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No just saying maybe I could a lady friend and I said dating is costly and that's when she said what if she is gainfully employed? I explained that I just have friends I see on ocassions but nothing too serious
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
So...she was trying to have a conversation with you.
A normal, friendly conversation.
Based on what YOU brought up and per YOUR parameters.
OMG.
THAT B*TCH.
Why on earth do you even associate with these people...
Renter I do like you mate but JerZ is right mate and there's no malice whatsoever in that.
Do you think that you have just got the wrong end of the stick?
Yes, it's hard to tell. I guess I'm seeing it more from the OP's perspective.
But there's another note here I just thought of. If he had just told the co-worker he'd been through a relocation to their city, why would he be expected to have a girlfriend, anyway? Maybe this is just the way some people banter, but it seems a bit persistent. Oh well. I have no idea. But I'm also viewing it in the broader context of his office-mates lecturing him daily on the nutritional/health pitfalls of his lunch choices. His annoyance had already been building for awhile.
I know LOL .... We'll all end up in a straight jacket speculating on this!! LOL
Yes, it's hard to tell. I guess I'm seeing it more from the OP's perspective.
But there's another note here I just thought of. If he had just told the co-worker he'd been through a relocation to their city, why would he be expected to have a girlfriend, anyway? Maybe this is just the way some people banter, but it seems a bit persistent. Oh well. I have no idea. But I'm also viewing it in the broader context of his office-mates lecturing him daily on the nutritional/health pitfalls of his lunch choices. His annoyance had already been building for awhile.
I must have missed the part where he was being lectured daily. My understanding was this was a one-time event.
It's really difficult for me to see this as anything other than her attempt to gather some information about him and whether or not he was available. The fact that he is new to the area kinda reinforces that supposition, don't you think?
Question then to the OP - do you know if the person you are dealing with is single? Is she near your age?
Yes, it's hard to tell. I guess I'm seeing it more from the OP's perspective.
But there's another note here I just thought of. If he had just told the co-worker he'd been through a relocation to their city, why would he be expected to have a girlfriend, anyway? Maybe this is just the way some people banter, but it seems a bit persistent. Oh well. I have no idea. But I'm also viewing it in the broader context of his office-mates lecturing him daily on the nutritional/health pitfalls of his lunch choices. His annoyance had already been building for awhile.
He wouldn't be expected to have a girlfriend this soon, Ruth, you are right, and that's the whole point. I could just be reading into this (then again, we all are...we weren't there), but it SOUNDS to me like all this was fishing around to bring up the subject of girlfriends, either because this woman want(ed) to go out with the OP herself but was afraid to ask him out, or because perhaps there's another interested party at the office and she was asking on her behalf.
None of it fits "logically" - a girlfriend cooking lunches (maybe??? I don't know of any girlfriends who dutifully cook lunch for their boyfriends and send them in to work with the boyfriend every day), as you said the assumption of a girlfriend already...for those reasons it SOUNDS (I could be wrong) much more like flirting and/or an attempt to bring up dating, than real actual criticisms.
It sounds like playful "I'm feeling you out because I like you (or because I know of someone who likes you)" banter.
But it doesn't matter, because I'm sure she's learned her lesson by now and unless the OP once again confronts her about this subject, I'll bet she just shuts up and never brings it up again. So there's that, anyway.
I guess we'll see.
As for the sodium content thing, he claims that's all the woman and that it's every single day. I have no idea what to make of that. That seems to be separate from this one woman and the girlfriend comments, though. I have no idea why they keep talking about the salt in this guy's lunches. But again, according to what the OP originally said, that's "all" the women. Who on earth knows what that's all about, unless they think it's become their running joke/easy thing to say when you don't know what else to say in the lunch room with the one dude who's obviously uncomfortable with most forms of conversation. Sometimes people stick with what they think is "working," especially with someone they don't really understand/someone who doesn't seem to want to be friends but is standing right there so you have to say SOMETHING. I don't know, just trying to play the scenario out in my head and think about how I would feel and how I might react.
