Politely handling a discussion with elder sibling.
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When he came to US he was living on his own in a diff state, but I have been paying his phone bill since last 3 years. He moved in with me for 2 months when he lost his job, wasn't paying any of my bills and during then I was fine him not paying me anything because he didn't had a job. His plan was to share an apt if he finds a job in the place where I live, but he got job in diff state and he has moved out. I have asked him to set up an auto transfer to my account for the phone bill every month which he hasn't yet. So for this reason as well I might just separate out his phone line and tell him to manage his own phone account now.
My family is quite liberal when it comes to getting married. We were always been told that it's upto us if we want to get married, when and with whom we want to. They just taught us to find a spouse with good qualities. He keeps on saying that all of his friends are married and have kids and he is the only one who doesn't. We have tried explaining him that there is nothing wrong about staying single or getting married late if he wants too. We are hoping that with such thoughts, he doesn't ruin his career.
I meant more of a subconscious pressure, that he may feel as if he is letting you down or not keeping up, even though you are telling him it's not a big deal. It can also be hard to adjust when all your friends are no longer available as much because they have families now and you don't.
Leave your brother alone to live his own life anyway he wants to. A life without marriage, children, family is valid and honorable just the same.
I left my family behind in the hometown because I did not want the constant pressure of them meddling in my private affairs, offering unsolicited advice, pointing out what they think is wrong with me, and trying to run my life. Perhaps this is the same for your brother.
When he came to US he was living on his own in a diff state, but I have been paying his phone bill since last 3 years. He moved in with me for 2 months when he lost his job, wasn't paying any of my bills and during then I was fine him not paying me anything because he didn't had a job. His plan was to share an apt if he finds a job in the place where I live, but he got job in diff state and he has moved out. I have asked him to set up an auto transfer to my account for the phone bill every month which he hasn't yet. So for this reason as well I might just separate out his phone line and tell him to manage his own phone account now.
This is a good idea, and the only thing you should be discussing with him, unless he asks you for advice. The rest is non of your business.
I'm in the minority here yet my advisal carries some experience.
It is commendable that your family cares. So few members do about their siblings. He sounds like his "bouncing" around is discontentment. Broach him with kind concern. My Brothers ( I have 5) , tended to keep the peace til they saw I was headed down an unhealthy path. One called to "wake me up" so to speak. I was glad he cared enough to address the circumstances in a non judgmental way.
I would suggest asking him What he wants in the way of family concern, or if he feels he is cutting ties as away to be "independent". If so, then let him be.
He's an adult. It's his life. Butt out! His wanting or needing to be married is NONE of your concern. Why on earth are adults sharing a cell phone plan?
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