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At 28 I wouldn't have called my mommy to come pick me up if I was too wasted to drive. The fact that you have that kind of relationship says that you're a tight family. Unfortunately, harsh words are part of that equation when you're close to someone. Think about how many unkind words were shared between you and your husband, yet, you've moved on to a better place. This will be with your son as well. Only next time tell him to put on some big boy panties and call Uber or a cab for a ride home. Let him be a man and solve his own problems.
He is 28 and has been independent for the past 6 years. We have always had what we thought was a very good loving relationship with him. He has always know he could come to us when there was a problem or he just needed to talk. The past 3 months have been kind of tough for him. He broke up with his five year girlfriend, but seemed to be moving on. Recently he moved in to a new apartment and said things were going really well.
All of that came to a crashing halt this past weekend. He went out drinking with a friend this past Saturday and from that point on it was a string of bad horrible decisions. I don't want to get into details but, his decisions could have killed him that night. He called us after the fact because he was stranded and needed a ride. He was pretty drunk, very combative with us and any suggestions we offered. We have always had a standing policy that if started drinking to call and we would come get him no questions asked and no lectures.
I know a lot of what happened was a result of the drinking but we are both ashamed of him for his decision to drink that night and the other bad choices that followed. I think what hurts the most was his altitude towards us. We are having a really hard time dealing with the son we saw that night. Of course he says it was a one time thing and it's never going to happen again. We are so thankful that we didn't lose him that night but, we can't stop thinking what happens the next time he drinks. We are mad as hell but, we are scared ****less. I don't see how we will ever trust his judgement again or have the same respect that we had for him. We are at a loss as to where we go from here.
You're a drama queen.
You're not dealing with a situation where he called you from the police station and hit 5 parked cars, or worse injured or killed someone.
You're not dealing with a son who has 2 kids out of wedlock with two different woman.
You're not dealing with a son who lives in you basement, sleeps till noon, and plays with his smartphone all day and can't seem to find the motivation to go look for a job.
You're not dealing with a suicide attempt.
His mistake was calling you, instead of Uber.
He's an adult, the days of calling mommy and daddy for a ride should have ended after college.
It's funny how all of you assume it's "Mommy" being the drama queen here!
OP, I read some of your previous posts and I really think that you should get some help with your depression and anxiety. I think that is really affecting you and causing an unhealthy dependence on your son. Being empty nesters can be difficult especially if you centered your entire life around raising your child (believe me I know....my son is 31 and daughter is 24). Try and develop some new hobbies, get outside and smell the fresh air and in the meantime please give your son some breathing room for his sake and your own.
I think using the word "ashamed" in regard to your son is far more damaging than his behavior. Shaming is so damaging and manipulative.
It certainly is. You would have thought he committed a strong arm robbery the way she is carrying on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NRaleigh Mom
It's funny how all of you assume it's "Mommy" being the drama queen here!
OP, I read some of your previous posts and I really think that you should get some help with your depression and anxiety. I think that is really affecting you and causing an unhealthy dependence on your son. Being empty nesters can be difficult especially if you centered your entire life around raising your child (believe me I know....my son is 31 and daughter is 24). Try and develop some new hobbies, get outside and smell the fresh air and in the meantime please give your son some breathing room for his sake and your own.
I wish you all the best!
Maybe she needs to go visit or better yet volunteer at her local children's hospital. People like her never seem grateful for what they have. Ironically at a time of year when we give thanks.
I highly doubt this is the first time her 28 year old son went out and got loaded, his mistake was not calling an Uber driver instead of her.
It certainly is. You would have thought he committed a strong arm robbery the way she is carrying on.
Maybe she needs to go visit or better yet volunteer at her local children's hospital. People like her never seem grateful for what they have. Ironically at a time of year when we give thanks.
I highly doubt this is the first time her 28 year old son went out and got loaded, his mistake was not calling an Uber driver instead of her.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin
Well than HE should go visit the local children's hospital.
Honestly, I know a couple whose 28 year old son committed suicide. Would he like to change places?
HE is still a drama queen!
I know 28 year olds who are still serving time for their bad night of decisions. The OP got off easy if this is her son's worst transgression.
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