Family members who always ask for favors (siblings, person, brother)
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I've always been independent since I was a child. I had very few friends, and the ones I did make are still my best friends. I like doing things on my own most of the time, and rarely ask for help. Same goes for when I grew up. Moved out at 18, and have been financially independent since. I am proud to say, I have never asked for help financially, nor ask for favors that would put someone in a difficult position.
I have 5 younger siblings (they are my half siblings from my mom's second marriage). They still all live under her roof. My 3rd youngest brother just got his driver's license a few weeks back and immediately bought a cheap car. He is 18 and works a minimum wage job (full time). Due to his age, his insurance quote was very high. My mom tried to add him to her policy but it was $295. So she called and asked me if I could try and put him under my policy. At first I didnt know what her quote was. It didnt feel right to say no without trying, and I know my brother works very hard for his money (works in a retirement home) so I called my insurance company and got the quote. I thought the quote price would scare them off, but nope, the quote I got was actually $50-$60 less. My mom asked if I could finalize the quote, because this would help him save and he would pay me every month for his own insurance, just subtract the difference. I felt bad for my brother, if I said no he would have to pay more with my mom's insurance, and I know that if he doesnt end up paying, worst case I could nag my mom (she's like his back up). So I agreed to help him out. I made it very clear, that if anything happens, he drives recklessly and gets in trouble I will take him off, and everyone agreed.
So, the first payment is due on 8/2 and they just called me (mom and brother) and asked if I could cover the payment for him first until the 10th. He brakes are horribly bad and only has 5% life left, and its too dangerous to drive so he wants to fix it asap with this paycheck. My mom asked me if it was ok, if not, he could still pay me, but that would mean he wont get his car fixed until 2 weeks later. So I put my brother's safety first and said yes, although our rent is also do that week. We will come up with the money to pay our rent, we always do, but I find it a bit annoying. I hope this is a one time thing and they wont keep doing this (making me cover for him).
Last year, my mom asked me to add a phone line for my youngest brother and she said she would pay every month for his part. It took her nearly 6 months to pay us. As soon as she did, I found an excuse to cancel his line, saying I needed to use his line to upgrade my phone. The only reason I agreed this time, is because I am helping my brother directly, and he is the one making the payments. I felt as a sister, I should give him a chance to be responsible. That is why I hate people who ask for favors that would put others in a long term commitment. Makes me almost wish that I lied about the quote, saying its $300 or something, but I am a very honest person.
If they do this repeatedly, are there any nice ways that I can take him off my policy without making them feel bad? Thanks
If anyone is helping in this situation it should be the parents not you.
Tell them that you have bills and can't pay his share anymore. It is honest and in my opinion the right thing to do.
I am surprised that your car insurance allowed him to be on your policy. Heck, we have difficult keeping our adult daughter on our car insurance plan and she lives with us and the car is titled in my name. In fact, I would not be surprised if your half-brother had an accident that the insurance company may deny or fight his coverage because I bet that you lied on the application (perhaps saying that he lived with you or that he was a dependent).
Even if they cover an accident, if your brother has one, they could cancel your coverage or significantly raise your rates because he is on your policy. Being on someone else's car insurance is not like being on their cell phone plan. It is a different type of legal responsibility.
BTW, I would not allow others to take financial advantage of you like that. Those are not small favors like asking someone to help you to move or to babysit or to borrow $20 or something like that. Your two examples could cause serious difficulty for you.
Last edited by germaine2626; 07-23-2016 at 08:31 PM..
I know you're trying to do a nice thing, but you're crazy to add him under your policy. There's a reason 18 yr olds pay such high rates, they are accident risks. There are certain things we do as parents, because being parents obligates us to accept responsibility for our kids. As a sister, you are putting yourself in a position to have your own coverage jeopardized.
Add in the fact that you're on the hook for the first bill, and tell him, regrettably, you can't help.
Since your half-brother does not live with you, nor is he your dependent, I am surprised that your car insurance allowed him to be on your policy. In fact, I would not be surprised if he had an accident that they will deny his coverage because you lied on the application.
Being on someone else's car insurance is not like being on their cell phone plan.
BTW, I would not allow others to take financial advantage of you like that. Those are not like favors like asking someone to help you to move or to babysit or something like that.
I checked. It seems you can indeed add a driver who doesn't reside with you.
If anyone is helping in this situation it should be the parents not you.
Tell them that you have bills and can't pay his share anymore. It is honest and in my opinion the right thing to do.
I am assuming they are broke as well, so cant lend him any money. He's all on his own to pay for his own stuff. The problem with me is im too nice to say no.
If he has an accident AND the insurance company does cover the claim, they'll probably then either cancel your insurance or raise your rates. Is he willing to pay his part AND your increased rates if this happens? I know you want to be a good sister, but this isn't a good idea.
I am assuming they are broke as well, so cant lend him any money. He's all on his own to pay for his own stuff. The problem with me is im too nice to say no.
If you have a $500 or $1,000 deductible on your car insurance will he be able to pay that is he needs to make a claim? Or will he expect you to pay that, too?
What if he has a car accident and your insurance rates double or your insurance coverage gets cancelled because he is on your policy? What will you do?
You have to learn to say "No" or "No, that is not my responsibility" or "No, he is your son, not my son" or just "NO!"
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