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I actually have been thinking that the whole last half hour. And yes, it is just half of the story. Normally my mom is very kind and will not only give you the shirt off her back, she'll bend over backwards and do a somersault while flipping. I actually live in Maine, not LA. I hate my situation right now and just wish I could go back in time and reverse it entirely. I love my mom, she is the most important person in my life and has been for years. I hate to leave it like this between us. And really, I don't feel like I'm winning anything. Both me and my mom are losing, and losing big. Like jump off a bridge in a locked car losing. And to be honest, I doubt I would be better off moving anyway. Currently my only income is SSDI because I can't work. I'm no longer mad, I'm just...sad.
Sad is acceptable and a start.
So now there are probably a more than a few things at play here. One you are almost 18 so you got a lot going on inside. This is not bad but this is really sucky at times. Then there is her. If it seems she just started to change there may be external forces. Maybe she is getting her teeth kicked in at work or having some other problems and is taking it our on you for some reason. Also you may just be getting on each others nerves.
I am not sure of you particular situation with work, and it is none of my business. But if you can you I think you need to work on becoming self sufficient now. For you.
I grew up in a nothing town in Ohio. I had a good family but not much else going for me. I joined the military many years ago and now am doing pretty well. It accomplished 2 goals, it made me self sufficient and got me out of a nowhere town.
I wish you luck. Just know that what is happening now is very fluid. Everyone has down days, weeks and years. But it does get better. It gets better faster if you work for it though.
EDIT: And I am not against games. I still play console and PC games. But I do it when I have all my other **** lined up in a row. When you get food in your belly, a nice roof over your head and a path forward you will have time for that.
Last edited by Old Guard; 11-21-2016 at 11:02 AM..
Why are you on SSDI as a 18 year old and not out working? If you have a significant disability then ok if not then go eotk. It sounds like to me that you need to recognize that you are in your mom's house so you need to abide by her rules. This probably has been bubbling for a while now.
Thanks everybody. I am almost definitely moving out now, though to where I don't have a clue. She has now proceeded to physically attack me, more than once, and I just need to get the heck out of here.
OP, you're lucky to have a family resource to turn to: your grandmother (btw, is she your maternal or your paternal granma?). You can stay with her while you're looking for a place. I'd bail now, and work on finding your own place later.
This may surprise you, but sadly, it's not that unusual for moms, or both parents, even, to favor boys and let them get away with anything. Moms tend to be much more emotionally enmeshed with their daughters, especially if there's only one girl among boys. Or rather, if there is enmeshment and emotional abuse, it plays out with the daughter rather than the son.
Your mom doesn't sound emotionally/psychologically healthy. The long weekend is coming up; plenty of time to move out and get settled in at your grandmother's. Good luck!
It sounds like you are being taken advantage of because you live there. I am sorry. I think it's wrong for a parent to take things you bought with your own money or even if they bought it for you. That is a form of abuse. This sounds ABUSIVE to me and although it is probably hard to get your own place at 18 and support yourself, you would be better off on your own.
Ok, so I just read the entire thread. If you don't work and can't and you have limited income, I would seriously think about trying to make it work with your mom. Trust me, it's not always better on the other side. I moved out at 20 and I had a decent job, but life is hard and even harder when you're 18. I wish I would have stayed at home as long as I could have!
If I was you I'd sit down with your mom and have a long talk. Tell her since you are now legally an adult, you would like to be treated like one and have more privacy. You would like her to respect you and your space. With that said......you still live under her roof and she has the right to make rules. Even if you're paying her rent, she still owns the home and she is still your mother. I would make it work! Think real hard about what you would have to pay for if you moved out on your own.....
Rent, car, gas, insurance, food, healthcare, utilities, toiletries, clothes, etc. I don't know why you can't work, but if you can go to school to learn something that will allow you to work I would recommend that! Even if it's only one class a semester!
