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Old 11-19-2016, 07:53 AM
 
Location: NNJ
15,070 posts, read 10,087,917 times
Reputation: 17247

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
I have plenty of good experience, but most places don't want to hire someone that hasn't worked in years.

Again, any money I make, ends up going to the rent or bills, one way or another. So trying to save anything, while living here, is obviously pointless. Which is partly why I haven't tried harder to get a job, I guess. I don't want to work, just to have it all go to staying in this pathetic situation, with someone that's demented and doesn't want to do anything differently. Of course, he said if I I got a job, he would let me keep the money, but of course, that turned out to be a lie also, since as I said, he obviously needs any money around, since he won't work.

Translation.

It is hard... so I just refuse to.

Excuse and copout. You have experience. What is holding you back is attitude,mentality, and lack of priorities.



Try being a single mother of two young children, with no education nor work experience, abandoned by the father, and cannot speak English... That's my previous GF of 2 years (around 20 years ago). That's a bad situation.. yours isn't all that bad... it is all in your head. She made some HUGE sacrifices but in the end, both of her children are college bound.

Last edited by usayit; 11-19-2016 at 08:02 AM..

 
Old 11-19-2016, 07:55 AM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,050,246 times
Reputation: 16753
Hopeless case, not really looking for help or change. Endemic here...
 
Old 11-19-2016, 07:57 AM
 
Location: NNJ
15,070 posts, read 10,087,917 times
Reputation: 17247
Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
Not that much...although, I could obviously get rid of some or leave it here, as that's what would happen if I had to leave and couldn't afford a storage unit. I would sell some of that stuff to pay for it...since as I said, it will either be sold or given away if I leave anyway, I might as well be the one that benefits from it. It's mainly a lot of CD's, DVD's, magazines, clothes, etc. But it's mainly my more valuable things, like my camera and computers.
LEAVE it all behind. You cannot afford to maintain those things. Take only the necessities. Focus on getting a job.
 
Old 11-19-2016, 08:00 AM
 
Location: NNJ
15,070 posts, read 10,087,917 times
Reputation: 17247
Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
Sure, because after spending hours looking for jobs and applying for jobs over the last couple years...and getting a few interviews, but no job...and still spending more time looking and applying...and then usually hearing nothing...after a while it seems like a waste of time.
Um.. that's part of the game.

After I graduated and landed a job, I was part of a mass layoff about 1 year later. Took me 2 years of job search to find a position that was loosely related to my profession. It took a full 10 years to get back to the actual type of job that I would consider "career" worthy.

When you are unemployed, your FULL-TIME job is the job search. So during those 2 years, I worked 9-5... on my job search. I even kept my old employed routine. Got up, got ready, and reported to work.... its just that work happen to be at the local library or coffee shop.


Seems to me you avoid anything that is challenging.... that's a problem that no one here canhelp you with.
 
Old 11-19-2016, 08:12 AM
 
2,411 posts, read 1,973,464 times
Reputation: 5786
Reread your own posts/threads, OP. You often say conflicting things. You say ... you are looking for jobs (but you never leave the house because of your father stealing stuff) .. you say you are looking for jobs all the time but have spent only hours in years doing so - and can't understand apparently why you have not found any. But, then again, if you miraculously found a job you might have to actually leave the house to do it - and your father of course would just take all your stuff while you worked.


Learn to drive - that excuse is getting old. It doesn't cost much. Find a friend with a vehicle and ask nicely if they will teach you. You may not need to drive but if you can then you will eliminate one excuse. And sell one of the 'couple of bikes' you say you have - why do you need two? I am surprised Daddy hasn't sold the one you are not using that day (when you never leave the house) out from under you already.


Stop telling us stuff like 'I heard that the homeless shelters are full' - who the heck did you hear that from? The internet? GO TO A HOMELESS SHELTER and tell them your plight - and find out the truth in person. And stop telling us that your therapist is looking into things for you and then casually say that you 'should' go back and ask if there have been any results. BE PROACTIVE. If you want out of this situation (which I honestly don't think you do at all - you are getting a lot from it - you get to post sad sack stories all day long and it makes you feel 'important' somehow), YOU need to actually DO something to make it happen!


And if you need the money that selling the stuff your father is stealing from you to sell - then SELL IT NOW yourself! We have already told you what to do with the money you get so that your father won't also steal that (another thread I remember). Yet, you have done nothing. All you want now is to call the police .. well if you want to do that .. DO IT .. see what they say .. don't ask us what they will say.


What are your skills? What do you have to offer on the job market and what are you qualified to do? How are you actually applying for jobs (and what kind are you applying for) .. do you go in person and knock on doors? Somehow I doubt it (since you say you rarely leave the house). It looks to me that the only thing you are good at right now is sulking and blaming - not exactly things that are very marketable. Not many jobs seek professional victims - although if you like to 'protest' there may be a place for you right now in some cities where they are rioting.


It is (as just about everyone has stated) really frustrating to try to provide useful advice to someone who just has an excuse for absolutely everything. Oh woe is you.


