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Old 10-29-2016, 07:32 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,242 posts, read 13,754,516 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by browngeek94 View Post
I’m friends with these three siblings. Two sisters & one brother. All three are between in the ages of 30-40. I’m closest to one of the sisters. I’ve known them for nearly 10 years and they all still live at home with their parents. The two sister’s run a sports blog and get opportunities to interview many athletes in baseball, basketball, and football. They don’t get paid for this work. I believe its a hobby and an opportunity for them to get into various celebrity events. The sister I’m closest to works for a health & wellness company. Not sure what the other siblings are doing. I assume they are working. They are all well-adjusted socially. They have tons of friends and frequently meet new people. Far better at it than I am. What baffles me is that they live at home and neither of them drive a car. I would think that given their age they would want more independence, especially the eldest sister. They all want to get married one day but can’t seem to fine anyone of interest. Mainly because they believe (the sisters) that no man is good enough for them. They also live by strict Christian values would only marry someone who shares those values. I don't understand why they won't strike out on their own. It’s not like it would be difficult for them to be successful. Their networking skills are the best I’ve seen.

Many years ago the eldest sister said that she didn’t want to live on her own because its too expensive. Granted, however this is what most normal adults do. What is your opinion on people like this? Could there be something wrong with them emotionally? Do any of you know someone in the same situation? I’m not trying to change them, just curious about their choices especially since they are fully able to take care of themselves. Their parents are very healthy too. So they are aren't caretakers either.
It's trendy to live with parents these days. Pathetic and sad, but it is a trend.
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Old 10-29-2016, 07:42 PM
 
3,137 posts, read 2,686,416 times
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Originally Posted by NDak15 View Post
It's trendy to live with parents these days. Pathetic and sad, but it is a trend.
I don't think it's pathetic and sad at all. I also don't think it's trendy. I think it's often done for a while out of necessity or sometimes practicality. I dated a guy who lived at home until he was 30. He worked and saved his money and bought a house when he moved out. He had a good job (engineer) the whole time he lived at home. Now has a nice home of his own. What's sad about that?
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Old 10-29-2016, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
11,119 posts, read 5,534,002 times
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This is a trend you'll be seeing more often, as the cost-of-living continues to spiral upward, much faster than most incomes. When I was a kid, it cost 5 cents to ride our city bus. Today, the fare is $1.75 and double that, if you need to ride on more than one route. Around here, state college tuition has risen 6 times more than the general COL. Many younger people, even those with good jobs, may have no choice but to live with their families, if they're paying off big educational loans.
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Old 10-30-2016, 12:16 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,242 posts, read 13,754,516 times
Reputation: 18037
Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
I don't think it's pathetic and sad at all. I also don't think it's trendy. I think it's often done for a while out of necessity or sometimes practicality. I dated a guy who lived at home until he was 30. He worked and saved his money and bought a house when he moved out. He had a good job (engineer) the whole time he lived at home. Now has a nice home of his own. What's sad about that?
Sorry, but I think staying home to save for a house is a sad reason to stay at home. Yes, renting is a money drain, but there comes a time to grow up. Living at home is for when you're unemployed or underemployed, you have a crippling debt (that was unavoidable), or some other circumstances beyond your control. Not to save for a house. That's being a leech. When I did the online dating thing I considered that a deal breaker.
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Old 10-30-2016, 09:04 AM
 
3,137 posts, read 2,686,416 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NDak15 View Post
Sorry, but I think staying home to save for a house is a sad reason to stay at home. Yes, renting is a money drain, but there comes a time to grow up. Living at home is for when you're unemployed or underemployed, you have a crippling debt (that was unavoidable), or some other circumstances beyond your control. Not to save for a house. That's being a leech. When I did the online dating thing I considered that a deal breaker.
They are only being a "leech" if their parents do not want them living at home.


And I admired this guy because he was smart with money. He didn't have any debt and was financially stable by the time he moved out. He didn't spend money unless he had it. He wasn't dependent on credit cards, unlike many other young men that I knew, buying boats and all kinds of things they couldn't really afford.


He wasn't leeching off his parents because he pitched in, helped out, and bought his own food when he lived at home. It is the norm in many other countries for adult children to live at home until they are married.


And really, it's between that person and his or her family. It is nobody else's business. Ultimately we cannot tell other people how to live their lives.
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Old 10-30-2016, 09:57 AM
 
19,389 posts, read 12,033,778 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
They are only being a "leech" if their parents do not want them living at home.


And I admired this guy because he was smart with money. He didn't have any debt and was financially stable by the time he moved out. He didn't spend money unless he had it. He wasn't dependent on credit cards, unlike many other young men that I knew, buying boats and all kinds of things they couldn't really afford.


He wasn't leeching off his parents because he pitched in, helped out, and bought his own food when he lived at home. It is the norm in many other countries for adult children to live at home until they are married.


And really, it's between that person and his or her family. It is nobody else's business. Ultimately we cannot tell other people how to live their lives.

But, as I pointed out in an earlier post, if we are talking about living in the US, who cares what is norm in other countries, it is norm in US to move out eventually.


And yes it is between the person and their family. The person has to understand it may be a turnoff and deal breaker to others. My experience was that the person would get very angry about that. My experience is 100% of American men I have known who never lived away from home by age 35 for any reason, were/are significantly dysfunctional. Women do not get a pass because feminism made it equal.
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Old 10-30-2016, 10:08 AM
 
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So? It is also the "norm" to be straight. So you should really condemn all gay people too, then.
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Old 10-30-2016, 10:18 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,242 posts, read 13,754,516 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
But, as I pointed out in an earlier post, if we are talking about living in the US, who cares what is norm in other countries, it is norm in US to move out eventually.


And yes it is between the person and their family. The person has to understand it may be a turnoff and deal breaker to others. My experience was that the person would get very angry about that. My experience is 100% of American men I have known who never lived away from home by age 35 for any reason, were/are significantly dysfunctional. Women do not get a pass because feminism made it equal.
This is very well stated. To me, at best living at home when you're in your mid 20s and after is something you do when unemployed or underemployed, between jobs (I forgot to mention that before), and when you're in debt that was unavoidable. I lived at home for three months at the age of 26 because I was underemployed. I spend every spare minute looking for jobs in order to move out again and I haven't moved back since. At no point was I dating as there were other things like looking for a job and moving out that needed to be done.
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Old 10-30-2016, 10:20 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,242 posts, read 13,754,516 times
Reputation: 18037
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Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
So? It is also the "norm" to be straight. So you should really condemn all gay people too, then.
Making quite the leap there aren't you? Nice attempt at a political statement though.
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Old 10-30-2016, 10:40 AM
 
1,026 posts, read 1,508,325 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NDak15 View Post
This is very well stated. To me, at best living at home when you're in your mid 20s and after is something you do when unemployed or underemployed, between jobs (I forgot to mention that before), and when you're in debt that was unavoidable. I lived at home for three months at the age of 26 because I was underemployed. I spend every spare minute looking for jobs in order to move out again and I haven't moved back since. At no point was I dating as there were other things like looking for a job and moving out that needed to be done.
well goody for you! It's just wonderful people can decide these sort of things for themselves, isn't it?
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