Thanks everybody. I am almost definitely moving out now, though to where I don't have a clue. She has now proceeded to physically attack me, more than once, and I just need to get the heck out of here.
Other posters: Katie has posted that her mother is repeatedly attacking her physically. Despite her pity for her dysfunctional mother, this is not an acceptable situation.
Katie: Please take what you can and go to a shelter for abused people as soon as you can. Of if you can't get there on your own, go to a safe place and make a call and see if they can provide transportation.
If you can't locate such a place, go to the Salvation Army or other homeless shelter. Once there, call your grandmother. Leave the house when your mother is not around, if you can. Where are your father and any other siblings in this situation, btw?
That said, you may have to make nice for a day or two. Agree with your mother; apologize for any imaged transgressions - do what you can to turn the emotional heat down. Meanwhile, tell her you are going to your room "to think about it". Then start packing as discretely as you can. Use whatever large purse or tote bag or backpack you might ordinarily take somewhere. When you do leave, tell her you are going to the library to borrow a lot of books, if she asks why you have a big bag with you. You could even stick a book or two on top of the essentials below and tell her you are donating them.
Take not only your receipts but any legal records you can grab quickly. You can replace your birth certificate via the state capital of your birth state, but take your Social Security card, driver's license, any credit cards, even your library card. Take any medicines you need. If you can, take an envelope that's addressed to you and been delivered to you - this will help establish your identity and old address. Take whatever money you have, of course! Consider dressing in layers if you can't take additional clothing with you easily. Stick a change or two of socks and underwear in, along with a toothbrush and comb, etc. Fill the pockets of your coat. Dress warmly.
If your mother attacks you again before you can leave, call 911. Get out of the house and go to a neighbor's if you have to, and use their phone. Tell 911 you need help immediately. You can explain the full story later, once you're safe.
In any case, you must get out. You are in a very dangerous situation and deserve much, much better.
Best wishes to you.
Last edited by CraigCreek; 11-21-2016 at 12:56 PM..
Other posters: Katie has posted that her mother is repeatedly attacking her physically. Despite her pity for her dysfunctional mother, this is not an acceptable situation.
Katie: Please take what you can and go to a shelter for abused people as soon as you can. Of if you can't get there on your own, go to a safe place and make a call and see if they can provide transportation.
If you can't locate such a place, go to the Salvation Army or other homeless shelter. Once there, call your grandmother. Leave the house when your mother is not around, if you can. Where are your father and any other siblings in this situation, btw?
That said, you may have to make nice for a day or two. Agree with your mother; apologize for any imaged transgressions - do what you can to turn the emotional heat down. Meanwhile, tell her you are going to your room "to think about it". Then start packing as discretely as you can. Use whatever large purse or tote bag or backpack you might ordinarily take somewhere. When you do leave, tell her you are going to the library to borrow a lot of books, if she asks why you have a big bag with you. You could even stick a book or two on top of the essentials below and tell her you are donating them.
Take not only your receipts but any legal records you can grab quickly. You can replace your birth certificate via the state capital of your birth state, but take your Social Security card, driver's license, any credit cards, even your library card. Take any medicines you need. If you can, take an envelope that's addressed to you and been delivered to you - this will help establish your identity and old address. Take whatever money you have, of course! Consider dressing in layers if you can't take additional clothing with you easily. Stick a change or two of socks and underwear in, along with a toothbrush and comb, etc. Fill the pockets of your coat. Dress warmly.
If your mother attacks you again before you can leave, call 911. Get out of the house and go to a neighbor's if you have to, and use their phone. Tell 911 you need help immediately. You can explain the full story later, once you're safe.
In any case, you must get out. You are in a very dangerous situation and deserve much, much better.
Best wishes to you.
Yeah, all of this. The brother is breaking things and freaking out and the mom is physically attacking her. Time for the OP to prioritize her physical safety.
Sweetie, your mother goes after you because she can't go after your brother - she's scared of him. Get yourself out of this loony bin before you are hurt or worse.
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