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Old 08-21-2016, 10:02 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,099,791 times
Reputation: 32726

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Quote:
Originally Posted by renter16 View Post
This is a forum for family discussion and if this topic doesn't interest you then read a different one.
Ya, maybe I should. I don't understand why you started a thread to talk about vibes, then several posts in, casually mentioned that they changed plans on you. That's the problem, not the "vibes."
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:08 AM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,023,256 times
Reputation: 427
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Ya, maybe I should. I don't understand why you started a thread to talk about vibes, then several posts in, casually mentioned that they changed plans on you. That's the problem, not the "vibes."

It was the negative vibes and cancelled family trip
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
4,053 posts, read 8,235,236 times
Reputation: 8040
Quote:
Originally Posted by I love boots. View Post
OK this may change what I originally thought. So, you mom is sending texts that are junk? That's annoying so I understand why that doesn't get a response, but explain why there are a group of people upset at this cousin. I would bet it isn't likely that all of them just send out junk all the time.

In most cases contact deserves an answer. Especially from older relatives. Make allowances for older people. For example, my mom is in her eighties and doesn't text. I accept that and out of respect I call her every single time. Ignoring older people all the time is inexcusable and rude. Answer personal messages(not junk) from everyone no matter what form they are in. That is common courtesy.
This ^^^ My mother has cancer. It has become very difficult for her to operate her phone. She prefers talking on the phone. Texting exhausts her.

Younger people need to know that it can't be all about them all the time. If the aunts send a junk text, it may be an attempt to start a real conversation. Can't you all just respond with, "Hey Aunt___, how are you?"

Take the high road.
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:24 AM
 
Location: On the phone
1,225 posts, read 628,906 times
Reputation: 2430
Quote:
Originally Posted by renter16 View Post
I want to avoid being around negativity in the future and after last night I need to be away from them for a while.
Sounds like you have a passive aggressive family, but I'm sure you knew that prior to the birthday party.
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:27 AM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,103,864 times
Reputation: 62664
It is clear your cousin has not made it easy for older family members to stay in contact with her so she has chosen how they treat her.
If you do not want to see your family the rest of the year then don't but do not blame them for your choice.
Their behavior toward the cousin has nothing to do with you so stay out of their issues that they need to work through.
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:29 AM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,574,545 times
Reputation: 36267
Quote:
Originally Posted by renter16 View Post
I also tried to explain to my mom that when texting someone you must say to yourself

1. Is this text relevant to the person?

2. Is this something to respond to?



Not just sending someone a photo of a celebrity who just had a birthday. My mom doesn't understand that texting is not instant messaging and a response may not come until the person gets ready to respond. I also explained to her that I have sent text to friends that never got a response and I was like..."maybe it was not that interesting. lol
IDK how old you are, but you have some very odd ideas about communication. Which is sad and explains why things are so screwed up these days.

Is this text relevant to the person? How self absorbed can you be? How about the person who sent it.

So in your mind you only respond to what you think is important, not the person sending it?

You don't need to explain anything to your mom, you need to learn how to communicate and some manners.

BTW, you know phones can be used to make....wait for it....phone calls, you know actual human interaction.
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:29 AM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,023,256 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maiden_fern View Post
Sounds like you have a passive aggressive family, but I'm sure you knew that prior to the birthday party.

I knew my mom was that way which is why I put her spam.
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:33 AM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,023,256 times
Reputation: 427
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
IDK how old you are, but you have some very odd ideas about communication. Which is sad and explains why things are so screwed up these days.

Is this text relevant to the person? How self absorbed can you be? How about the person who sent it.

So in your mind you only respond to what you think is important, not the person sending it?

You don't need to explain anything to your mom, you need to learn how to communicate and some manners.

BTW, you know phones can be used to make....wait for it....phone calls, you know actual human interaction.

That's what I do call her on the phone since her text messages are not really anything of interest. And yes I do think you need to send a text message that is interesting if you want quicker responses. Plus you cannot treat text messages like emails and sent long text with 3 paragraphs because most people is not going to read all of that.
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:37 AM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,574,545 times
Reputation: 36267
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
This ^^^ My mother has cancer. It has become very difficult for her to operate her phone. She prefers talking on the phone. Texting exhausts her.

Younger people need to know that it can't be all about them all the time. If the aunts send a junk text, it may be an attempt to start a real conversation. Can't you all just respond with, "Hey Aunt___, how are you?"

Take the high road.
But you see it is all about therm.

The OP thinks she knows more than people that have been around longer than she has. Because you see she has a smart phone, and the phone tells her everything.

She has to explain so many things to her poor mother, because it's not like the woman has more life experience, or gotten married, given birth, and raised children,

No, the OP knows much more than she does.
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Southern Quebec
1,433 posts, read 1,503,042 times
Reputation: 2231
I'm glad that apart from Mr. Daynet and SIL who lives in California, and some relatives of mine who live on the left coast of Canada and in Europe, safely far away, we don't have any family apart from our pet birds. I really am. I couldn't take drama like that.

I feel for you. I read all sorts of horror stories on a site about family members, especially the dreaded mother-in-law!

If I had family members who annoyed me I would slowly cut them out of my life. Life is short, and I don't want toxic people to be a part of my life.

This also applies to friends and acquaintances, any humanoid irritant.
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