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A neighbor came to me crying that she owed & needed $2,500. I have money in investments, but how she knew that is beyond me. I fell for her sob story & called my investment firm to release funds. I was talked into thinking about it overnight. Thank God.
After talking to her again, she has an enclosed trailer which she says was worth $5,000 new. She also has a truck that is newer than my car & a daughter that could possibly help her.
I saw her today & told her I couldn't help her & that she should sell her trailor. She said, "Well, I'll have to do something."
Okay, prior to writing this I was feeling bad. Seeing it in black & white, I no longer do. Yes, I should never have told her I would loan her the money, but she should have never asked me for it.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Yes, you did the right thing. The advice to "sleep on it" was very, very wise. Which leads me to the bolded: you should not feel guilty about exercising your right to change your mind!
I know several friends that have done this and just ended up having to write the money off, or lose the friendship. My friend "Linda" inherited money when her dad died. She was pretty free with that information, and sure enough a close friend "Mary" with continual money issues asked for a $10,000 loan (without interest of course!) to pay off her high interest credit cards. Linda gave her the money, expecting to be paid monthly until it was paid off. Mary paid for a couple months, but then there were new problems and she couldn't pay for a few months, which turned into a year, and then Mary shows up driving a brand new pick up truck. Linda asks when the loan will be repaid, and of course Mary has no money now that she's paying a big truck payment, and surprise, surprise, she has run up her credit cards again. No money left over to pay Linda. Linda seethes inside but loves her friend and won't press her for the money. Now 12 years later, Linda never expects to be paid back. She doesn't make a lot of money and the inheritance was for her daughter's college education and her retirement.
Never loan money if you think you will need it someday. You probably won't get it back. I had to turn down my own brother for a loan because it was for something he really didn't need (a boat). I would gladly have given it to him if it was for a health issue or rent he couldn't pay through no fault of his own, and I wouldn't even have cared if he never paid it back. But for a boat? I knew I would be resentful if he never paid it back, so I didn't. I just told him it was all tied up in retirement accounts and there would be penalties and taxes if I took it out. Not a total lie, it was in savings for retirement, bit not a restricted account.
Could she have gotten a piece of mail (investment statement) by mistake? Be sure you go paperless.
A neighbor asking for $2500: I just can.t imagine it.
It really is important to run stuff like this by someone who you trust and is not emotional. Like you did. It is at times like these when you need to "gird your loins" and grow a large set. So, to speak...
You should not go to friends with requests for money unless all else has failed. Your friend was out of line with her request. Maybe she was not thinking straight.
I can't make generalizations about her finances, but she clearly has assets she can sell to meet this debt. That she let it get out of hand does say something about her financial responsibility. But we can't know the details.
It is not your responsibility to bail out friends who have not thought their finances through.
How she knew? Maybe she didn't. Maybe she took a chance. Maybe she has done this before successfully with others, and she did the same with you.
A neighbor came to me crying that she owed & needed $2,500. I have money in investments, but how she knew that is beyond me. I fell for her sob story & called my investment firm to release funds. I was talked into thinking about it overnight. Thank God.
After talking to her again, she has an enclosed trailer which she says was worth $5,000 new. She also has a truck that is newer than my car & a daughter that could possibly help her.
I saw her today & told her I couldn't help her & that she should sell her trailor. She said, "Well, I'll have to do something."
Okay, prior to writing this I was feeling bad. Seeing it in black & white, I no longer do. Yes, I should never have told her I would loan her the money, but she should have never asked me for it.
Thanks for letting me vent.
And..THIS is why one should never get too close to one's neighbors.
Note: This seems harsh and does not apply to those who you know intimately. If my family needed something and I knew they had done all they could and were in a bad place thru something not of their own making, I would consider a gift.
A loan will lose you the relationship.
Truer words were never spoken.
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