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Some things will make it harder to find friends. One of the biggest now is dietary. No one wants to get a group together for dinner if you are vegan, gluten free, or anything that limits the choices for restaurants. Being anti alcohol also doesn't help. .
I would add to that: that if someone spends a lot of time talking about their gluten free diet (or any other kind of diet they are on) they are boring as hell. And it's even worse when the complain loudly at restaurants about the lack of gluten free foods on the menu.
I have friends who don't drink and they are okay with me ordering alcohol. But I've known other people who get offended and/or upset if I ordered a beer or something. They believe alcohol is a sin and that nobody should be allowed to have it, and well, sorry that's not the real world we live in. I don't care how strongly that someone feels that I am going to hell for having a drink. They need to grow up and get over it. I also don't like dining out with friends who try to force everyone else at the table to pray before a meal.
The only type of restaurant I won't dine in, is sushi and that's it. I am open to all other cuisines.
I would add to that: that if someone spends a lot of time talking about their gluten free diet (or any other kind of diet they are on) they are boring as hell. And it's even worse when the complain loudly at restaurants about the lack of gluten free foods on the menu.
I have friends who don't drink and they are okay with me ordering alcohol. But I've known other people who get offended and/or upset if I ordered a beer or something. They believe alcohol is a sin and that nobody should be allowed to have it, and well, sorry that's not the real world we live in. I don't care how strongly that someone feels that I am going to hell for having a drink. They need to grow up and get over it. I also don't like dining out with friends who try to force everyone else at the table to pray before a meal.
The only type of restaurant I won't dine in, is sushi and that's it. I am open to all other cuisines.
I don't like dining out with people who insist I try their food, and want to try mine in return.
I live in a neighborhood of older established residents, I married my present wife and moved here five years ago. We have met people here as a couple and she had a few friends left from her working days that we would go out with from time to time, but real long term friends are something out of our pasts. In our travels we meet other couples at the resorts and have short term associations with them, dinners out and drinks, but again, these are short term acquaintances lasting only for the time stayed there.
As a widower and a newly single guy (in 08) I found making friends much easier than when I was married, couples tend to keep to themselves more and have each other to do things with. My wife says the same thing, she was single for six years before we met and had the usual girls nights out to keep up with friends. I have two single sisters who have become somewhat socially isolated in their old age, when talking to them I find they have felt the loss of friendships to be a very troubling thing.
They both live in the town we grew up in and know only a few of the old classmates from school. I think our working years tend to be the thing that began that pulling apart of old friendships, that and family life took most of our time, now, in our seventies we find the world a much different place, the irony of it all is the fact of us having so much time but few relationships to spend it on. Getting old is that part of life we didn't see coming at us, we knew nothing of it's difficulties and far less about the hows and whys of planning for this time. It's been challenging to say the least.
Find yourself doing things for your kids all your life and all of a sudden your an empty nester without many close friends to do things on the weekend with. We have plenty of work friends but work is work. Anyone else feel this way and if so where does a couple go to meet other couples... for friendships... to hang out with.
Maybe it's a good time to actually look INSIDE and start working on things truly important? Now that there are less distractions? And more time available, more peace, more opportunity?
I live in a neighborhood of older established residents, I married my present wife and moved here five years ago. We have met people here as a couple and she had a few friends left from her working days that we would go out with from time to time, but real long term friends are something out of our pasts. In our travels we meet other couples at the resorts and have short term associations with them, dinners out and drinks, but again, these are short term acquaintances lasting only for the time stayed.
I think our working years tend to be the thing that began that pulling apart of old friendships, that and family life took most of our time, now, in our seventies we find the world a much different place, the irony of it all is the fact of us having so much time but few relationships to spend it on. Getting old is that part of life we didn't see coming at us, we knew nothing of it's difficulties and far less about the hows and whys of planning for this time. It's been challenging to say the least.
We are now in our early 70's. We had almost no friends after we moved to this area and have put in a lot of effort trying to make new friends. It has been difficult finding people we "click" with. I still don't have a close woman friend in whom I would feel comfortable confiding. But, by carefully noticing the people we meet who could be compatible with us and inviting them to meet us for lunch, we have gradually found 4 couples we really enjoy and with whom we socialize. Two couples we met at Sunday School, one lives in our neighborhood, and the other DH met at the senior center card group. So my suggestion to you is to put yourself out there, be aware of the personalities of the people you come in contact with, and MAKE THE EFFORT to get to know them better. Invite them to something, just the four of you. It's not easy. I belonged to 2 women's clubs and though I met many people at the events, I found that interacting with someone during a club lunch event of an hour or two was not long enough for us to get to know each other. In fact, I felt like a lot of these women were not interested in getting to know someone new at all. And if they were brand new, they only wanted to talk about themselves.
We always made friends in other cities and were shocked how hard it was at this age. We've had some hits and misses. Not every effort you make will work out. Some people were just not for us after we got to know them better. Hang in there. It will get better if you keep trying.
Last edited by staywarm2; 11-21-2016 at 03:06 PM..
Shouldn't be to hard to find a couple that you could have dinner with every 3 weeks and go on an occasional weekend vacation with. Seems like everyone is focused on their phones these days and are afraid to make eye contact. Certenly is a different world out there these days.
Agree that people are different today. Maybe I just notice it more than I used to, but it seem people are more self-involved than they used to be, even retired people in their 70's. Many are greatly involved on their phones or Tv's/internet. Many people our age (70's) seem to be deeply into their families and grandkids, to the exclusion of friends.
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