Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
To avoid a certain group in our family, I plan a week long vacation to the mountains complete with cabin rental. I let my hubby know where we're going for Thanksgiving with just enough time for him to take the time off from work. People complain, but F them I say! I was treated like complete CRAP by those AHOLES one year....ONCE. Never again! I like the mountains...quite....no freaking AHOLE relatives being BUTTHEADS! I'd rather spend my Thanksgiving with a den full of black bears than those people. The hospitality would also be a significant improvement. What black bear would say no to my homemade apple crisp?
I had a crappy holiday also. I've had a headache since thanksgiving, I had an endoscopy on the 23rd, the financial aid office emailed and threatened to withdraw the eldest from college if we didn't submit some paperwork ASAP. The washer broke, the teenagers argued with each other, my mother came for a week and brought a cold virus with her. I had to wait thru the holiday to find out I didn't get a job I interviewed for. I bought presents for myself, and I'm getting deeper into debt by the minute. I'm still single.
And not once were we visited by the Dishwasher Fairy.
If I don't get a promotion this year, next year we're driving to Key West for Christmas to sleep on the beach with the homeless.
How do I decompress from the holidays? I try to maintain very low expectations of my self. I plan to accomplish NOTHING this month. I make no resolutions. That way, if I accomplish anything good, it is a pleasant surprise. Today I washed the mountain of pots and pans in the sink, and took all the cardboard boxes from Amazon to the recycling center. That was about it. Felt good. Disregarded all the other crap that needs doing.
Last edited by Stagemomma; 01-04-2017 at 07:52 PM..
My kids are only young once, and grand parents don't live forever. I'm willing to put up with some discomfort so my kids can spend Christmas with their grand parents. It's not about me. It's about them.
Why is it so hard to just tell the truth with kindness? Having a houseful of people for days on end is tiring and stressful for the entire family. Tell them you want to make different plans for next year and ask for their suggestions. Do not agree with any of these suggestions unless they work well for you.
I totally agree. Having company stay, even people you enjoy being with is exhausting and stressful.
That's all you have to say OP and it's the truth. Has anyone ever suggested that they not stay with you? I'm wondering if your husband is telling them it's fine or insisting they stay there. For all you know, they may not even want to stay with you but feel obligated to do so.
I think it's time to have a chat with hubby too and tell him you can't handle having them stay with you. You don't have to go into the 'why's'.. just that it's too much, and too stressful having extra people in your home.
As for me, as much as I love my son's wife and get along fine with her. I wouldn't want to spend days at their home. Just knowing that I was interrupting their normal routine would stress me out. I'm sure it would stress my DIL just as much.
I totally agree. Having company stay, even people you enjoy being with is exhausting and stressful.
That's all you have to say OP and it's the truth. Has anyone ever suggested that they not stay with you? I'm wondering if your husband is telling them it's fine or insisting they stay there. For all you know, they may not even want to stay with you but feel obligated to do so. I think it's time to have a chat with hubby too and tell him you can't handle having them stay with you. You don't have to go into the 'why's'.. just that it's too much, and too stressful having extra people in your home.
As for me, as much as I love my son's wife and get along fine with her. I wouldn't want to spend days at their home. Just knowing that I was interrupting their normal routine would stress me out. I'm sure it would stress my DIL just as much.
That happened to my co-worker. Hubby told his parents that his wife really wanted them to stay with them at their home (without discussing it with her). His parents really wanted to stay in a hotel but did not want to insult their DIL. The wife absolutely hated having her in-laws stay there but thought that her husband really wanted them there.
What a mess! It took a huge, huge angry blow-up before everyone was honest with everyone else. Now the in-laws stay at a hotel and are happy. And the wife & husband are happy, too.
I guess this is more of a rant than anything else, but does anyone else hate the holidays because it means relatives come to visit? I just spent over a week with a house full of in-laws, and it was a nightmare of stress. I can't stand my MIL especially. All of them can easily afford hotels, but instead they have to stay with us and are never happy with anything (the temperature, the beds, the linens, the shower, and so on), and my MIL criticizes me constantly and offers a never-ending stream of unsolicited advice. After a week of "vacation," I need a vacation!
Say No. Tell your spouse that next Holiday season you are not hosting.....someone else can host.
Google motherinlawstories (.) com. Not just mothers or fathers in law. All kinds of inlaw troubles. Some of it is really horrifying, and if I didn't know how crappy some people could be I'd think it was b.s.
Does your spouse back you up? If not you have more of a spouse problem than inlaw, and I would send them a list of hotels the next time they want to decamp to your home. No is a complete sentence. Don't apologize and don't explain because it gives them the opportunity to argue.
Inlaw: we want to stay at your house
You: that won't be possible
They won't stay at a hotel because they've been allowed to steamroll over your wants. Get your spouse on board and nip this disrespect and stress in the bud.
Oh, and every time someone says something rude or critical to you, whether on the phone or in person, go with silence. It's very uncomfortable for them. Alternately, "did you mean to say that out loud"? Silence is best, then segue into a comment about the weather. Keep doing that and don't JADE ever.
Or, if you do get suckered into next Christmas....Rent yourself a nice spa type hotel for the week, and tell them you'll show up for Christmas Dinner to call you when it is ready.
Well why don't you speak up and make everyone stay in hotels then? I LOVE the holidays.It's suppose to be enjoyed and relish but when people make your life miserable and you DON"T speak up about it...well it just keeps going on and on and on.It's NOT the holidays that makes you miserable...it's the people you keep choosing to spend it with EACH year! Speak up and stand your ground.That type of behavior is rude and unacceptable....say somthing!
When I was in my 30's, my MIL and BIL stayed w/ us for about 2 weeks. It was more me thinking they "should" stay w/ us. Well, that cured it. I just didn't do it again after that. You have to take care of yourself.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