Renter I do like you mate but JerZ is right mate and there's no malice whatsoever in that.
Do you think that you have just got the wrong end of the stick?
Yes, true, no malice, but it's still getting a bit personal in the office. I've never worked in an office where people took an interest in co-workers' personal life. Everyone observed professional boundaries in that regard. And to actually say in front of the group, "Poor guy. He doesn't have a girlfriend"? IDK, that seems a bit much.
Throwing a pity party for him just because one deduces from his microwave lunches that he's unattached (?!) is far-fetched and a bit inappropriate, imo. What if he actually did have a gf? She would have been lying about him to the entire office. Seriously, people? OK, he can shrug it off this one time. As I advised before, he should forget about it unless "Aunt Millie" or someone else brings it up again and puts him on the spot in front of an audience.
I must have missed the part where he was being lectured daily. My understanding was this was a one-time event.
It's really difficult for me to see this as anything other than her attempt to gather some information about him and whether or not he was available. The fact that he is new to the area kinda reinforces that supposition, don't you think?
Question then to the OP - do you know if the person you are dealing with is single? Is she near your age?
The daily thing wasn't this "girlfriend/cook lunches" thing, as I understand it. That one woman making that one comment...and then the OP confronting her at her desk about it later...was a one-time thing, as far as I can tell.
The daily lecturing is apparently on the part of all the women in the office and is regarding the sodium in his lunches...that one is a puzzle to me...I am really not sure what's up with that but it's a separate issue, as far as I can tell.
I really think these women are just hunting for anything at all to say to this guy (with the exception of the one girl who tried to take things to a more friendly/playful level but I'll bet she's learned her lesson now)...if I had to take a really wild-assumption guess I'd say they have no idea what else to say to him, he doesn't really seem like the easiest guy to make small talk with anyway, TBH. So they're sticking with this "formula" to pass the few minutes that they all have to be in the same room together. Talk about the dude's lunch, pass those few minutes as painlessly as possible. Just a guess, mind you.
Yes, true, no malice, but it's still getting a bit personal in the office. I've never worked in an office where people took an interest in co-workers' personal life. Everyone observed professional boundaries in that regard. And to actually say in front of the group, "Poor guy. He doesn't have a girlfriend"? IDK, that seems a bit much.
Throwing a pity party for him just because one deduces from his microwave lunches that he's unattached (?!) is far-fetched and a bit inappropriate, imo. What if he actually did have a gf? She would have been lying about him to the entire office. Seriously, people? OK, he can shrug it off this one time. As I advised before, he should forget about it unless "Aunt Millie" or someone else brings it up again and puts him on the spot in front of an audience.
I think she was embarrassed. I think she expected the comment to open up a conversation about boyfriends/girlfriends and then perhaps lead to something more. Then he walked out and left her there and she stood there wanting to die, so she tried quickly to make a joke about it/cover for why she'd brought the subject up (before being dumped and left standing there feeling like a total rejected idiot). This is of course going on the assumption that other people aren't necessarily social geniuses either; in life there are comparatively few skilled social butterflies v. a whole lot of us who aren't sure of ourselves 100% of the time. Especially if embarrassed, we are way more likely to stumble socially (as it seems this woman did...again, just a guess).
Seems more logical, anyway, as a scenario than: she's just a mean-spirited person who for all these other conversations was apparently nice, then for no reason at all turned around with her talons out to attack and humiliate this guy in the lunch room randomly.
I have had co-workers get personal, to an extent, after some time of association with them. I pretty much thought it was natural...I always called it making friends.
It sounds like playful "I'm feeling you out because I like you (or because I know of someone who likes you)" banter.
Yeah, that was my initial reaction. The OP hasn't given us any further info about this co-worker, though--her approximate age would tell us whether it was flirting or not. Same age as OP? Older? We have no clue. But he commented that if it was flirting, most people flirt more privately, not in front of a crowd of people. If she'd wanted to flirt, she could have done it on any one of the all the other days when the lunchroom was almost empty. IDK, it's just a little odd. More info needed.
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LOL 
