Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am not leasing I am paying a mortgage on a house to own. I have lived here three years but now I feel like maybe I should go back to renting a one bedroom apartment since I am not with my ex fiance anymore.
I know how hard it is to put your foot down without being unfeeling, but once someone has managed to take advantage of you they are counting on the sense that you won't carry through. FWIW, this information might just might help you get the backbone to lever them out. Tell them exactly what you told us above and that you find the house too expensive. Tell them you will be moving by such and so date (OK, lie about it) and they need to be out. So what if they find out later you fibbed? Not much too lose anyway.
In the meantime, your "friend" is thinking "How can I avoid paying any rent and who cares if it costs me my friendship".
Give them 30 day written notice to move out. Also give them a 30 day written notice that rent will be $500 a month, starting in 30 days and a written reminder that they owe you rent for the past two months.
People who live like leeches are accustomed to having the gravy train stop running. They will try to guilt you into continuing to provide for them and if that doesn't work, they will try to threaten you into providing for them, and if that doesn't work, they will move on to another victim.
The lesson here is that people who are fun to go drink a beer with are not necessarily good people to get into a business arrangement with. The two situations require different criteria.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JAMS14
This is a good answer. Get something in writing, and make her and her mom sign it. That gives you a legal leg to stand on should you end up having to take action to get them out.
*Disclaimer -- I am not a lawyer, but this is what my research found*
Right now you have an oral agreement (lease) with your friend and a month to month lease. If you do the above, and she somehow pays the back rent, she will have the right to continue to live there.
Since you have agreed to let your tenant (she really is no friend) stay at your house for $400 / month, you have established an oral contract for a month to month lease for her to live in your private house.
On the top of page 11 it says, "Remember that in Florida, if you [the tenant] live in a private dwelling, under an oral lease or a written lease without a specific duration, your landlord can terminate your tenancy for any reason, using the above required notices, as long as it is not discrimination or retaliatory eviction. Your landlord can evict you "just because" and you cannot defend such an eviction by saying that you have no other place to live or that you have no money to move, or you have young children, etc."
Assuming you are expecting rent on the 1st of January, you are too late to evict them before the end of the year. Give them their 15 day notice (as required on page 10) telling them their lease is not being renewed. A non-renewed lease is easier than an eviction.
So last month my friend was going through a rough spot with a foreclosure and needed a place to stay. I thought this would be a great idea (former coworker) we hanged out a lot and had a good time. I told her all she would have to pay is 400 a month everything included. Well then her mom didn't have a place to go so she asked if her mom could move in also just temporarily. Well her mom is still here and the most I have gotten out of the two is 200. They moved in the beginning of November and now It is about to be a new year.
My bills have only increased and I have gotten no help. She says she spends all day looking for a job but its been two months and still nothing. Last week I have texted her how I feel like i'm being taken advantage of and how by now she should have helped me in some way. She somehow managed to change the conversation around and made me feel like I was being the bad guy. She is always changing the temperature on the thermostat even though i told her to stop doing that. My water bill has doubled. I have so much bills to pay I am just so stressed out.
My question is how do I go about collecting the money that I am owed from her without ruining the friendship. Lately she and her mom just stay in their room. I admit I have not been as friendly to them but my patience is running short. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I also can't afford to take care of two grown adults.
You have made a terrible mistake.
Your heart was in the right place, but the lesson in this is that people who get into these jams typically do so for a reason that has nothing to do with bad luck. And the fact that she is making you feel bad for actually asking for her to live up to her promises is ominous.
She is not a friend. She is a manipulative user and you are her victim. She will suck you dry if you allow it.
My suggestion? Go back to her and say that you need her money -- as per your agreement -- because you're shouldering the expense for three people, not one. When she starts to make you feel bad, hold your ground, because that's just a tactic on her part. Simply say, 'I will not let you blame me for expecting you to live up to your word.' And if she fights with you, simply tell her its time to move. If she refuses, then consult an attorney. pronto.
