Why is there such a taboo against talking about inhertiance? (wealthy, mother)

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by SassySpice

I think a bigger priority is for adult children to discuss their parents having a will in place since the issue is not if I should die but when I die. Too many siblings have all out wars when there's no will, there's always those who feel entitled to the bulk of the estate, others who feel they were short changed, & these ill feelings can last a lifetime with no reconciliation. People act real funny when money is involved, personalities change.

I think this is a good way to put it.

I think, especially if there are lots of children, it is important to counsel the parents to have some kind of provision for the estate to avoid disastrous misunderstandings. That's not the same as asking, "Hey, what am I going to get?"

[clawsondude]

Sadly my mom already died at the young age of 51, but I don't count on my dad leaving me anything. I would be happiest if my dad lives to a ripe old age and spends the last penny in his account doing something he loves. He has worked hard (and continues) to his entire adult life and I hope he lives long and fully enjoys the fruits of his labor.

[dunno what to put here]

I talked about this with my mother yesterday, funnily enough. We were talking about my grandfather - her father - dying, the money she got from that, what she did with it (this was 6 years ago). She then mentioned that at least if she died me and my sister wouldn't need to be concerned about the funeral costs because the payout we'd receive would be around £100k (or $131k). I told her that if she died the last thing on my mind would be money, and I'd give all the money in the world to have her back should the worst happen. That money would be split evenly between me and my sister anyway.

It's not really something anyone likes talking about because nobody wants to think about it. Even just the thought of losing my mother makes me want to cry and I'm a 29 year old man.

[caligirlz]

My parents talk to us kids about our inheritance, however, it certainly is not something I'd share with friends, coworkers, or people I meet on the street or a bar.

[stellastar2345]

Moderator cut: orphaned quote and response

hmm. I didn't passively aggressively rep you. Why would I really care what someone who got a DUI and is broke at 50 thinks? If your daughter/stepdaughter at age 26 has 3 kids (and one child who is at least 5 making her 21/22 when she had her first child), I'm doing better than her too. You aren't the type of person who I look up to and would rethink my views for. Sure, I was given more help, but I am able to make a lot more out of it. She/you might have been more "independent" when you/she was 18-21 but it really doesn't matter at the end of the day. there's pride and then there is foolish pride.

[Stone28]

Originally Posted by Larry Caldwell

It's foolish to talk to children about their inheritance, because they might count on it. Financial resources can evaporate quickly at the end of life. A child expecting a million dollars and a house might inherit a pile of unpaid bills and a house with 10 years of deferred maintenance. It's better to tell them you will do what you can for them, but they shouldn't count on much. By the time you cork off, they better be self-supporting adults who can manage their own money.

I really have to agree. I would Love to leave my children a substantial inheritance but you never know what life is going to throw at you. Really when you think about it's probably 95% out of our control.

My children are still fairly young and my goal is to teach them financial literacy. I do believe they do have to learn through there own mistakes. This current job market is challenging I do my best to make sure they are aware of that.

Getting back to the OP's question. I have said pretty much the same thing to my wife as the OP's Dad, but, I would not tell my children for fear it might backfire and leave them unprepared in case things changed.

[dunno what to put here]

Originally Posted by younglisa7

35% of high school graduates do not go on to college. Many cannot afford it. I think you should count your blessings and be thankful for how privileged you really are.

In the UK it's higher. Just under half of 18 & 19 year olds go to college. Most don't. I was reading a story on the BBC of a 22 year old and 20 year old who bought a 2 bedroom house together, with the help of a government scheme aimed at helping first time buyers get on the property ladder. The 22 year old man is an estate agent and I forget what his girlfriend does. I doubt anyone would call them failures and would be in a better position to have kids than many people older than them.

[OptimusPrime69]

I would give all the money back that was "willed" to me in a blink of an eye if my parents could come back.
Felt strange getting this money. I always assumed they would be alive and I just had to work my own way... (I mean I knew they would die some day, but I tended to not think about it)

[Nov3]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69

I would give all the money back that was "willed" to me in a blink of an eye if my parents could come back.
Felt strange getting this money. I always assumed they would be alive and I just had to work my own way... (I mean I knew they would die some day, but I tended to not think about it)

So few can understand the depth of your words here, Yet I do!

Parents are far more then the sum total of money or tokens of family heirlooms.

I am 100% for openly discussing a persons last will and testament. Its "THEIR" decision to be respected.
Most adults understand that we shall depart the earth and deserve to make plans for what is to be given or attended to .....
I've been an executor to a will and it was important to understand and uphold the duty of such a task.

[manhattangirl]

OP, your parents have a lot of money and you are the only child. There is no reason not to talk about it. The situation is very different when there are multiple heirs and/or if there is not that much money to go around.