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i think my view might be a little different if there was a 100 pct chance this guy would be brought up on charges and or be put in jail or lose his kid to child services....BUT the odds of something happening would be almost zero, this guy would just say i didnt hit anyone and the kid would say 'nobody hit me' and then the 'authorities' would leave and there you are, getting nothing at all out of your 'hero' move. that's the problem, nothing would likely be done and you just put yourself in a position to have to worry about retribution, you would be the loser in all of this.
The other day, I saw a neighbor slap a kid I believe is his son across the face such that the kid's head hit the vehicle he was standing next to. I heard the slap, and the thunk. They were standing in the middle of the street. I was on a phone call for work in the middle of a conversation (I water my garden during meetings) and I was literally speechless. I wanted to call the cops and report what happened.
But self-preservation stopped me for a number of reasons.
1) I was the only person on the street and in full view when they drove by moments later. None of the neighbors were outside at all. I know he saw me. I'm the obvious reporter.
2) My friend recently called the cops on his neighbors for dealing drugs in front of his house. They retaliated by making false accusations against him and he spent a week in jail until he could provide proof of his innocence. If he hadn't had surveillance videotape of the spot where the encounter supposedly took place, he was looking at possibly 15 years in jail. I don't want that to happen to me.
3) This guy is a hunter - I know he has guns. I'm in Colorado - there are guns everywhere. We've had a number of gun-related incidents in my neighborhood, and I've even had lifelong residents of the state tell me that people are more polite here than on the east coast because you never know who's armed.
4) I have dogs, as does my roommate. This guy could just drop some poisoned meat over the back fence if he wanted to as retaliation. The dogs are never unsupervised for long in the yard, but I can't make sure they don't eat something that's just lying on the ground. My dog is also on the scary side (all bark, no bite - but that bark is horrifying) - I know people whose dogs have been shot right in front of them by imbalanced people, and this guy could just say he felt threatened by my dog, and no one would contradict him. Hell, even if you harm an animal, there's usually no legal consequences of any real severity.
5) My roommate has some fairly severe physical disabilities (but is fully mobile nonetheless), and I worry about her safety. This guy is a bully, and she's an obvious vulnerable target (who has been bullied before).
6) I'm not even sure which kid in the house was the victim. He was facing away from me. Heck, I'm not even sure what happened would be a crime. My mother used to haul off and slap me from time to time, and nobody was going to arrest her over that.
7) Finally, I am going to be out of the country on a long trip very soon, leaving my house, my pets and my roommate alone for that time and possibly vulnerable.
I don't know the guy at all, but he (obviously) seemed like a hothead and the first thing I thought of was all the ways I and members of my household (human and animal) could be retaliated against.
FWIW, my roommate - who wasn't home at the time - thinks I made the right decision. But I'm really brooding over this. The kid barely reacted to the slap, which makes me think it wasn't unusual. And thinking about THAT makes me feel queasy and furious. But when I think about how all the ways this guy could retaliate against me and my household, I'm scared.
" ...The thought it comes to my mind, to somehow intervene
But it could bring me trouble, and what can I do anyway?
It's hard to be effective when it happens so often
To see a life unraveling, through drawn venetian blinds
I'm sickened by compassion, I'm stifled by my limitations
Anesthetic apathy, come take the pain away..."
i think my view might be a little different if there was a 100 pct chance this guy would be brought up on charges and or be put in jail or lose his kid to child services....BUT the odds of something happening would be almost zero, this guy would just say i didnt hit anyone and the kid would say 'nobody hit me' and then the 'authorities' would leave and there you are, getting nothing at all out of your 'hero' move. that's the problem, nothing would likely be done and you just put yourself in a position to have to worry about retribution, you would be the loser in all of this.
I agree, this would put the kid in a very uncomfortable position, and he would most probably not say the truth.
I'm not sure you'd say that if your husband was beating you silly every night.
I tend to like guys smaller than me, ya know like twinks. I'm 6'4, 240lbs, I like my guys about 5'5-5'7 140-60ish. My man thinks about beating me, he'd be lucky if I don't choke slam him in to the kitchen sink. I don't like anger directed towards me, it ticks me off.
The other day, I saw a neighbor slap a kid I believe is his son across the face such that the kid's head hit the vehicle he was standing next to. I heard the slap, and the thunk.
This is surprising -- the number of responses that say this isn't a crime. I could be wrong and someone please correct me if I am, but it's my understanding that this is a clear example of possible child abuse and isn't child abuse a crime in all 50 states? Whoever witnesses an act like this is encouraged to (but not required to) report it to cps or another such public agency, unless that witness is a mandated reporter. If the witness is a mandated reporter then he or she is required to report the incident within 36 hours I think. Not reporting can result in loss of employment, a fine, and/or up to six months behind bars. These are the rules for California. Maybe the rules vary from state to state but I thought the concept of child abuse was the same in all.
Anyway Op I think you did what was right for you in a tough situation. At least you show concern for the child. Not everyone would.
This is surprising -- the number of responses that say this isn't a crime. I could be wrong and someone please correct me if I am, but it's my understanding that this is a clear example of possible child abuse and isn't child abuse a crime in all 50 states? Whoever witnesses an act like this is encouraged to (but not required to) report it to cps or another such public agency, unless that witness is a mandated reporter. If the witness is a mandated reporter then he or she is required to report the incident within 36 hours I think. Not reporting can result in loss of employment, a fine, and/or up to six months behind bars. These are the rules for California. Maybe the rules vary from state to state but I thought the concept of child abuse was the same in all.
Anyway Op I think you did what was right for you in a tough situation. At least you show concern for the child. Not everyone would.
There is a big difference between reasonable corporal punishment used in disciplining a child, and child abuse. Every state recognizes that difference.
There is a big difference between reasonable corporal punishment used in disciplining a child, and child abuse. Every state recognizes that difference.
Thank goodness they do.
I wonder which states would classify this, "The other day, I saw a neighbor slap a kid I believe is his son across the face such that the kid's head hit the vehicle he was standing next to. I heard the slap, and the thunk.", as reasonable corporal punishment used in disciplining a child.
I wonder which states would classify this, "The other day, I saw a neighbor slap a kid I believe is his son across the face such that the kid's head hit the vehicle he was standing next to. I heard the slap, and the thunk.", as reasonable corporal punishment used in disciplining a child.
I don't know.
And neither do we know what actually happened. Armchair quarterbacking a situation that we didn't witness may be an interesting intellectual exercise, but it is unlikely to change people's minds about the issue.
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