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Location: In a rural place where people can't bother me ;)
516 posts, read 429,152 times
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Id like to also add this. The shoe thing is more of a boundary than anything else. My wife and I have set boundaries within our home and we do not allow them to be crossed. I guess its a lifestyle choice. We take GREAT pride in our home. But I will say, next spring we are dropping a humungous chunk of change on Pergo click laminate flooring throughout our home. The shoe rule will be a thing of the past soon enough.
Replying to OP, you just have to endure it. Moms say this stuff that all the time. My mom does that too. It's annoying and nothing more. It's not hurtful at all. I know you already said you can't not invite her, but even if you could, why would you? These are minor things and at most, annoying, not hurtful, and not worth possibly straining your relationship with her.
I have a very good friend who used to always give "advice." She would preface it with "you should..." or "you need to...", even "tell your husband he needs to..." I don't think that it ever occurred to her that I might have had a good reason to do things the way I do them, it just wasn't acceptable because that was not how she would do it. She eventually got over herself and doesn't do it much anymore.
Now, the shoe question- I feel that if you are having guests that it is your obligation to make them feel comfortable. If you are that worried that someone will get your rug dirty, or get a stain on your white couch, perhaps you shouldn't invite people over. Just my opinion.
My sister had a no shoes rule but I ignored it. She had a carpet with stains all over it and her kids did what they wanted. Why would she ask me to remove my shoes and not her kids? I told her I don't go for selective rules like that. I ignored it..She apparently got the idea from one of her friends and her spoiled kids wouldn't listen to her....
I love this post and especially this part: "Why would she ask me to remove my shoes and not her kids? told her I don't go for selective rules like that."
You don't know where a person has been sitting so maybe they should take off their pants. They touched your door knob after who knows how many others have so they better not touch anything.
9 times out of 10 with the people we visit or come to visit us, remove their shoes at the door. I have washable slippers that I offer them if they haven't brought their own. The bottom of your shoes might look clean, but the streets that you walk on are filthy with dog poop, spit, gum, and whatever else.
If an older person comes to visit (my FIL), I say nothing if they walk right in.
I wear slippers or strictly for house shoes in our own house. When I go to someone's house to visit, I always bring my slippers in a shoe bag that I tuck into my purse while I'm there. My feet get cold unless the weather is hot, so it's just nicer to have something of my own to put on.
As for unwanted criticism about my house, I just nod, say thanks for the idea and that's it. I just forget it unless it IS a good idea lol.
IMO, don't sweat the small stuff. Getting riled up over other people's opinions or ideas aren't worth it.
I have a very good friend who used to always give "advice." She would preface it with "you should..." or "you need to...", even "tell your husband he needs to..." I don't think that it ever occurred to her that I might have had a good reason to do things the way I do them, it just wasn't acceptable because that was not how she would do it. She eventually got over herself and doesn't do it much anymore.
Now, the shoe question- I feel that if you are having guests that it is your obligation to make them feel comfortable. If you are that worried that someone will get your rug dirty, or get a stain on your white couch, perhaps you shouldn't invite people over. Just my opinion.
I member the movie "Help support your local Sheriff" with James Garner.
In 1 scene he was walking down the street and a "busy-body" woman came up to him and was about to tell him what to do and she said, "It is none of my business but" when he cut her off before she could say anything else with, " That's good, I like people who mind their own business" and walked away.
9 times out of 10 with the people we visit or come to visit us, remove their shoes at the door. I have washable slippers that I offer them if they haven't brought their own. The bottom of your shoes might look clean, but the streets that you walk on are filthy with dog poop, spit, gum, and whatever else.
If an older person comes to visit (my FIL), I say nothing if they walk right in.
I wear slippers or strictly for house shoes in our own house. When I go to someone's house to visit, I always bring my slippers in a shoe bag that I tuck into my purse while I'm there. My feet get cold unless the weather is hot, so it's just nicer to have something of my own to put on.
As for unwanted criticism about my house, I just nod, say thanks for the idea and that's it. I just forget it unless it IS a good idea lol.
IMO, don't sweat the small stuff. Getting riled up over other people's opinions or ideas aren't worth it.
"IMO, don't sweat the small stuff."
You tell us what you do and then say "IMO, don't sweat the small stuff."
And I'm with you on the no shoes in the house. I grew up that way, so that's what I am used to. Our floors are beautiful finished wood buffed by our socks for generations. The carpets are clean. It is wonderful to walk barefoot in your own home and not have your feet turn black.
And why people can even imagine that in snow-y winter that it's ok to walk into someone's house with snow boots and spread dirty wet water all over is beyond me. Those people did not grow up doing enough cleaning/chores, and don't have respect for other people's things and time.
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