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A friend of mine is in her mid 30s, has 2 young kids, is going through a divorce and is dating a guy in recovery. He is unemployed and had relapsed several times. Her ex husband also had drug issues which had led to their divorce. I havent said anything to her as i dont feel it's my business but i am worried for her and her kids. She brings the kids around him frequently but i guess they are all used to this as their dad had issues.
I feel she must have some mental issues to be attracted to these types of men. One time ok, 2nd time...what are you thinking? Especially with kids.
Bad idea. Nothing you can do but suggest some counseling in a non-threatening way. As in " have you considered al-anon so you can better help your new boyfriend and your kds get through this?"
Let them talk her out of this disastrous decision.
I always found that type. Active drug users weren't my type but people with a past, or underachievers. It has to do with early programming.
I went to al-anon briefly and I got the message to fish or cut-bait. I took option number 2 in that case.
I don't do this on purpose but I can't help it. I know I am like this so I take precautions and that means proceeding with caution, or not at all.
People have their quirks. If you scratch the surface you will find that everybody has issues. You can call it mental illness but if they are otherwise functional then it is not considered mental illness.
You can't do anything about your friend. She is going to make her own choices and sometimes you can make a gold purse out of a sows ear.
Dating right after a divorce is rebound dating. It probably won't last but you have to rebound at some point so you can move on.
I have seen it work out with the rebound relationship but it is rare. I would rather date a person in "recovery" then a person who
is going through a divorce.
Last edited by Veronicka; 09-11-2016 at 12:02 PM..
I couldnt imagine dating someone in recovery-particularly for hard drugs and that is what this guy is in recovery for. The fact that she is going through a divorce with someone who is in recovery AND has 2 kids just seems stupid. I know people are not perfect but come on. She should be looking for a provider if anything, not a user.
Even if he never does drugs again it just seems like a strange time on both their parts to start a relationship. She's right on the rebound, he's trying to get clean and then there's the poor kids. Im not sure what they see in each other. I guess drama seeks drama.
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