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What on earth are you talking about? They're two couples who both relocated from the same state to a new state, so they're kind of in the same boat.
The OP didn't ask them to go on a week long camping trip, they were invited over for dinner.
If they found it "off putting" than you simply so "no thank you". What you don't do is accept, say you will bring a dish, than not contact the people who invited when you didn't want to be bothered.
An odd day that I agree completely with Seain!
But I do!
There is nothing in the OP that suggests something deeper going on. The guests they invited seem to be just plain flakes and rude. Would love an update.
So, we just relocated to a new state a few months ago, and prepared to spend Thanksgiving away from family/friends for the first time. We know this couple who also relocated not long ago, from the same state we relocated from. They came to visit us once before, since their relocation, and we hung out and had a good time. We invited them to have Thanksgiving dinner with us, a couple weeks ago and they accepted the invitation. We confirmed with them this week, and they said they were coming, and would bring a dish. This morning, I sent a text message, asking what time they'd make it, and that we'd be having dinner around 4 pm. 2 hrs later, a reply comes saying they would let us know. Then, silence, until my husband calls around 3.30pm to find out what their status is. Vmail and silence until 5.30pm, then he gets a reply saying they just finished cooking themselves and were about to eat at home, and probably won't want to go anywhere after that"...
They are new to town, and we had a first hangout that seemed to be going well with some common interests, but this left a sour taste in our mouth, since we bought extra food and spent all day cooking, expecting them to come...We feel if we accept someone's invitation, we couldn't pull something like that, and let them hang high and dry without our conscience bothering us.
What do you think, is there a chance for a solid frendship there?
No. These people either have problems or they are flakes. What they did was not nice.
I don't think you need to lower yourself to their level, and blast them or anything. And, you should be civil when you see them again. But don't extend invitations to them either. And don't ever trust them to do what they agree to.
They're not only totally unreliable, they're also ingrates. You were extending friendship and generosity and they were rude. Worse than people who accept an invitation to an expensive wedding reception and then are no-shows. Look elsewhere for friends.
So, we just relocated to a new state a few months ago, and prepared to spend Thanksgiving away from family/friends for the first time. We know this couple who also relocated not long ago, from the same state we relocated from. They came to visit us once before, since their relocation, and we hung out and had a good time. We invited them to have Thanksgiving dinner with us, a couple weeks ago and they accepted the invitation. We confirmed with them this week, and they said they were coming, and would bring a dish. This morning, I sent a text message, asking what time they'd make it, and that we'd be having dinner around 4 pm. 2 hrs later, a reply comes saying they would let us know. Then, silence, until my husband calls around 3.30pm to find out what their status is. Vmail and silence until 5.30pm, then he gets a reply saying they just finished cooking themselves and were about to eat at home, and probably won't want to go anywhere after that"...
They are new to town, and we had a first hangout that seemed to be going well with some common interests, but this left a sour taste in our mouth, since we bought extra food and spent all day cooking, expecting them to come...We feel if we accept someone's invitation, we couldn't pull something like that, and let them hang high and dry without our conscience bothering us.
What do you think, is there a chance for a solid frendship there?
No, they had that chance and frankly they blew it. Ignore then from this day forward..or better yet, they want YOU to come, BLOW THEM OFF ALSO!!
Are they are young couple? My guess would be they had a fight over something and one of them refused to come. Stupid and rude, but certainly not an indictment of you. I certainly wouldn't make the next overture, but I also wouldn't turn down another attempt to get together if they offered.
I see I'm not the only one thinking a fight was the cause..
Yes, they are a young couple in their mid 20s actually. We did think maybe they had a fight, or 1 of them didn't want to come. But seriously, we had been cooking and planning for them to come the whole day, reaching out to them to make sure they were coming. I felt at least they could have let us know about not coming before we went through all the trouble...
No excuse for this kind of behavior. Not the type of people I'd want in my life...
Adding - I just thought of something - Me thinks they gave you a hint that they don't want your friendship. I suggest you take it. This situation was way beyond rude.
I feel that way too...I believe in reading the signs before falling into the ditch!
Yes, they are a young couple in their mid 20s actually. We did think maybe they had a fight, or 1 of them didn't want to come. But seriously, we had been cooking and planning for them to come the whole day, reaching out to them to make sure they were coming. I felt at least they could have let us know about not coming before we went through all the trouble...
It really doesn't matter about their age or what might be the reason. They didn't have the common decency to let you know they weren't coming, until your husband contacted them.
Bottom line they had no intention of coming, they were cooking their own food when your husband contacted. Just them saying that shows how clueless and rude they are. If they changed their mind about coming, you call up and use the "not feeling well" card.
Screw them. I wouldn't bother again and if you live in an small enough area where you may run into them I would say hello and keep walking.
You will find other couples to befriend, ones who have some manners.
I feel that texting in particular causes people to treat relationships much more casually than they would back when plans had to be made in person or on the phone. I know that makes me sound old (I'm a gen-x-er)... but its just my impression. Its so easy to blow people off via text (or ghosting).
Regardless, these people were very rude. If I were in your shoes I would just hang back and wait to see if they make an effort to reach out to you. Then you can decide from there if you want to accept their invite. I'll bet money that you never hear from them again though.
KittenSparkles (love your screenname!) I totally agree. I felt that was really class less, I couldn't do that to someone. We are in our 30s, but I must be old fashioned myself then, because I also believe that phone calls or face to face communication is better for relationships to thrive. I'm guilty on relying on texting too much myself. With text messages, you lose the emotion/inflection in one's voice when communicating. Although, my hubby did confirm they were coming with a phone call days before. Thanksgiving day around 3.30pm, he also gave them a phone call, countered by a text message saying, "Can I call you later ?"
OP, you're in a new state, find new friends in your new state who have some class and manners. They do exist.
Just because these two dolts are from your home state doesn't mean you have anything else in common.
Going by what you wrote and how you extended yourself, and got this treatment, you don't.
Following your advice
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