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I'm at home day 6 of a pretty bad cold. And a friend just called, and after I told him I felt like crap, seemed like he couldn't get off the phone quick enough for fear I would ask him to get me something.
it's not like I really need anything, I can't do anything except wait this out. but it would be nice to be asked if I would like some orange juice. It would make me feel cared about.
I always ask if there is anything I can do when a friend tells me they don't feel well. Do they need anything.
I guess some people don't think of it, or maybe they assume if you want something, you'll ask.
Some people I know DO offer, but this one guy never does.
maybe people think someone else is helping me out...
It depends on the situation. It really depends how close you are. How far away is he? I would not expect someone who is 20 miles away from me to get me oj. Does he expect your help in situations? If he does and it is always one sided than I would consider him a user.
If you are at my house eating as a guest I do not "expect" help but if you are a family member I don't think I should have to ask. To me it is common courtesy to ask if someone needs anything or help. Not all people think that way.
It depends on the situation. It really depends how close you are. How far away is he? I would not expect someone who is 20 miles away from me to get me oj. Does he expect your help in situations? If he does and it is always one sided than I would consider him a user.
If you are at my house eating as a guest I do not "expect" help but if you are a family member I don't think I should have to ask. To me it is common courtesy to ask if someone needs anything or help. Not all people think that way.
BTW, feel better
thank you!
I haven't had a cold in years, and this one is a doozy. I seem to feel worse rather than better day by day.
yeah this friend lives about 15 minutes away, I wanted the offer more than I really needed the oj.
I've been alone for several days with this cold, so I am feeling sorry for myself.
a lot of people who know me think i have so many friends - actually I have many acquaintances.
yeah I often reach out without being asked, bec. many people do not like to ask.
Where I live (Senior Housing) we got vouchers to get free produce at the farmers market. The woman who was in line after me uses a walker and she is 90 years old and doesn't see so well, so I offered to take her to the market.
It is common courtesy I agree. Esp. when it is not such a big deal to me, but can be a big help to the other person.
I'm at home day 6 of a pretty bad cold. And a friend just called, and after I told him I felt like crap, seemed like he couldn't get off the phone quick enough for fear I would ask him to get me something.
Some people I know DO offer, but this one guy never does.
Yeah... well... he's a guy. LOL Most of my guy friends don't have that instinct like women do to nurture. What he knew to do was get off the phone so you could go back to resting. Perhaps he wanted to hang out last minute and when you said you were sick his purpose of calling was voided.
Sorry for making generalizations about men - haha. I am just speaking from my own experience and seeing how different my female friends are from my guy friends.
If I was sick, my girl BFF would be over in a minute.
If I needed a flat tire fixed, my guy BFF would be the first to offer help.
But to answer your question, I would hope someone would offer to help but if they don't and I really needed something then I have no problem asking.
Hope you are feeling better! Let me know if there is anything I can do. LOL
It's a known fact the common cold is a virus which are contagious so perhaps that's what he's afraid of. To help you get better eat a hoagie (sub) & pile on the onions, or make a pasta sauce & include lots of onions & garlic. Onions & garlic are natural anti-viral vegetables. Gargle with Cool Mint Listerine 2x daily which is a antiseptic, not a mouthwash & don't dilute it.
I usually never ask anyone to help me with anything. I pay for any help I need when it comes to my house or yard or taking care of my pet. I don't even ask for someone to give me a ride to the airport; I'm very sensitive about not putting people out because people really do not want to be put on the spot and I know this. I drive myself to the long term parking and take the shuttle to the airport. I paid my neighbor to blow my leaves out to the curb last year and I hope I can hire him again this December; he's retired but doing various little service type jobs.
As for illness, I think there's only been 1 time when I asked someone (next door neighbor) for some ginger ale and saltine crackers if she had any, and then also to watch my dog for a few hours at her place because I was so sick and my dog was in my face and was a bit freaked out. Other than that, I don't recall asking anyone for anything. I do offer to assist others if they need help -- like go get them some soup or fluids or meds if they are sick.
I'm at home day 6 of a pretty bad cold. And a friend just called, and after I told him I felt like crap, seemed like he couldn't get off the phone quick enough for fear I would ask him to get me something.
it's not like I really need anything, I can't do anything except wait this out. but it would be nice to be asked if I would like some orange juice. It would make me feel cared about.
I always ask if there is anything I can do when a friend tells me they don't feel well. Do they need anything.
I guess some people don't think of it, or maybe they assume if you want something, you'll ask.
Some people I know DO offer, but this one guy never does.
maybe people think someone else is helping me out...
or perhaps he assumed it's a cold and your an adult, so you can deal with it.
I know when I have a cold, I want to be left alone, and he probably figured you wanted the same thing.
My daughter, 42, single, and living in another state, has a medical condition that she deals with everyday but which occasionally makes her quite ill and home alone. I am eternally grateful to the co-worker or neighbor who will bring her soup or something while she can't fend for herself. I don't think they even realize what a good deed that is, and no, my daughter doesn't ask for help so it's especially appreciated that they think to do this on their own. This mother is grateful.
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