Here's the lesson in all this: Be awfully selective with your choice of friends. For the word 'friend' has become debased currency, where people claim even the slightest acquaintance as friends. While it's okay to have a lot of acquaintances, some of them close. But the true bedrock of a friendship is mutual trust, not their entertainment value. And trust doesn't exist in this situation.
I have several friends for whom I would do anything, including letting them crash at my house for extended periods if the need arose. But even in those situations, there has been a certain understanding that a) they would be conscientious guests and b) would see it strictly as a short-term arrangement.
Look at it this way. You've just learned the truth about someone who you thought was your friend. And you've learned that she's not the kind of person you'd really want to be friends with at all.
Yes it is the same one. I guess I just have a big heart and like to give people the benefit of the doubt. They were going through a foreclosure I couldn't just let them live on the streets. But now my bills are mounting and still nothing from them aside from the 200 dollars and their offer to give me some food from their food stamps but I declined. I am just very stressed is all.
Good rule of thumb. People who have an endless litany of things that happen to them are, without exception, people who have created that situation, either through acts of commission or omission. People who keep having problems with romantic partners, jobs, and creditors time after time are people who lack judgement or just don't care. They blame luck and nothing is ever their fault.
They keep losing jobs? Well, after a couple of times, it's not because of luck. It's because they are bad workers or cause trouble on the job.
They keep having relationship problems? Again, it's not bad luck. It's because they are terrible judges of character, they get involved too quickly, or they do incredibly stupid things. There's one poster on here who loves to blame her troubles in love on bad luck, even though she had two consecutive seven-year relationships that never went anywhere. You'd think she would have learned the first time.
They keep having credit problems? Because they spend more than they make, blow their money on things they don't need (By the way, your 'friend' devotes a lot of money to going out and partying), or just don't pay their damned bills.
Nope. Bad luck is limited to major illness, accidents, and acts of God. Have cancer? I'll move heaven and earth to help you. A tornado hit your house? Come live with us in our spare bedroom until you recover. But everything else is because that person had terrible judgment or sheer stupidity. Everything else? It's on them.
So while your compassion is admirable, it's important to look at those situations with clear vision. When you kick this woman out of your house, she'll add you to her list of woes as she hits up her next victim.
I am a female. Thank you all for the help. I have tomorrow off so I will tell her what you guys told me. I am going to write down some key points so I can stay focus and not buckle under pressure. Yeah It was my mistake I should have went with my gut instinct since we had a sorta fall out earlier this year. I decided after this I will just live a lone for a while till i can get my head clear and non be stressing all the time. I am very disappointed she is not my friend as I don't have any friends but I can't continue to allow myself to be used. It is all just too much. I am becoming someone I am not. I went off on her yesterday because we went down to the beach for dinner and drinks and found out she didn't bring her wallet with her. I had to foot the bill once again so I was angry. Oh well just wish me luck for tomorrow. I think I might print out the link you sent me as reference so she doesn't think I am making things up.
I went off on her yesterday because we went down to the beach for dinner and drinks and found out she didn't bring her wallet with her. I had to foot the bill once again so I was angry.
You should be angry! She is playing you. Do not put yourself in anymore situations where she can take advantage of you like this.
I would have given the waiter my card and said that I was paying for MY portion of the bill, and left her to figure out what to do about the rest.
*Disclaimer -- I am not a lawyer, but this is what my research found*
Right now you have an oral agreement (lease) with your friend and a month to month lease. If you do the above, and she somehow pays the back rent, she will have the right to continue to live there.
Since you have agreed to let your tenant (she really is no friend) stay at your house for $400 / month, you have established an oral contract for a month to month lease for her to live in your private house.
On the top of page 11 it says, "Remember that in Florida, if you [the tenant] live in a private dwelling, under an oral lease or a written lease without a specific duration, your landlord can terminate your tenancy for any reason, using the above required notices, as long as it is not discrimination or retaliatory eviction. Your landlord can evict you "just because" and you cannot defend such an eviction by saying that you have no other place to live or that you have no money to move, or you have young children, etc."
