I missed out on the alcohol fueled raging college experience and it frustrates me, advice? (father, house)
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I didn't get that experience either; started college at age 18 with a 9th grade education & an 8 month old, graduated at age 22, 9 months pregnant with my 4th.
Not many kegger opportunities for me either. And yes, I did wonder what I had missed but it wasn't all-consuming or anything.
That being said; I wonder why trouble doesn't "find" you? I have never had to work at that; trouble finds me! If I wasn't the "Old woman who lived in a Shoe" I'd be running the streets for sure.
A note on the kind of friends you can party & run wild with; those kinds of people are rarely "real" friends. They are "in it" for themselves & they like it when others fall to their level because it makes them feel better about themselves. They will only hang around for as long as you are paying.
If you were to overdose or get too wasted they would roll you onto someones front lawn & leave you there. They are not real friends; don't seek them out! Those kinds of people would chew you up & spit you out in a heartbeat.
One big part of the Greek life is the fact that the kids are caught in the delicious limbo of getting to party and go wild, but mom and dad (or Uncle Sam) are footing the bill. The freedom to party and meet people and spend hours of time on the frivolous, while only having to keep up perhaps 20 hours of actual studying and class attendance is, honestly, a pretty great deal. I certainly enjoyed it. (Yes, someone called Booger Branch Betty was a Sorority girl at a small private university somewhere up North. In fact I wore pearls and penny loafers and spent considerable amounts of time in fraternity basements).
I am, however, going to agree to an extent with people here and say that the frat scene does have a dark side. I regret hearing that more than one of my friends lost her virginity while in a black-out drunk. I regret that more than one kid at my school nearly died of alcohol poisoning. I regret that so many kids I knew failed out because of the inability to keep the social activities to only a few nights a week. I regret that so many of us turned up in class in no real shape to pay attention to the Professors who were getting paid to share their life's passion with us.
What I do not regret is meeting some great life-long friends, among them my husband of 25 years.
Alas OP, at the age of 25, that ship has sailed unless you are independently wealthy and won't have work time infringing on your fun time. Perhaps you can try joining a soccer club, or better yet a rugby club. Lots of camaraderie, a physical outlet that will certainly provide an excellent rush of adrenaline, and the beer soaked and boisterous after game gatherings where you can probably act a bit the fool without it seeming too out of place.
and end up even more depressed at 40 because I didn't have fun in life at least once? Jeez, what is your beef with people like me wanting to get wasted and have fun in life? Why are you giving such horrible advice?
I don't care if it kills me, it is a lifestyle I just have to have.
Then why ask for opinions here? Just freakin' do it.
ya well I am a millenial, not a gen x or baby boomer
looks like I stumbled on to the wrong forum, this must be the parenting forum where everyone is against people having fun in life
No, we're just against acting stupid. What you want to do is stupid. If you think getting drunk, passing out, puking all day, is having fun, then you definitely need help.
Um, I spent my college years studying and my biggest partying after I had graduated. My cousins, who do not have degrees and never attended college with any sort of consistency, spent their time partying and never left our hometown. You don't need college to have a wild time of it. The parties my cousins threw and went to were definitely on the epic side.
Your longing is frankly ridiculous and pointless. What are you trying to escape with your desperation to spend a lot of time wasted? Don't you have friends that you can party with now? And if not, why do you think it would be different in college?
Only a small amount of people in college act like that and do that. It just isn't like that for so many people. I mean, you got to go...thats something.
I went to college on a scholarship for a degree in engineering and had a 4.0 grade average. Never have been intoxicated once in my life. In fact I never had sex or used drugs either. Now I am almost 50 and have no regrets. The guys I know who were party animals all seem to have health issues and most are saddled with kids, divorce, debt etc. meanwhile I feel just as good as I did in college, have no gray hair or wrinkles and still never drink smoke or have sex.
A key lingering issue in my mind is by the time I get the finances and opportunities to move to a big city where that lifestyle is acceptable, I am going to have a tough time living that sort of life because I will be too old for it.
I also fear having a tough time making friends who want to take part in that lifestyle because from what I read, it is impossible to find people in their late 20s and 30s who want to get wasted, rage, and party hard.
It's just consuming my thoughts so much because I just want to live that lifestyle for at least a year so I can knock it off my bucket list. So many of these days I wish I had friends who wanted to get wasted with me, party with me, live that sort of a life with me but for the love of god I cannot find friends like these.
Help me please, I am lost.
There are A LOT of people in their late 20s and 30s who still live that lifestyle (even 40s here in Socal :/). They are just typically easier to find in big cities where people settle down later. Or go to work in the restaurant/bar industry--seems to attract a lot of those types. (Yes, this is a broad generalization but I've found it largely true.) If you truly want to do it you're not too old, but a year of party-raging is a dangerous goal to have.
I understand the feeling of having missed out on the so-called "rite of passage." I felt the same about my high school and college experiences and spent my late 20s/early 30s making up for it. But I think you're missing the fact that the "alcohol-fueled" part is really not desirable. You missed the horror stories of flunking out, getting DUIs, or worse. Be grateful for that.
It seems like you may not just be longing for the party aspect of college life that you missed but also for some connection or entertainment.
You're 25. <bleep> You might've missed the fraternity train, but you don't need to be in a frat to get blackout wasted. I've been blackout wasted before, many times actually, and I never joined a fraternity. Go to a<bleep> bar and take shots. I call bs on that your friends don't want to go to bars, you must be hanging out with the wrong types of people because most 25 year olds I know use any opportunity they can to go to bars
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-29-2016 at 09:07 PM..
Reason: language filter
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