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So what is exactly the best way when you invite people to prevent them from flaking? Unfortunately, I've had more than a few do this to me, and of course I no longer invite them out in the future, but what I really want be be able to do is minimize the chances of them doing it in the first place, rather than have to cut them from my life after the fact.
I grew up in a family that taught me to respect others seriously and to be a man of my word, so I expect the same from others.
While I know that things can and do come up, the litmus test should be that they are JUST as likely to honor a commitment they've agreed to with me, as they would be to show up to work on schedule.
People who are going to flake are typically just going to do it and you either have to accept it or find new friends. I think some people legitimately have good reasons.
For example, I have several friends with chronic health issues (or spouses/family members with serious health problems) and there's not really anything they can do if they wake up one morning and feel too terrible to come out. The health concerns might interfere with work, family, and friends and I'm not going to make it worse by making them feel guilty about something that's already a challenge.
Most people are flaky just because they're inconsiderate. If that's the case, then you just have to cut them out and find new friends. It's not fair to make plans and wait around for someone who is always late, canceling last minute, or otherwise can't bother to keep the plans. I also hate the people who say they'll show up somewhere and then everyone's expecting them to show up and they never do. If you simply aren't interested in coming out, politely decline the invite. I've worked with some people who will say they'll come but never do, yet everyone waits around for those people to arrive.
Follow up in a friendly but specific manner
Call to chat about the upcoming event a few days before, talk about how you imagine the event going. Act excited but not too excited.
Maybe have them pay in advance if it is a event that costs something.
Pick them up.
Remind them a week ahead.
Definitely have them pay in advance. We once learned this the hard way. My daughter was in a special dance performance and many of her friends said that they wanted to come and see her. While the tickets were not that expensive (about $8 each) she had about ten people who promised that they were going and we should buy a ticket for them. As the show came closer one by one they said that they couldn't make it. It turned out that no one could come and my daughter (about age 16) was heart broken. Some of her aunts & uncles came instead but that was the last time that we did not collect money for tickets from people in advance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lbjen
Pick better friends. Seriously. You can't make someone change who they are.
yes, pick better friends if they constantly flake on you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brocco
Follow up in a friendly but specific manner
Call to chat about the upcoming event a few days before, talk about how you imagine the event going. Act excited but not too excited.
You mean standing you up? People have done it for years, and will continue to do so. Nothing I would lose sleep over.
They don't continue to do so if you drop them.
OP, really no way to prevent it from happening the first time. However you give them one pass, if it happens again than it's up to you to stop it.
"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me".
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