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So a cousin (only 19yrs old) reached out to me a few days back asking for money as he's in "desperate need". I knew from another cousin that he'd also asked him for money a day earlier but was refused.
The story he concocted for me didn't match the story he told the other cousin on why he needed the money. He didn't know that I knew from the other cousin that he's asked him for money. His reasons to ask for money and why he can't get anyone else to help him didn't add up at all.
However, this is the first time he's ever asked us for money and since the amount was paltry ($100) I consented to help him out. He kept begging that I don't tell his mom (or anyone else for that matters) which I agreed to but was planning to tell his mom anyway. I know from his mom that his company isn't great, he's skipping college and rarely listens to his parents and I felt like she needed to know what he is up to. He's told the other cousin that he hit a friend in the head with a bottle and now that friend needs money to hush up or for his treatment. I suspect that he must be in some deep trouble to look for money from sources where there won't be much questioning (although I did probe) on the reasons and where his parents will likely not find out. (keep in mind he lives in another country where $100 can go far).
Anyway, my dad advised against telling his mother as he thinks this makes me look like I am fishing for credit...although that wasn't the intent but I do see his point that it can come across so. My dad's advice is to give him benefit of doubt once and if he asks again then we can tell his mother.
Since you mentioned this is happening in another country with what sounds like a different culture, it's hard to know how to approach this. What do you think would be the outcome of telling his mother? Do you believe the story of why he needed the money, is it possible that he is getting himself into more trouble with this $100? Is the person asking for the hush money likely to be satisfied with $100 and not come back for more?
He's 19 years old, and while he's probably acting immaturely, that doesn't mean that you should run tattle-tale to his mother over $100. He's a putative adult. As you say, it's just $100. Is there any suggestion of repayment? Or is this a gift?
I would have asked your cousin, "Why don't you want me to tell your mother?" And unless he gave a very good, logical reason why she shouldn't know, I would have said "Sorry, but the only way I'm lending you $100 is if I tell her what's going on." He can then take it or leave it, as he wishes.
He lives with his parents. He admitted that he's getting into fights recently (due to anger issues) and for this reason his parents are not talking to him and not giving him any money. I honestly don't know if I believe the latter part. Oh well!
So a cousin (only 19yrs old) reached out to me a few days back asking for money as he's in "desperate need". I knew from another cousin that he'd also asked him for money a day earlier but was refused.
The story he concocted for me didn't match the story he told the other cousin on why he needed the money. He didn't know that I knew from the other cousin that he's asked him for money. His reasons to ask for money and why he can't get anyone else to help him didn't add up at all.
However, this is the first time he's ever asked us for money and since the amount was paltry ($100) I consented to help him out. He kept begging that I don't tell his mom (or anyone else for that matters) which I agreed to but was planning to tell his mom anyway. I know from his mom that his company isn't great, he's skipping college and rarely listens to his parents and I felt like she needed to know what he is up to. He's told the other cousin that he hit a friend in the head with a bottle and now that friend needs money to hush up or for his treatment. I suspect that he must be in some deep trouble to look for money from sources where there won't be much questioning (although I did probe) on the reasons and where his parents will likely not find out. (keep in mind he lives in another country where $100 can go far).
Anyway, my dad advised against telling his mother as he thinks this makes me look like I am fishing for credit...although that wasn't the intent but I do see his point that it can come across so. My dad's advice is to give him benefit of doubt once and if he asks again then we can tell his mother.
"only 19 years old" is an adult, you don't tell mommy on a adult. Tell him no, and really think is this the kind of person I should be associating with. When you realize your cousin is not worth it, move on with your life.
He lives with his parents. He admitted that he's getting into fights recently (due to anger issues) and for this reason his parents are not talking to him and not giving him any money. I honestly don't know if I believe the latter part. Oh well!
Well if you give him the money consider it a gift. Because from what you have written you won't most likely see it again.
Keep in mind he may need to pay more to cover what he did, and is asking several people for a $100.
Also you only "loan" money if it will not put any financial hardship on yourself, whether it be $100 or $10,000.
Because most of the time and especially with relatives, somehow you become the bad guy when you start to inquire about repayment.
Guys, he's already given him the money. And since he still lives with his parents they have a right to know, because it sounds like he's getting himself into some real trouble.
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