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I can't imagine cashing out part of an investment account because a neighbor can't manage their money. Since when do neighbors ask each other for money? Do you know any of your other neighbors well, OP? Could you check with any of them to see if she came sobbing and begging to them, too?
A neighbor came to me crying that she owed & needed $2,500. I have money in investments, but how she knew that is beyond me. I fell for her sob story & called my investment firm to release funds. I was talked into thinking about it overnight. Thank God.
You have a good heart, Meo. Did she actually *ask* you for the money or just tell you the story? Sometimes our "good heart" and desire to "make things right" can get us in hot water. I rather doubt that she knows your financial situation if you have said nothing about it previously and live as frugally as you apparently do.
But now that this has happened, you will be alert to how to react in the future should the situation ever come up again – with her or anyone else. We can have a good heart and want to help to "fix things" for folks, but have to protect ourselves at the same time.
A neighbor came to me crying that she owed & needed $2,500. I have money in investments, but how she knew that is beyond me. I fell for her sob story & called my investment firm to release funds. I was talked into thinking about it overnight. Thank God.
After talking to her again, she has an enclosed trailer which she says was worth $5,000 new. She also has a truck that is newer than my car & a daughter that could possibly help her.
I saw her today & told her I couldn't help her & that she should sell her trailor. She said, "Well, I'll have to do something."
Okay, prior to writing this I was feeling bad. Seeing it in black & white, I no longer do. Yes, I should never have told her I would loan her the money, but she should have never asked me for it.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Years ago I loaned a friend $4,500.00 after a long sob story. I had known him for years and thought I was doing the right thing. It was just about all the money I had in savings but he was looking at being removed from his apartment.
I never saw a dime from him and found out later he was borrowing money from people all over the neighborhood.
You have a good heart, Meo. Did she actually *ask* you for the money or just tell you the story? Sometimes our "good heart" and desire to "make things right" can get us in hot water. I rather doubt that she knows your financial situation if you have said nothing about it previously and live as frugally as you apparently do.
But now that this has happened, you will be alert to how to react in the future should the situation ever come up again – with her or anyone else. We can have a good heart and want to help to "fix things" for folks, but have to protect ourselves at the same time.
What happened was that I was waiting for my sister at PT after her shoulder surgery & my neighbor came in; she had pt also & said she needed to talk to me, but not there.
So, once I was home & saw she was too, I went to talk to her. I thought it would be about the deserted cat I befriended & was astonished when she told me she had to come up with this money. Yes, I felt very sorry for her & told her I would talk to my brother because I had the money in investments. So yes, my heart got me in trouble.
She did say though, when she came into the waiting room at pt that she'd just been thinking of me, which is what got me wondering in the first place.
It was after the advice from my brother & then rethinking our conversation; she mentioned her daughter had advised her to sell the trailor but she wanted to keep it in case she ever needed to move. That sent off bells. Then the fact that she said she'd never part with her truck. I realized that as much as I love my car I certainly would sell it if I had a debt, long before I'd ask anyone else for money.
I used to say "Yes" so quickly that I finally taped a piece of paper next to my telephone which read: Let me think about it and I'll call you back tomorrow.
Just say, "Sorry, I don't make loans. You'll have to go to your bank."
Banks and credit unions make more loans in an hour than you'll make in a lifetime--and they can afford to take a certain amount of losses. If they won't loan someone money, you shouldn't, either.
Just say, "Sorry, I don't make loans. You'll have to go to your bank."
Banks and credit unions make more loans in an hour than you'll make in a lifetime--and they can afford to take a certain amount of losses. If they won't loan someone money, you shouldn't, either.
Actually, she was angry that her bank wouldn't loan her the money. Another bell ringer.
I promise, I won't fall for it again. I learned my lesson!
I don't think it's even appropriate on some level to ask a neighbor to borrow this amount of money. It sounds like you aren't that close to this woman. If she were a very close friend of many years, it would be different.
Many people badly mismanage or even abuse their finances and then start looking at other peoples money. They'll ask someone about their assets or investments, or start asking financial questions to find out who has money and who doesn't. They are looking at your wallet only and don't care about you. These people are vultures.
I've never run into this before & hope to never again. I live frugally so except for my car (2010 Nissan Cube) I don't look like I have anything. I'm uncertain why she thought I had the funds.
I have too big a heart, but a tough brother handling my finances. So I will always be made to think before doing something foolish.
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