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Usually, the married couple goes to the WIFE'S parents'/family's home for holidays. Of you married couples, do you go to a certain home more often OR do you try to split it up as often as possible, OR do you do your own thing most of the time?
NOW, what if you can't stand your spouse's family w/ a passion? Do you grin & bare it 1-2 times a yr for various holidays or do you just about refuse to go there?
When parents were still alive, we NEVER went to my parents for a holiday. Too many fights and too much screaming. Dysfunctional is NOT fun.
Thanksgiving was just us with invited friends.
Christmas was just us at our house and drive to the Great Lakes area to visit his family after Christmas and return home after New Years.
I spent exactly two Christmas Eve's with John and his family. The first Christmas they were on their best behavior. The second Christmas Eve drove me to leave him and his family for three days in favor of spending it with friends instead. We were newly married and I had to seriously think about if I wanted to continue on with him and his wack job family. There was an ultimatum and he chose me over his family.
We never looked back, nor spent another holiday with them. We are much happier at home alone or with friends.
Usually, the married couple goes to the WIFE'S parents'/family's home for holidays. Of you married couples, do you go to a certain home more often OR do you try to split it up as often as possible, OR do you do your own thing most of the time?
NOW, what if you can't stand your spouse's family w/ a passion? Do you grin & bare it 1-2 times a yr for various holidays or do you just about refuse to go there?
With everyone I know (aunt, uncles, friends, cousins, etc) this is still very true. Women run the social calendar and by default will favor their own family. Husbands are more detached and don't want to upset wife so they will go with the flow. It is also popular today to put self first and forget family obligations so you will often hear of women saying how their inlaws are "toxic" which is why they don't want to spend time with them. But they forget that is still their husband's family and they should show him some respect with at least tolerating his relatives.
Well, my brother in law's girlfriend refuses to do holidays with our family, it's hers only. Once in a blue moon they, or just he, will come late for dessert.
My mom hosted Thanksgiving for years and the aunts, uncles & cousins from both sides always came. Christmas Eve was with my mom's family, Christmas day with my dads. Now we just do immediate family with my siblings and parents. My husband's family, which is small, will either join us along with my family, or we do a different day with them (due to their going to their other sides homes).
We all live within 45 minutes of each other so I go to both most of the time. I spend more time with my parents in general. But holiday time is equally divided.
Both of our families are within a 30 minute drive of our house so we visit both for the holidays, usually several times each. I'd rather be around his family than my own. I feel too much pressure to pick up the broken pieces at my parent's house. I've been thinking about moving far away lately but I'm not sure my fiance would be on board.
So for this past Thanksgiving, my fiance' & I did our own thing together & stayed home & relaxed & for this past Christmas (just a couple days ago), he did go to his mom's house where his siblings were, for just a few hrs & I was w/ my mom & came on home where he joined me after a while.
I just can't imagine seeing his siblings' idiotic, classless, smug, narcissistic faces every single year for the rest of my life & I know they don't give a squat about me either. So far, none of his siblings are probably going to be invited to our wedding...not that they'll be crying about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab
We go to my MIL's. I can't stand it, but I do it for my husband and my kids. Like you said OP, it's only a few times a year!
On Christmas day my mother comes to our home.
Well, I'd think you should be able to sit it out 1/2 of the time since you can't stand it & your husband knows that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy
I spent exactly two Christmas Eve's with John and his family. The first Christmas they were on their best behavior. The second Christmas Eve drove me to leave him and his family for three days in favor of spending it with friends instead. We were newly married and I had to seriously think about if I wanted to continue on with him and his wack job family. There was an ultimatum and he chose me over his family.
We never looked back, nor spent another holiday with them. We are much happier at home alone or with friends.
Usually, the married couple goes to the WIFE'S parents'/family's home for holidays. Of you married couples, do you go to a certain home more often OR do you try to split it up as often as possible, OR do you do your own thing most of the time?
NOW, what if you can't stand your spouse's family w/ a passion? Do you grin & bare it 1-2 times a yr for various holidays or do you just about refuse to go there?
If you marry your spouse, you married his or her family. So suck it up. Go with a decent attitude.
I mean, my in-laws are no picnic. They never leave the house, they have Fox News on continuously, and they ***** about money all the time. But we spend a couple of holidays with them a year and try to have a good time when we're there.
But to answer your question, my family is pretty much in town, while my wife's family is scattered around this part of the country. So we typically go do both families on Christmas while alternating on Thanksgiving. That being said, we gave Christmas a miss with MrsCPG's family this year and I am frankly relieved.
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