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You dated 3 1/2 months, not 3 1/2 years. You need to grow up.
Yeah, I kept having to go back and re-read the original post while reading all the responses (especially the OP's). They barely dated. It's not like they built a life together. They barely had enough time to figure out if they liked the same foods.
Which isn't to say that a brief fling can't be intense, but...
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxblue20
The issue is not that we don't get along. It's that I still love my ex and miss her, and I feel like seeing her there would kill me. She is ok with being around me since her feelings are gone, but I am not ok with being around her. She had only said yes when I asked her out because she was so sick of being single, and once we went on one date, she developed romantic feelings for me that only got stronger throughout our relationship. Then they were gone, and I can't bounce back from that so easily.
You definitely need to stay no contact since you still have feelings for her. That means skipping this party. Give the host a good gift but apologize you can't attend. Don't put yourself in a position to up.
You definitely need to stay no contact since you still have feelings for her. That means skipping this party. Give the host a good gift but apologize you can't attend. Don't put yourself in a position to up.
I intend to stay no contact until my feelings are completely gone, if they ever are. I don't care that you guys say it's a "brief fling" and most of you guys have been so unsupportive of me, saying I need to grow up. A lot happened between us in the 3.5 months that we dated, we did many romantic things together, and it felt like we had been together for years because we already had such a great connection from our friendship, and in the beginning she told me it was the best relationship she had ever been in. I miss her and our relationship greatly.
I'm sure you are still pining. It's where you are.
How many times will this person retire?
Sounds like you do have an opportunity to consider a person you regard, and attend out of due respect. If you really just know them from a mild social level... Then I can see you wishing to refrain.
I think folks are asking you to step out and enjoy the evening celebration, instead of pining. Sometimes you will find that attending a function where "one" person is not on amicable terms doesn't supercede the honoree who's event this is being held for.
Look at the overall good instead of focusing in on one attendee.
I'm sure you are still pining. It's where you are.
How many times will this person retire?
Sounds like you do have an opportunity to consider a person you regard, and attend out of due respect. If you really just know them from a mild social level... Then I can see you wishing to refrain.
I think folks are asking you to step out and enjoy the evening celebration, instead of pining. Sometimes you will find that attending a function where "one" person is not on amicable terms doesn't supercede the honoree who's event this is being held for.
Look at the overall good instead of focusing in on one attendee.
I will just send a gift and say I'm sorry I couldn't attend. It won't be a big deal for her.
Put your big boy panties on, hold your head up high and just go. Have fun.
I agree! You dated for 3 months, not 3 years. Time to move on. I know it hurts, but I'd go anyway and be the bigger person. Say "Hi" and keep moving. Nothing more. At least go for an hour then leave if you want.
I intend to stay no contact until my feelings are completely gone, if they ever are. I don't care that you guys say it's a "brief fling" and most of you guys have been so unsupportive of me, saying I need to grow up. A lot happened between us in the 3.5 months that we dated, we did many romantic things together, and it felt like we had been together for years because we already had such a great connection from our friendship, and in the beginning she told me it was the best relationship she had ever been in. I miss her and our relationship greatly.
Don't worry about what others think. You are grieving the loss of a friendship and a love relationship. You have a right to feel like you do.
I hope that you can come to some peaceful closure soon. Do whatever it takes to help you stay emotionally level.....if that includes avoiding places where she will be, do it. You are the only one that you should be concerned about.
If your friends are making you feel like you should just get over it, like some of these posters....Then find some new friends...a change might do you some good. Good luck
One of the lessons you might take from this experience is not to invest yourself so deeply so quickly. 3.5 months is not a long time for a romantic relationship, even if the friendship was there before. You aren't telling us that you guys were friends for nine months and all of that changed overnight. What is more likely is, you had feelings for her for some time and she wanted to see if there was something there worth pursuing.
I say this in response to your indication that the relationship was growing deeper as time went along. What is obvious is that it did not grow for her and she was trying to find someway to let you down easy to retain the friendship. In the next relationship, it would be wise for you to occasionally step back and evaluate what is really happening versus what you want to happen. I don't think you did that here.
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