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Mothers will be Mothers... we can be a pain in the a** but we are always here for you. Enjoy your life!
Quote:
Originally Posted by nwman2830
I wonder what if it will be a guy since i am more oriented toward men.
Maybe you will meet a nice Polish guy My husband and I---both our parents are from a little Country in Eastern Europe and it has made our life easier because of that common interest. We made three sons to continue the heritage--if they continue it fine, it not, that is fine too. We did our part
From what I know of the Polish community in Chicago, they are VERY close-knit so I'm not surprised your mother is always asking. At some point this becomes completely your own business. You don't need to antagonize or upset her just say they're nice people, or whatever and change the subject as best you can. She wants to be sure you're meeting "good" people and certainly if there is a Polish community it would be a good thing to seek it out in terms of finding Polish food, and other connections that could be helpful in terms of housing, leads for jobs, etc. Just take it as a mother's advice and leave it at that.
repeatedly if you met your countrymen in a new country or state you moved to?
I am originally from Poland and live in California. Everytime my mother calls asks me whenever I went to meet people somewhere if I met Poles.
Part of thing I am struggling with is full assimilation as American, because I did not start learning English until I immigrated to the US and was almost adult so I retained thick Polish accent in English conversations. Even when I say my name, they ask me how to pronounce despite saying a simple name in English form. Whenever I get jobs, I noticed from my research I am only able to get ones step down of my knowledge and skills at lower pay despite having full legal status.
I am trying to adapt and fit in as best as I can, meet new people and don't care if somebody is Russian, Polish, etc, but do want to meet as much as possible those who speak English fluently.
I kinda get angry, every time when my mother asks if I met Poles. I did not emigrate with her to America to just stick with Polish like her. I explained to her once I am trying to assimilate and meet no matter what origin and still get asked those questions. Poland might be my country of origin but America is my new homeland.
This is really about self respect/worth and self esteem. Many of our parents exert a powerful effect upon our sense of self worth and can easily SHAME us with such questions and judgments so the best and perhaps only solution is to raise or improve one's self esteem/respect/worth/value/dignity any way possible to counter balance or fend off the pressures others, especially parents, can and will put upon their kids, employees, friends, spouses, etc.
Once you have high, healthy, SOLID self respect, nobody can shame or pull you down anymore and you begin to live a FREE & HAPPY life with courage and dignity. You can even go on with a Polish "accent" and be just as happy as everyone with no accent (LOL, everyone has an "accent"!).
Good luck improving your self worth,
jim
I also read often times Polish people avoid too closely associating with other Polish abroad because of jealousy or competition. For example I reqd complaints as soon as somebody moved up in the ladder and got a nice house or car they were getting stabbed in the back by refusal to maintain contact or rumors. I am pretty sure it is not limited to Polish diaspora, but wanted it to throw it out there.
Again, this is about SHAME and bad self esteem/respect which will cause anyone to be: jealous, competitive, embarrassed, timid, angry, a back stabber, stand-offish, fearful and many other negatives all because the negative person suffers with BAD SELF ESTEEM and low self worth or toxic SHAME.
There are cures for that if someone want to fix their damaged attitudes.
google: self esteem or self respect.
She wants a daughter in law, not a son in law. She wants them to be polish.
That isn't too much to ask.
So you would marry a person you're not attracted to just to please your mother? It is a lot to ask!
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My husband and I---both our parents are from a little Country in Eastern Europe and it has made our life easier because of that common interest. We made three sons to continue the heritage--if they continue it fine, it not, that is fine too. We did our part 
