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Similar circumstances here but my dad passed unexpectedly and did not have the chance to put some things in place. My brother has always gotten more assistance than me and that included the inheritance. Bottom line, Dad knew I was always able to care for myself and brother couldn't. It's not fare but I wouldn't trade places with brother ever, he's an idiot who can't manage through life and I have it so mush easier than he does because I can. Moral of the story, let it go and encourage your dad to have as much fun, spend HIS money and enjoy what he has left of life.
My parents tried to compare my sisters mooching with a land investment we got them involved in that made them some serious money. They tried to say they only invested in it to help us so that evened us out. At that point I had to bring it to their attention that we didn't have to include them in the deal, which was true. It helped them, not us. That did make me mad. It is their money and their business what they do with it, but I felt insulted by this. So, I'm back to how its a good idea not to keep score and stay out of it as long as mom and dad are left with plenty for their own retirement. Best to just worry about your own money.
Are all of you starting to think that every family with more than one child has one of these? This must be normal.
We'll call it luck. I got luckier than my sister in the genetic lottery than she did, so that's my inheritance. Now she's evening the score. So be it.
it's not a question of my parent's business to do what they want... it's a question of playing favorites between children which in my opinion in definitely not cool. Clearly they can do that if they choose, but then I also have the right to have an adverse opinion on it. And it irks me more if they are enabling someone who has shown irresponsible behavior!
To be clear, it is not me who is expecting anything from anyone, if my parents give it all to charity I will be thrilled. I have made my own money. What I have an issue with is doling out more money to an entitled spoiled brat. As I said just because they are free to do that does not mean I have to think what they are doing is cool, it is totally not cool. Infact, it is totally awful.
I didn't read all 12 pgs of this thread so I don't know if this has been asked before but does your dad/parents have a will in place? If not then that's what you should discuss & since you are the level headed one ask if they will make you the executor of the will, then you'll have total control of the assets. Also keep in mind parents tend to make the executor someone who has been close to them in terms of trust, loyalty, reliability, & responsible, is that you or have both of you been distant? I sense animosity from you & I'm not saying it isn't warranted either but do understand your dad's money is afterall his money & he's entitled to do whatever his wishes to do with it while alive & you have to come to terms with this. The most you can do is talk to dear old dad now & try to reason with him & get that will in place.
I didn't read all 12 pgs of this thread so I don't know if this has been asked before but does your dad/parents have a will in place? If not then that's what you should discuss & since you are the level headed one ask if they will make you the executor of the will, then you'll have total control of the assets.
I wouldn't say that an executor has "total control" of the assets. They still have to abide by what is outlined in the will, or it can be challenged.
I don't think you should be discussing Jack S about inheritance with your dad and making comments along those lines. It's none of your business how your dad breaks up the money, yeah, I get how you may feel about it, but again, your dad shouldn't be entertaining and having this discussion with you guys.
LOL, this money/inheritance thing always seems to get really ugly with some families.
Just in our family alone, Mrs. Chow's dad passed away a yr or so ago and left Mrs. Chow and her brother a chunk of change, nothing to go wild over, but whatever, the point was that we could have easily made a case as to why her and her brother shouldn't split it down the middle, but in the interest of being civil we didn't. Her dad didn't really have a formally laid out will but there was an understanding that it would be split.
This idea of inheritance is a strange thing for me. I grew up so broke ass lower middle class that me getting an "inheritance" wasn't even something on my radar and maybe that was good because I worked hard and while I got a few lucky breaks along the way I didn't have thought of getting money when my parents died.
Keep your nose out and just let your father decide how things should get split.
I don't think you should be discussing Jack S about inheritance with your dad and making comments along those lines. It's none of your business how your dad breaks up the money, yeah, I get how you may feel about it, but again, your dad shouldn't be entertaining and having this discussion with you guys.
LOL, this money/inheritance thing always seems to get really ugly with some families.
Just in our family alone, Mrs. Chow's dad passed away a yr or so ago and left Mrs. Chow and her brother a chunk of change, nothing to go wild over, but whatever, the point was that we could have easily made a case as to why her and her brother shouldn't split it down the middle, but in the interest of being civil we didn't. Her dad didn't really have a formally laid out will but there was an understanding that it would be split.
This idea of inheritance is a strange thing for me. I grew up so broke ass lower middle class that me getting an "inheritance" wasn't even something on my radar and maybe that was good because I worked hard and while I got a few lucky breaks along the way I didn't have thought of getting money when my parents died.
Keep your nose out and just let your father decide how things should get split.
How many times have you done something for the family. Of course, respecting the parents' wishes is necessary, but keeping out entirely is not necessary or to be chastised.
There's some people that if you give them a lot of money, they will go and kill themselves with their use of the said money. Sometimes its better to set something up to allow the longer term care of a child that never grew up. At some point, it makes sense for the head of the family to designate who will control the family assets because they are no longer the right person for the job. This is especially true if one party is manipulating an elder as opposed to working with them for fulfillment of their wishes.
k374,
You already answered your own question. Your parents can do whatever they want with their own money.
Mabey they should just donate everything they leave behind to a charity, then there won't be any hard feelings on your part or your brothers.
If I had children like you, that is exactly what I would do.
After all, you obviously don't need the money, and it would do your brother good to fend for himself.
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