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Now I'll always have love for my father simply because he's my father but he's always been a disgusting human being and the older I get, the more I'm able to critically think about his horrid behavior. He's never been physically abusive to us but the years of verbal abuse and horrific manipulation tends to corrode any respect that I have for him. He guilt trips me and tells me that I should respect him, but then he goes on a hatred filled tirade and calls me ****** along with other horrible things (I'm gay btw). Now I'm just waiting for the day till he dies so that we can buy his house from the bank and won't have to support him (he took out a reverse mortgage and blew the cash on junk so now has to depend on us, another one of his selfish acts.) If he were the one to have actually supported family, I would not mind helping him out. But all the money he made, he blew on himself and because of him, we almost lost our house various times. I feel bad admitting it, but I'm looking forward to the day he croaks. Am I a horrible human?
Well, I want my father to die, but for a different reason. He's in skilled nursing, dealing with alzheimers, a stroke, and stage 4 bladder cancer. It's tough to admit, but I wish he'd have a massive coronary to end his suffering quickly.
OP.....What many people don't realize is that emotional abuse is just as devastating as physical emotionally....You just can't show people the bruises. In some ways that makes emotional abuse worse.
You should go for personal counseling, or find a support group in your area to attend so that you can release some of this anger which would help you.
I think that you should call a local agency, that helps folks with whatever your Dad's condition is and make arrangements for his care....then walk away if that's what you need to do.
Now I'll always have love for my father simply because he's my father but he's always been a disgusting human being and the older I get, the more I'm able to critically think about his horrid behavior. He's never been physically abusive to us but the years of verbal abuse and horrific manipulation tends to corrode any respect that I have for him. He guilt trips me and tells me that I should respect him, but then he goes on a hatred filled tirade and calls me ****** along with other horrible things (I'm gay btw). Now I'm just waiting for the day till he dies so that we can buy his house from the bank and won't have to support him (he took out a reverse mortgage and blew the cash on junk so now has to depend on us, another one of his selfish acts.) If he were the one to have actually supported family, I would not mind helping him out. But all the money he made, he blew on himself and because of him, we almost lost our house various times. I feel bad admitting it, but I'm looking forward to the day he croaks. Am I a horrible human?
Why are you supporting him?
If you are supporting him, why does he call you names?
if he calls you names, why are you supporting him?
You talk about him losing 'our' house. Is this your house? Did you buy it? Do you own it? Did you build it? Did you pay the mortgage for 30 years?
It was your dad's house. He couldn't have taken out a reverse mortgage without your mother's signature if she was on the title
In fact, he couldn't have taken out a reverse mortgage if your name was on the title.
To me, it sounds like it was his house.
What he did with it was his business. He has an obligation to support you until you turn 18 and that's it. Support means housing and food. He is responsible for a portion of your support until you become of age and then his responsibility is over.
I don't understand the sense of entitlement. When you grow up then your parents business and belongings is none of your concern. Your fathers house was never yours.
If you live there you might pay rent. That is not supporting your father, that is supporting yourself.
I think it is really bad to wish your father dead. You should put that in his next birthday card.
You talk about him losing 'our' house. Is this your house? Did you buy it? Do you own it? Did you build it? Did you pay the mortgage for 30 years?
It was your dad's house. He couldn't have taken out a reverse mortgage without your mother's signature if she was on the title
In fact, he couldn't have taken out a reverse mortgage if your name was on the title.
To me, it sounds like it was his house.
What he did with it was his business. He has an obligation to support you until you turn 18 and that's it. Support means housing and food. He is responsible for a portion of your support until you become of age and then his responsibility is over.
I don't understand the sense of entitlement. When you grow up then your parents business and belongings is none of your concern. Your fathers house was never yours.
If you live there you might pay rent. That is not supporting your father, that is supporting yourself.
I think it is really bad to wish your father dead. You should put that in his next birthday card.
Yes, but it's different to take out a reverse mortgage, spend all the money and they expect your son to support you financially, which is what it sounds like happened.
My parents aren't in my life really, but sometimes I wonder if I would feel a lot better when they pass on...I don't feel guilty for that. I don't know how I will feel until it happens. But...it does feel like I would finally have closure from their abuse.
Yes, but it's different to take out a reverse mortgage, spend all the money and they expect your son to support you financially, which is what it sounds like happened.
Exactly. And it was never just his house. My mom got screwed in the divorce after she was the one who paid most of the mortgage payments and spending her own money remodeling the place. He ended up getting the house after refusing to sign the divorce papers and my mom wanted out asap so she conceded the house
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