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Personally, if someone said they were going to visit a new place during Christmas, I'd probably just tell them I hope they enjoy their trip. There's lots of people who don't go visit relatives during the holidays, so I can't understand why anyone would even question why! For many people, those family gatherings can be stressful, depressing and really not worth it. So I think everyone can decide for themselves if they want to do it or not.
I would say "not going to make it out this year." No more no less, that should shut them up.
I agree with this. I haven't been "home" in almost 40 years. Keep it brief, "less is more" in this case and doesn't engage the person to ask questions. Just answer and change the subject or walk away.
I'm a woman. I don't know why people on here have this bad habit of assuming every poster is a man.
We can't see you, and your screen name gives no hint as to your gender. In cases where someone's gender is unknown, it is standard practice to use the male pronoun. At least, it is here in America. Maybe European practice is different. I'm sure no offense was intended.
By the way, your screen name and your location information both point to your being located in Philadelphia. But by your various responses on this and other threads, I believe that you actually live in a European city. Are you going to get upset if people assume that you live in the City of Brotherly Love?
This Christmas period has been rather unusual to me for various reasons.
The main reason being that last February, I decided to distance myself from my family due to their toxicity (I won't dive into this issue any further as I've already talked about on here to great lengths and I do not wish to reiterate this subject).
As a result, when people ask me 'Do you ever visit your family/go 'home' (I don't consider that place to be 'home' at all)? I tell them 'No, I'd rather travel to some place I've never been'. Then, I get this look and they try to get deeper: 'Really? Why?'. Why? Because it's none of your business!
This Christmas has been draining as I have been judged to extreme lengths by my co-workers who replied the following when I said I'm not visiting my family for Christmas:
- My dad said he would disown me if I didn't show up at Christmas. He said you can be anywhere in the world, but you have to be at home for Christmas (I got this story twice).
- Your parents should at least do a dinner. This is supposed to be a family time (Guess what dude? They don't celebrate Christmas, so they can do as they wish and their religious beliefs are none of your business).
- This is strange. I wouldn't be able to do such thing.
I'm tired of people's judgment on my personal life. First of all, I don't like people bringing my parents up because it's a sensitive topic which I don't wish to talk about. Second, they don't celebrate Christmas, but this is no one's business, but theirs. I shouldn't justify their choices to anyone. Thirdly, if I'm telling them I'm not going, I have my reasons, they should understand it's private!
The look of shock I get from people at work about this matter has been annoying me. I understand their need to enquire, but there comes a point where if a person tells you they won't visit their family, you should leave it at that and change topics.
Obviously, I'm going to disclose family matters with strangers at work. I don't understand why people can't mind their own damn business and assume everyone celebrates Christmas! They're so ignorant or act like it at times.
How to them down politely?
I know exactly what you mean. I had to listen to it my entire working life. Another reason I like being retired.
Sometimes I would say: "When I was young they always told me 'When you're 18 you're out of the house.' I'm over 18 so I'm out of the house."
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