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By posting a topic on a message board I am interfering? Lol
To further demonstrate that you are a bad reader who makes baseless assertions, here is the last paragraph with annotations to help you out.
At the end of the day, it's not my place to do anything (this is where I say it's not my place.. In fact, my parents don't even listen to my advice regarding the situation, so I've stopped chiming in. I guess this is more of a way for me to vent. The fighting is absolutely insane and super intense, and it makes the 9-5 work life (along with studying to get into school) a nightmare (this is where I say work and study. I may live at home, but I do not "live off my parents." If I was living off my parents, I'd do what my sister did and get them to buy me a condo, a car, and pay my bills. Instead, I live at home and work my ass off.. I really want to avoid moving out because I need the money for school, and am leaving in August regardless. I just wish everyone would get along, or at least make serious attempts to fix their problems rather than repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
Here's what I would do. I would work more hours, study harder at the library, get a second job and stay away from all the toxicity.
If you aren't there to listen, you aren't hearing. And when they try to drag you into this, "I'm so sorry this is happening." Really all you need to say, and it's true, and from the heart. Sometimes people just need to be heard. And a hug.
I agree, your sister sounds like she has depression issues, and needs to see a doctor.
You have my full sympathy, OP but like others, I think you should stay out of it all for now.
May I suggest you buy a large box of industrial foam earplugs for when the shouting gets to you. Otherwise do your best to ignore it all and stay on course with your studies, work, etc. till you can move out.
Sorry you have to deal with this though. Your parents do sound as though they are enabling your sister and she is also manipulating them but there is not much you can do about it.
Thank you for the post. I am definitely going to continue staying out of it, as I am aware it's not my place to give advice, nor would it even be received well. It's been a tough environment to study in after work, but as others have pointed out, it's only temporary. I was particularly upset and fed up yesterday, as you can tell.
Libraries are great places to study. If the community library doesn't stay open late, check out the local CC or university library. Even if you are not a student you may be able to purchase or scam a wifi connection. I used to pack both lunch and dinner in a small cooler so I didn't have to go home after work. I could study until the library closed at 10, then head home to sleep.
Talking about it at this point is unlikely to do anything since this is such a "hot button" issue and conversations probably just go round and round on an escalating loop.
You've gotten some good ideas how to survive until you move.
One thing you might do is write a brief letter (about a page). Tell your parents what you appreciate them for (e.g. "You've given us the best opportunities you can ......") Tell them this has been hard for everybody and you know how very hard this must be for them as parents who want the best for their kids. Convey that they deserve to have help in dealing with this really difficult situation. Suggest that they see a counselor just to get some assistance/guidance for themselves. A counselor might recommend a parents of adult children with health/mental health issues group. Tell your parents you understand if they're not ready to do this right now but that there's no shame in needing guidance in dealing with such a tough situation . Let them know you're concerned about the toll this is taking on them and that this is the one thing you can think of that they might try to reduce the stress they're dealing with. Tell them that as you're preparing to be out on your own that you want the best for them and for the family as a whole including your sister; that there may be constructive ideas that your family hasn't thought of.
They may not react positively to the letter and might even be irritated or angry. But I will bet they will read it over again a number of times,even if they never mention it again. And if it does nothing in terms of their actions, you gave it a really decent, caring try. And they will know it.
Thanks for the caring advice everyone! I feel like an idiot for not thinking about using a public library to study haha, so I will definitely start doing that; it will certainly make life a lot easier.
Thanks for the caring advice everyone! I feel like an idiot for not thinking about using a public library to study haha, so I will definitely start doing that; it will certainly make life a lot easier.
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