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I'm sorry to her about what has happened to those poor children. For many years, I've always been one death away from the same situation, and always had some concern for my own health for that reason.
Your mother will/should be utterly ashamed that she went so far as to cash out these policies, while taking high end vacations. If you feel like shaming her, then broach the subject, there is always the off chance that she put the money into another vehicle for your benefit. If it were me, I think I would ask her what the money has been used for, and likely have your suspicious validated.
She doesn't appear to be a very interested grandmother. I don't get that mentality, but to each their own I guess.
No she's not very active in my daughters life. She once told me, about 6 months ago, that she has been giving most of her attention to her other grandchildren and that she's going to be more involved in my daughters life. What an empty promise that was! Since that time she said that, she has come by maybe once.
But you really ought to have your own policy and a much bigger safety net if you have wife and kids now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas
Get your own life insurance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228
Yes, you need to up your own life insurance.
Ok, first question that comes to my mind is....was this actually life insurance or a burial policy? Because $10,000 is fine for a burial policy....around here, anyway. The OP never said "life" insurance that I can see.
Hi Ruth, thanks for the reply. I think I'm going to hold off, just for a little while, until after the holidays. Unfortunately though, today my brother is going back home (lives in different city), so I won't get a chance to talk to our mom together. However, as I have had more time to think about it, I'm not sure confronting her would do any good, what's done is done and I have known for awhile now that my mom doesn't and never has had her children's best interests in mind.
To me, I would say something to my mother together. If for no other reason than to let her know that you know anf you brothers are together. What is unsaid is she tries a trick like this with you and yours again, it will not end well for her.
OP very sorry to hear about this happening just around the HOlidays,I know it hurts to find out you have a selfish mother or any loved one for that matter. I can relate sort of because my grandma(according to my father) left me and my siblings over 200k a piece when she passed 13 years ago. Problem was that my evil fake Aunt is the beneficiary of the will and has not probated it nor does she have to and retired at the age of 40 and is living off my grandparents estate, no one in my family has the courage to confront her so it goes on and on..the resentment that is.lol I try to think that if she can live with herself doing that and going against her mothers wishes she has a special place in the hereafter. Try to focus on the positive things in life, believe me it's a struggle when you are struggling and could really use the money.
Ok, first question that comes to my mind is....was this actually life insurance or a burial policy? Because $10,000 is fine for a burial policy....around here, anyway. The OP never said "life" insurance that I can see.
I'm not actually sure what kind of policy it was. It could be a burial policy.
From what my grandfather told me yesterday, him and my grandmother cashed out both insurance policies and sent checks that had our names on it, but somehow my mom managed to cash them. Roughy $9500 to be exact. How she cashed those checks? I may never know.
Honestly, it's not that hard. On the back of the check where one signs, she could've forge your signature and endorse the check to her. It's called Special Endorsement.
The only way you will see the money now is by involving the authorities, which I'm guessing is not an option you are willing to entertain.
Your mother clearly felt she was more entitled to the money than you, right or wrong (and if it was only in the last few years and she was doing well financially then it is wrong IMO).
Now that your grandfather knows you never got the money, it may be up to him to confront her. He is in a better position to do so, as her elder and the one who entrusted her with the checks, but his declining health would have me wondering whether it was worth bothering him with it.
I don't think it's worth letting it eat you up inside. You're not going to get it back. But at least now you know that your mother cannot be trusted with money, no matter who it is intended for.
The only way you will see the money now is by involving the authorities, which I'm guessing is not an option you are willing to entertain.
Your mother clearly felt she was more entitled to the money than you, right or wrong (and if it was only in the last few years and she was doing well financially then it is wrong IMO).
Now that your grandfather knows you never got the money, it may be up to him to confront her. He is in a better position to do so, as her elder and the one who entrusted her with the checks, but his declining health would have me wondering whether it was worth bothering him with it.
I don't think it's worth letting it eat you up inside. You're not going to get it back. But at least now you know that your mother cannot be trusted with money, no matter who it is intended for.
I just don't see my grandfather taking the issue up with my mom. Like you said, his health is declining and he's got too much on his mind as it is. As for my mom and her finances. Her and her husband are pretty well off. Her husband is a retired doctor and my mom is a registered nurse. And 4/5 years ago her husband wasn't yet retired and he alone pulled in well over $100,000 a year.
I think the saddest story I ever heard was from my husband. He was drafted and sent to Vietnam. Every month he would get his tiny pay, keep $20 and send the rest home to his mother to put in savings for when he returned.
Instead of putting the cash into savings, she gave it to my husband's leech of a younger brother for living expenses. He was like 22 years old.
When my husband returned from Vietnam, he asked his mom for the money she was supposed to save She admitted she had given it to his brother. "We didn't think you would survive" was her reasoning.
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