Assuming you are expecting rent on the 1st of January, you are too late to evict them before the end of the year. Give them their 15 day notice (as required on page 10) telling them their lease is not being renewed. A non-renewed lease is easier than an eviction.
I KNEW there was an easier way out of this and I am not even the OP . I agree with this here 100% ^^ . Let them know you will call the sheriff if they do not go at that time . People like this usually avoid the cops like the plague . Even discussing it might cause them to hit the road early .
I KNEW there was an easier way out of this and I am not even the OP . I agree with this here 100% ^^ . Let them know you will call the sheriff if they do not go at that time . People like this usually avoid the cops like the plague . Even discussing it might cause them to hit the road early .
Yes, but do it with an escape route. Deliver the ultimatum, get in the car, and leave. Oh, and make sure your valuables and any potential identity is secure. Because these are borderline grifters, and they are potentially dangerous, you know.
Good luck OP, I had a very similar situation with an alcoholic friend who needed a place to stay. It turned out okay in the end, but it wasn't easy to kick him out and there was a lot of sacrifice on my part as I was being taken advantage of. I know pretty much exactly what you're going through.
If you need another story to help you stay strong in the face of getting these people out of your house, here is another one:
My bf has a neighbor that owned his owned home. Past tense. This is really important to the story. Anyway, this guy had rented rooms to a few people to try to get help paying the mortgage. One was a gf, one was her mother, and two guys. None of them paid one penny to stay there. He and the gf got in an argument one day, and in an act of revenge, the mother called his employer and got him fired from a job where he was making $900 per week. So now the guy was relying on trying to sell stuff on eBay to stay afloat while these burnouts were living in his house rent-free. There was enough suspicious activity in that house to attract the attention of local law enforcement. The gf was stealing money from him. Anyhow, they ran up his utilities, the water got shut off, and the guy is getting kicked out of his own home. Now, mind you, this guy himself had to be making some other poor decisions of his own if he was getting removed from his own house after 18 years. Like people said upthread, foreclosure doesn't happen overnight. He was offered some sort of cash deal - $5000 - to have the house completely vacated and cleaned up by a certain date. One of the "tenants" refused to leave and locked himself in his room, saying that he "knows his rights" and that whatever mess this guy got himself into was not his problem. He said that he could stay there for 90 days before he had to leave, even though the actual homeowner had to get out. Nice, huh? Eventually my bf's friend had to go and give this guy $500 to get him out of his life. So now this guy is out of a home that he has owned for 18 years.
I have another friend that was trying to get someone out of his home for TWO YEARS. Finally he had to get a lawyer and serve her a formal eviction notice to get her out.
I totally get wanting to help people. I have been there and I have learned the hard way. What I have also learned is, that if you are not careful with whom you associate, being a homeowner can attract deadbeats and losers like flies to a turd. There seems to be a resentment among these types of people that you have something that they do not. And they feel entitled to it. They never want to take responsibility for their own actions, and expect you to "fix" it. They have no qualms about letting you suffer while they sit pretty and do whatever it is that they please. And, trust me, if these people don't know anything else, they KNOW THEIR RIGHTS! These people know that you cannot just kick them out without going through a formal procedure. They will ride it out on your coattails as long as they can. You really need to find out YOUR rights as a homeowner and start eviction proceedings ASAP. You have probably gathered from these posts that the law is not on our side exactly, and you would be right. If at all possible, get a lawyer. In my experience the cops are absolutely useless in a situation like this.
Going forward, under no circumstances do you let ANYONE stay in your home without some sort of formal rental agreement IN WRITING. A true friend would understand this and even expect it. If you see someone who is down and out and giving you a hard-luck story, if you really want to help, give them resources for Alcoholics Anonymous or the address of a local homeless shelter. If they don't accept that sort of help, then to heck with them. They are looking to be enabled, not to be helped. And you do not need to be that enabler.
Keep us posted and let us know what happens.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
