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She is trying to convince him to want to date her.
...
But the only way she is able to do this is when her male friend drives her over to where he is.
As a chick, I could not even consider dating a guy who didn't have his own ride. Nor would I ever try to hook up with a guy by having a FB drive me over there.
As a chick, I could not even consider dating a guy who didn't have his own ride. Nor would I ever try to hook up with a guy by having a FB drive me over there.
She sounds like a real winner.
ETA: And she's my age! What the...
She keeps on telling my husband and me that she wants a guy to take care of her for the rest of her life. She wants a guy to show her how much he loves her and how much he wants to be with her.
But according to her that guy is not her male friend.
I think you're way too involved where you shouldn't be and shouldn't be giving advice. I also think there may be an ulterior motive. Could it be she's hinting for an invitation to stay at your place and get rides from you?
I think you're way too involved where you shouldn't be and shouldn't be giving advice. I also think there may be an ulterior motive. Could it be she's hinting for an invitation to stay at your place and get rides from you?
My husband and I do not have a car.
Neither one of us drives.
We do not have room for someone else to stay over.
As for her staying over, there is no where she can sleep.
She keeps on telling my husband and me that she wants a guy to take care of her for the rest of her life. She wants a guy to show her how much he loves her and how much he wants to be with her.
But according to her that guy is not her male friend.
She's been watching way too many Disney movies. If she found a guy who would take on the responsibility of supporting her throughout life, he would likely be working 24/7 and then she would complain about being neglected. She should take responsibility for her own situation and stop being a wounded bird.
regardless, I'd suggest you distance yourselves. If she asks for advice again (that she won't follow), tell her it's a good question and recommend she speak to a counselor about it. Her primary Dr. could likely recommend one to her.
Because both of them have asked for his advice over the years regarding this. He gives them the same advice, but they do the opposite.
Then here's how your husband can answer: "My advice is to seek out the advice of a competent professional. I'm sorry, but that excludes me. Have a nice day."
When asked again: "I have told you, repeatedly through the years what my advice is. If you want change, you have to change yourself." Of course, she will follow that up with wanting something more, because she doesn't want to face that she has to do something inconvenient, repeat: "Like I said, I have already advised you numerous times, I can't add any more." Then forcibly change the subject.
This is for the male citydata members as well as the female citydata members.
My husband and I are friends with a couple who met in the 1990's. They became friends and then they dated off and on. When they were friends, the female half would spend the night or several nights at the guy's place while she slept on his couch and he slept in his bed. They would go out to dinner. He would also take her to her doctor appointments.
The same happened when they dated, but the difference was that they were intimate as well.
The most recent time they were dating again was this year. But the female half was not happy how the guy was treating her. So the two of them chose to be friends again.
This is when they asked us for our advice. My husband told both of them that in order for them to be friends, no sleepovers, no going out to dinner alone. Basically no date like behavior.
There is another guy the female is interested in. She is trying to convince him to want to date her. According to her he has been hurt in the past by the women he has dated.
She spends time with him off an on. But the only way she is able to do this is when her male friend drives her over to where he is. And to do this, he has her stay over at his place while sleeping on his couch. He does not want to have to pick her up in the morning to do this, and so he has her stay overnight. Recently she spent 2 nights and one day at his place. She went to visit the guy she wants to date over the weekend, and her guy friend took her to her doctor appointment.
This is frustrating to my husband and me. Both of us have kept our mouths shut.
But how would a guy who wants to date a girl who is a situation like this feel and react?
Same for a girl who wants to date a guy who is in a situation like this as well?
Life is filled with enough drama as it is. Why invite more into your life unnecessarily?
Your friends are immature. And they are essentially pulling you into all this.
I mean, hey, if a friend of mine hits a rough patch, I'll move heaven and earth to help them. But when someone creates a situation such as this due to their lack of wisdom, um, nope.
The only thing I'd say in this situation to either one is that they need to grow the hell up.
This is for the male citydata members as well as the female citydata members.
My husband and I are friends with a couple who met in the 1990's. They became friends and then they dated off and on. When they were friends, the female half would spend the night or several nights at the guy's place while she slept on his couch and he slept in his bed. They would go out to dinner. He would also take her to her doctor appointments.
The same happened when they dated, but the difference was that they were intimate as well.
The most recent time they were dating again was this year. But the female half was not happy how the guy was treating her. So the two of them chose to be friends again.
This is when they asked us for our advice. My husband told both of them that in order for them to be friends, no sleepovers, no going out to dinner alone. Basically no date like behavior.
There is another guy the female is interested in. She is trying to convince him to want to date her. According to her he has been hurt in the past by the women he has dated.
She spends time with him off an on. But the only way she is able to do this is when her male friend drives her over to where he is. And to do this, he has her stay over at his place while sleeping on his couch. He does not want to have to pick her up in the morning to do this, and so he has her stay overnight. Recently she spent 2 nights and one day at his place. She went to visit the guy she wants to date over the weekend, and her guy friend took her to her doctor appointment.
This is frustrating to my husband and me. Both of us have kept our mouths shut.
But how would a guy who wants to date a girl who is a situation like this feel and react?
Same for a girl who wants to date a guy who is in a situation like this as well?
Your guy friend is trying to play "Captain Save-A-H*" (rhymes with Yo). And is being used like a Tool.
I can only assume he is doing this because after everything; he really does want to be more than friends.
Your girl friend is taking advantage of him because he is letting her.
The other guy is really not interested in this girl as a person; but he's not going to say "No" to a piece of a** that just shows up at his doorstep.
Your guy friend is trying to play "Captain Save-A-H*" (rhymes with Yo). And is being used like a Tool.
I can only assume he is doing this because after everything; he really does want to be more than friends.
Your girl friend is taking advantage of him because he is letting her.
The other guy is really not interested in this girl as a person; but he's not going to say "No" to a piece of a** that just shows up at his doorstep.
Just my casual observation/assessment.
I think you've about covered it.
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