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southbel, maybe I'm missing something but why can't you just say to your parents, "Sorry mom and dad but you are not allowed to stay here next year."
For God's sake, change the locks.
Yes, going to happen. At this juncture, I want to get them out before starting major drama and giving them any reason whatsoever to stay longer. The locks will be changed once they leave but I just didn't have time to do so before they arrived as we were only living in this house two weeks at that juncture. I was still taking furniture deliveries, unpacking, and painting.
ETA: I did say the same this year because we had just moved in but after many, many repeated calls, I caved. Lesson learned and now I won't no matter how many phone calls, etc I must endure (hello call screening).
It is sometimes tough because I get no support whatsoever from family (extended, sibling, etc) who think I'm the unreasonable one because I think staying for months is too much. Clearly my family is filled to capacity with nutty folks I guess. So this thread is good because it does completely validate what both my husband and I believe - this crap ain't normal!
I find it interesting that your family refers to you as the emotional one whenever you don't go along with the program.
I find it interesting that your family refers to you as the emotional one whenever you don't go along with the program.
In our family, being "emotional" is considered very, very bad. It's really a veiled insult. Their way of showing anger, etc when I don't go along with them.
You do understand that:
1. They are legal tenants in your house, you cannot just kick them out after 30 days. It's illegal.
2. You may lose the inheritance (tons of money).
No amount of money is worth putting up with being bullied. The OP is doing well enough on her own, she doesn't need any inheritance. At least she'll have her dignity.
No amount of money is worth putting up with being bullied. The OP is doing well enough on her own, she doesn't need any inheritance. At least she'll have her dignity.
I don't really get an inheritance anyway so moot point. The trust is set up in such a way that I'll see very, very little of it and of that, I'll have to get third party permission to spend any of it. As far as I'm concerned, it's a non-entity in my relationship with my parents. I've built my own life, my own business, and made my own money. Good enough for me!
I don't really get an inheritance anyway so moot point. The trust is set up in such a way that I'll see very, very little of it and of that, I'll have to get third party permission to spend any of it. As far as I'm concerned, it's a non-entity in my relationship with my parents. I've built my own life, my own business, and made my own money. Good enough for me!
You GO, girl! It's actually typical of narcissists that they'll use money or other assets or personal influence, to control so-called "loved ones" , as part of their manipulation tactics, but your parents can't hold that over you. Now all you have to do is get them off your property, and keep them off.
P.S. Someone posted that your parents may have become legal tenants in your guesthouse, with legal rights to live there. I doubt it, since no rent has been exchanged, but it wouldn't hurt to look into the tenancy laws in your state, for future reference.
In our family, being "emotional" is considered very, very bad. It's really a veiled insult. Their way of showing anger, etc when I don't go along with them.
Flip it on them every time they do it and they might stop. Interject your own "now, dad (mom), there is no reason to get all emotional about this. I said no.".
As for tenancy rights - that greatly varies state to state. Some states are very pro-landlord (like Texas) where that stuff won't fly. A guest is only a guest - no "rights".
Flip it on them every time they do it and they might stop. Interject your own "now, dad (mom), there is no reason to get all emotional about this. I said no.".
Haha, I was thinking the same thing--to turn the tables (it's such an obvious tactic), but I couldn't think of a good one-liner. Bravo!
In our family, being "emotional" is considered very, very bad. It's really a veiled insult. Their way of showing anger, etc when I don't go along with them.
Yeah, what they're actually meaning is "irrational". I get it. Glad you don't let it get to you any more.
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