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So last month my friend was going through a rough spot with a foreclosure and needed a place to stay. I thought this would be a great idea (former coworker) we hanged out a lot and had a good time. I told her all she would have to pay is 400 a month everything included. Well then her mom didn't have a place to go so she asked if her mom could move in also just temporarily. Well her mom is still here and the most I have gotten out of the two is 200. They moved in the beginning of November and now It is about to be a new year.
My bills have only increased and I have gotten no help. She says she spends all day looking for a job but its been two months and still nothing. Last week I have texted her how I feel like i'm being taken advantage of and how by now she should have helped me in some way. She somehow managed to change the conversation around and made me feel like I was being the bad guy. She is always changing the temperature on the thermostat even though i told her to stop doing that. My water bill has doubled. I have so much bills to pay I am just so stressed out.
My question is how do I go about collecting the money that I am owed from her without ruining the friendship. Lately she and her mom just stay in their room. I admit I have not been as friendly to them but my patience is running short. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I also can't afford to take care of two grown adults.
Evidently your pal is already putting a spin on things while she isn't pulling her (or her mother's) weight. More common than you might think, the guilty like to make their victims FEEL guilty.
So last month my friend was going through a rough spot with a foreclosure and needed a place to stay. I thought this would be a great idea (former coworker) we hanged out a lot and had a good time. I told her all she would have to pay is 400 a month everything included. Well then her mom didn't have a place to go so she asked if her mom could move in also just temporarily. Well her mom is still here and the most I have gotten out of the two is 200. They moved in the beginning of November and now It is about to be a new year.
My bills have only increased and I have gotten no help. She says she spends all day looking for a job but its been two months and still nothing. Last week I have texted her how I feel like i'm being taken advantage of and how by now she should have helped me in some way. She somehow managed to change the conversation around and made me feel like I was being the bad guy. She is always changing the temperature on the thermostat even though i told her to stop doing that. My water bill has doubled. I have so much bills to pay I am just so stressed out.
My question is how do I go about collecting the money that I am owed from her without ruining the friendship. Lately she and her mom just stay in their room. I admit I have not been as friendly to them but my patience is running short. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I also can't afford to take care of two grown adults.
Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that your friend is as concerned about ruining the friendship as you are.
You are going to have to give them a firm pay up or move out date. The longer you wait, you may be putting yourself in the position of having to go through legally evicting them.
Is this the same alcoholic co-worker you had problems with setting boundaries before? Whether it is or another person, obviously there are problems you face in setting boundaries.
My question is how do I go about collecting the money that I am owed from her without ruining the friendship. Lately she and her mom just stay in their room. I admit I have not been as friendly to them but my patience is running short. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I also can't afford to take care of two grown adults.
News flash, OP: She's already ruined the friendship. This is not a friend. Unless neither she nor the mom had any rent money in the first place. When you gave them your terms: $400/month, did you first verify that had sufficient funds for that?
It's too bad, but it hasn't worked out. Do they have anyplace to go? Relatives?
She is the one ruining the friendship--not you. She's taking advantage of you. Time to kick them out and consider it a lesson learned.
Exactly.
I think you are asking the impossible. You can either collect the money *or* retain the friendship, not both.
I think that you are not going to see a dime from them. Concentrate on getting them out ASAP. (check the laws in your state to ensure that they aren't considered tenants at this point)
I agree with Shira_K. You may have a bigger problem than you know. At this point, it may be impossible for you to get them out unless you go through an eviction process. You better find out how much time you have. Typically, if someone has been living in your house for 30 days or more, you can't just toss them out. You actually have to go to court and get an eviction notice. And don't turn off the power and water and move out yourself. Then you have squatters in your house and they may keep you out indefinitely.
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