Right now, you are a lost cause. Make a move .. ANY move .. and then come back for more 'help'. If you want change, YOU have to be that change. If you do NOTHING, nothing will change. Stop with the excuses. Just get on with doing what needs to be done.
 
Old 11-19-2016, 08:18 AM
 
13,980 posts, read 25,937,803 times
Reputation: 39909
Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
Not that much...although, I could obviously get rid of some or leave it here, as that's what would happen if I had to leave and couldn't afford a storage unit. I would sell some of that stuff to pay for it...since as I said, it will either be sold or given away if I leave anyway, I might as well be the one that benefits from it. It's mainly a lot of CD's, DVD's, magazines, clothes, etc. But it's mainly my more valuable things, like my camera and computers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
Sure, because after spending hours looking for jobs and applying for jobs over the last couple years...and getting a few interviews, but no job...and still spending more time looking and applying...and then usually hearing nothing...after a while it seems like a waste of time. And when you're already exhausted and depressed, and everything seems pointless and no one gives a **** or wants to do anything to help, it's hard to even have the energy to do anything, even brush your teeth or take a shower, to be able to even leave the house, to look for said jobs. :/

It's not my stuff that's holding me back. I've thought about moving, and would like to move somewhere with more jobs...but when you don't drive, and have no money or car, that's sort of difficult. So staying in a place you know, that you can get around in easily, seems most logical.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
I've been meaning to. I've heard they are often full though, with the economy and everything, and so many jobless and homeless people. I did talk to a therapist, that said she could call them for me. So I've been meaning to go back and talk about that. I was also thinking of going someplace else, and wanted to find out about shelters in other town, if some might be better or less full, or in town with better resources or jobs...but I don't think there is any kind of homeless relocation program to ask about that.
I'm not going to dump on you for being depressed. But posting threads about how life has done you wrong isn't going to help. If you want to move to another area, research what shelters and services are available, sell the extra computer(s) sell the extra bike(s), and buy a bus ticket. Because one of these days you're going to find yourself out on the street. You cannot wait for it to happen.

"I've been meaning to, I've been meaning to..." Why haven't you? Pick up the phone!

Life is about to get harder under this new administration, not easier.
 
Old 11-19-2016, 08:30 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,048 posts, read 18,296,653 times
Reputation: 37125
Excuses! Excuses! Excuses!
 
Old 11-19-2016, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,488 posts, read 3,334,553 times
Reputation: 9913
Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
I've been meaning to. I've heard they are often full though, with the economy and everything, and so many jobless and homeless people. I did talk to a therapist, that said she could call them for me. So I've been meaning to go back and talk about that. I was also thinking of going someplace else, and wanted to find out about shelters in other town, if some might be better or less full, or in town with better resources or jobs...but I don't think there is any kind of homeless relocation program to ask about that.
"I've been meaning to" and actually doing something are two different things. They also tell us that you are NOT doing anything to help yourself.

We cannot help you.


Only you are in control of your own destiny.

Again: We cannot help you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
Hopeless case, not really looking for help or change. Endemic here...
Agree. Excuses after excuses.

Spoiler
I kinda wish the computer would dissapear at this point.
 
Old 11-19-2016, 08:33 AM
 
5,401 posts, read 6,523,752 times
Reputation: 12017
Go see the therapist and make a plan for a new life. You may need to get far away from your father to break this cycle. You are homeless, you just are not recognizing it. Get rid of anything that you can not easily carry in something the size of a backpack. If you can not sell it, leave it. You need escape this downward spiral if you want a decent life. Go see the therapist and move to a shelter.
 
Old 11-19-2016, 08:44 AM
 
1,026 posts, read 1,513,748 times
Reputation: 859
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
Translation.

It is hard... so I just refuse to.

Excuse and copout. You have experience. What is holding you back is attitude,mentality, and lack of priorities.
No, I tried. What is 'holding me back', is the fact that I haven't worked in years. Since, as you said, I have experience so, so what other reason would some place have for not wanting to hire me, or even give me an interview, in most cases?

Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
Try being a single mother of two young children, with no education nor work experience, abandoned by the father, and cannot speak English... That's my previous GF of 2 years (around 20 years ago). That's a bad situation.. yours isn't all that bad... it is all in your head. She made some HUGE sacrifices but in the end, both of her children are college bound.
Well, at least someone in that situation can get on welfare and subsidized housing. If I was really so lazy as everyone thinks, then I could just do that. Also, having no education or work experience usually means someone is young - and that is usually an advantage, even if having no education or experience seems like a disadvantage. I have plenty of education, and so do many other people, that can't get a job, or a decent one. Also, being young and inexperienced is also not such a con. As said, I have plenty of experience, and usually don't get a response. Apparently, having a lot of experience in varied jobs is undesireable, even though it means someone has a lot of different skills and is adapteable. People want to help young people. They have more energy and stamina. Try being 30 and your legs get all stiff just from walking around the house.
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