Tips on making friends as a young twenty something? (husband, siblings, person)
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I have a lot of regrets and a lot of doubt. Please hear me out and don't chew me apart. I have been depressed for a long time and probably could actually use therapy.
I am 27 and have no friends. My husband may be my only friend. I am very close to my siblings and two cousins, but my cousins live far away and my siblings are awesome but they are about five years older than me, we do a lot of stuff together but they all have kids and still see me as the young, child free sibling and don't always take me seriously, which can be frustrating.
I used to have a best friend who I will never forget but we had a falling out and it was my fault. I was a bad friend and a mean person. I have changed but I still beat myself up every day and miss her terribly.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, how do I make new friends? I have a lot of acquaintances at work that I get along great with and we laugh all the time, but they are much older than me. I have even considered switching companies to one that employs a lot of young people like me (I see this on Facebook, I work at a small town dinky company). I crave that intimate friendship with another girl that I can talk with and laugh with, go places with and just be there at 2 am if she needs me, vice versa.
It's a small town? So how many people your age or close to it are there? Have you tried getting involved in community events and organizations, the gym, sports clubs (hiking, canoeing/kayaking, whatever), hobby groups (quilting, painting, ceramics, music, gardening, bonsai, exotic cuisine cooking classes), etc.? Is there a larger town within an easy drive, where you might join some activities and make friends?
What about volunteering for the elderly; you'd be surprised: there are some very sharp and fascinating cookies out there, who might need a little help in exchange for companionship. Really, my best and most interesting friends in the new town I moved to some years ago were all over 75. These were celebrated authors or other professionals who had had fascinating lives and were extremely bright and creative. Friends can turn up in some unlikely places.
Ruth shared my thoughts-- join groups, attend events, take a class, and volunteer in various places. Get yourself out into the world and be open to getting to know people of any age. In my 20s and 30s, I met friends through work, groups that were aligned with my interests, taking a class... I met people by getting out there.
If you really like some of the people you're met at work and could see having a friendship, then open yourself up to that. Age really isn't a huge thing when you're an adult. You might find yourself a close companion who is a little older than you.
Join some yahoo meetup groups based on mutual interests or a book club. Social events that require interaction with others. Also, don't rule out the possibility of opposite-gender friends, or friends who are a lot older than you are. I am a woman, and some of my good friends have been men. Don't try to look for a "best friend" just try to get to know people. If people think someone is desperate for a BFF, they will back off really fast, most of the time. I would also recommend volunteering. I used to volunteer for a political organization and got to know lots of people really fast.
Join some yahoo meetup groups based on mutual interests or a book club. Social events that require interaction with others. Also, don't rule out the possibility of opposite-gender friends, or friends who are a lot older than you are. I am a woman, and some of my good friends have been men. Don't try to look for a "best friend" just try to get to know people. If people think someone is desperate for a BFF, they will back off really fast, most of the time. I would also recommend volunteering. I used to volunteer for a political organization and got to know lots of people really fast.
If there were a candidate the OP could believe in, this election season would be a perfect occasion to volunteer and meet a lot of people in the process, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's less than enthused about the candidates. I wonder if The Bern had a campaign office in her area--that could have been an opportunity.
Wow, that's helpful As for the OP, why must your friend(s) be of the same age group? Seems like you're restricting yourself by limiting the age of your potential friends. You already said your siblings are 5 years older and apparently that bothers you. Don't focus so much on age and more on people you have a connection with. I'm not saying to hang out at nursing homes but stop looking for a friend with predetermined criteria. I'm sure you could find someone in their 30's or even 40's who has similar interests.
Wow, that's helpful As for the OP, why must your friend(s) be of the same age group? Seems like you're restricting yourself by limiting the age of your potential friends. You already said your siblings are 5 years older and apparently that bothers you. Don't focus so much on age and more on people you have a connection with. I'm not saying to hang out at nursing homes but stop looking for a friend with predetermined criteria. I'm sure you could find someone in their 30's or even 40's who has similar interests.
No, that's not what she said. She said she gets along great with her older cousins, but they sometimes behave patronizingly toward her, so those relationships don't quite fill the bill.
If there were a candidate the OP could believe in, this election season would be a perfect occasion to volunteer and meet a lot of people in the process, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's less than enthused about the candidates. I wonder if The Bern had a campaign office in her area--that could have been an opportunity.
Lots of people in their 20s volunteer for political causes. It seems to be a post-college thing. I did it in my 20s and met tons of people in my age bracket and we had a lot of fun - it was a blast.
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As for the OP, why must your friend(s) be of the same age group? Seems like you're restricting yourself by limiting the age of your potential friends. You already said your siblings are 5 years older and apparently that bothers you. Don't focus so much on age and more on people you have a connection with. I'm not saying to hang out at nursing homes but stop looking for a friend with predetermined criteria. I'm sure you could find someone in their 30's or even 40's who has similar interests.
