better friends with her. She bought half the supplies and reimbursed me for all the paper and other items I supplied, and she came over twice to help put everything together. Afterwards, she sent me a nice thank you with some of the special cookies she made for the party, and also took me out to lunch. She was appreciative, but our friendship hasn't blossomed as I'd hoped. She never really called again to get together, but it was probably for the best as I discovered we really didn't have all that much in common. I was happy I could help out an acquaintance, but I was also relieved when it was over.
Two months later, another acquaintance I volunteer with at my kid's school asked if she could pay me to design and make a banner for her daughter's 1st Communion party. She sent me pics, I emailed her a sample, she was very happy with it, and I had it completed in a week. Easy peasy. She paid me in full for my time and supplies--my first paid project of this nature. That's when I thought an Etsy store might be a possibility.
Acquaintance #1 has recently asked for another favor. She wants help making birthday invites for another party she's hosting. She would reimburse me for supplies and help put the invites together, but no mention of paying me for my time or design--she basically wants another favor. Initially she offered me an out, saying I could decline and she wouldn't be upset, but I wanted to be nice and thought I could help her out again, so I said yes. Now I regret committing to this. I don't really have the time or energy to do another one of these projects with her. Even if she paid me, I can't see spending a month coming up with a design and all the endless suggestions & changes--its just exhausting. I initially told her I was thinking about some designs, but I haven't had very much free time to put any samples together since my kids got out of school. I have a busier summer schedule than I anticipated and I don't have a lot of free time to myself. The first set of invites took 3 months to complete because she turned what should have been an easy project into a major production. I'm pretty sure this one will go the same way.
She doesn't need the invites until August, so she has time to make other arrangements. I feel a bit guilty, but I do a lot of this type of creative work during the school year and need a break. How do I gracefully and gently tell her I can't do it?
Throw together a decent easy peesy invite that doesn't take up to much time. Have her come over and show her how to do a few, then turn it over to her. THat is it. Otherwise, own up to what you volunteered to do. You are only as good as your word.
Throw together a decent easy peesy invite that doesn't take up to much time. Have her come over and show her how to do a few, then turn it over to her. THat is it. Otherwise, own up to what you volunteered to do. You are only as good as your word.
That's the problem, I don't have time to throw together an easy sample. It would open me up to her endless suggestions & input, which was part of the original reason I regretted saying yes to the 2nd set of invites. I don't have the energy or space in my packed calendar for the time consuming exercise this will become.
Just to clarify, these were invites for one of her personal parties, not something for a charity committee or for my kid's school. She still has 2 months to order something else or make other arrangements.
It's a moot point anyway, as I've already emailed her to apologize & tell her I don't have the free time I thought I would this summer.
Thank you all again for the input.
Last edited by FairMindedLL; 06-20-2016 at 01:54 AM..
As far as you "Charging" your friends, to help them, that's not something I would be proud of. I help out friends when ever I can, or they need help. They don't have to pay me to be a friend.
Oh. OK. Then I think I'll ask my accountant friend to do my taxes "as a favor." I have a blank wall, so maybe my artist friend will paint something there to help me out. I need a new roof, perhaps I will befriend a roof contractor who would be happy to donate his services because he's a good guy and we get along.
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