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"I'm so used to being on my own, that I've found enjoyable ways to spend my time and now other people are more of a hassle than a comfort. I'm good with phone calls to keep in touch and the occasional get together, but mostly I'm on my own. Sounds like I'm not the only one."
Same here; I've come to like my own company just fine, thank you! Not entirely convinced that this is a bad thing, necessarily...
There has been a lot written about how the Internet is making us more lonely.
It could be true. But then if you go back and look - I just did - throughout the modern era people have written books about how lonely people are.
maybe it is due to the characteristic of modern times, such as:
- we don't have much community any more. we don't know our neighbors.
- families move away
When I think about parents and grandparents much revolved around two things... family/extended family and their congregation...
Only to be expected when family is scattered and many congregations shrinking...
I did not read every post due to the many pages. I take it you are single, OP? That would definitely make for lonelier times. I have been married for most of my adult life, and my husband is my best friend. While I myself am outgoing and extroverted and love to meet people, I am at heart a loner; and many of the activities I enjoy are done by myself. I do love to go out and meet new people and make new friendly acquaintances. I guess the difference is in how I view what a "friend" is in today's world. I have friends that moved away that never keep in touch but they will be friends in my heart forever. The people I know now that I feel closest to all have busy, busy lives, we tend to keep in touch via Facebook; we don't call or text each other. Sometimes we see each other a lot but then go months with nothing.
I think you have to reach out; join activity groups that you like and start asking people about themselves. Sooner or later you should make some friends. Honestly analyze how you may be projecting to people: are you coming on too strong? Too needy or maybe arrogant? I am not saying you are any of those things because of course I don't know you. But if you are finding it difficult to make friends there is a reason, so you may need to look within yourself.
Good luck to you! Get out there and step outside your comfort zone!
You're not alone these days. It seems more and more people have posted they have no friends, and I myself am also in the same spot with no friends. The last time I had friends was highschool, save some very brief friendships that broke up due to me or my friend moving out of the area.
I'm personally more introverted, but I find it very hard to make friends as an adult. (I'm in my late twenties). Either people just want to go to bars and drink, or they don't want to bother with hanging out at all. A lot of people say they are too busy with work or their spouse/children, or they have a very small and close knit group of friends they had forever and they aren't interested in new relationships. The few brief friendships I've had over the years took lots of stepping out of my comfort zone to find (things like meetup groups, local clubs, volunteer groups, etc) and months to cultivate into an actual friendship. I always thought I would meet friends at work, and while I've had some really nice co-workers, I have yet to work with someone near my age. For the last 8 years professionally working, all my co-workers have been mostly women in their 40s and 50s, and some men in their mid 30s to 60s. I always laugh that by the time I get to my mid thirties, THEN I'll probably end up working with twenty year olds....
So I've had to step out to other avenues to find friends, and like I said, it never happened over night. It usually took a semi regular type of thing like a meetup and slowly chatting over weeks over months at each gathering. The worst part to me though was every time I did end up making a good friend, one of us had to to move. I remember I was going to a technical school in Arizona and I had just made some really awesome friends near the end of the 9 month program. Then we all moved out of state for jobs. Then after about 1.5 years at my first job, I slowly had made a couple friends from various avenues, but I had to relocate for a new job due to being laid off. Then I lived in Texas for a year and made a really great friend (we actually hung out once or twice a week), but he had been laid off his job and had to relocate.... All this has made me reluctant to make new friends, but I do really wish I could have friends.
No, I won't. I've always been a loner. I have a couple of cousins who will dispose of my estate, what's left of it anyway.
I have always preferred doing things alone. I don't think a casual friend will take my husband's place. That time in my life will be over and it will be the time to be alone again, like when I was single.
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