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I think in one instance a tour is expected when you just bought a house and you invite friends and relatives to look at it and it's not even moved in yet, just to see what they think. One memory I have of this is not that great. I have an aunt that toured the new house and she didn't have one good thing to say, really not one good thing. She didn't complement anything, usually even if the place was a dump, you would find something nice to say, most people would. The only thing she said was finally in one room she noticed a water stain "that looks like a water stain" and that was that. In the past, she had come out and said the strangest things, really odd stuff.
Some women are very competitive and won't give compliments, especially to other women. I redid a bathroom in one house and when a competitive woman friend saw it, all she said was that it was "too industrial." ?? Guess she didn't like the brushed nickel faucets. Yet whenever we visited her, she took us all over her entire house to show us all the new very modern, expensive art glass. She expected ooh's and ahh's over each piece. It was beautiful and we complimented her, but enough already!
you do what makes you most comfortable, and to the man who walked into rooms that he wasn't invited to walk into, I'd have said something.
When I first moved into my new home, I had a neighbor knock on the door, and ask to come in and see it. Like a dummy I allowed her to...and she was the last.
she looked at me and said, wow, whose your decorater? I said me...and she said, "Well, you certainly like high end stuff", as she picked up the place mats off my dining room table and turned them over to look at the label.
Then another neighbor asked if people from her church could come and walk thru my house. I said, No, she said, why and I said, because I don't want strangers tramping thru my home, that's why.
The group probably wanted to exorcise the demons you brought into the home when you moved in
We moved this past May so everyone who comes over wants a tour. We are in a new development so even our neighbors want to see our floorplan. I don't really mind because I like showing off our home and I like to see others homes as well. Especially my neighbors since they all have new homes too and I can see how they decorated it.
But I'm still so curious: how did OP know they were mad? Did they just seem mad? Could they have been mad about something else? Even if they were disappointed that they only got a partial tour, it does seem so strange and dramatic that they were mad for the rest of the visit. OP said that she found out "later" that they were mad about the partial tour. More details are necessary to flesh this out. Did they actually leave saying, "Thanks for dinner. Would have been a better visit had we seen the bedrooms. We take this as a personal insult that we were not given the complete tour."?
Nothing wrong with people being curious as to how other people live---it's the being so entitled to see the private living quarters that they would actually say that they were mad. What kind of people couldn't get over their disappointment hours later and would harbor anger enough to bring it up?
Ya, makes me wonder as well. How did they hear about it later on? Probably friend of a friend told on them?
Either way, it all sounds like high school drama, to be "mad" over something so petty.
Some women are very competitive and won't give compliments, especially to other women. I redid a bathroom in one house and when a competitive woman friend saw it, all she said was that it was "too industrial." ?? Guess she didn't like the brushed nickel faucets. Yet whenever we visited her, she took us all over her entire house to show us all the new very modern, expensive art glass. She expected ooh's and ahh's over each piece. It was beautiful and we complimented her, but enough already!
I totally agree, some women are very competitive but then at the same time I think they must feel threatened and have very low self-esteem. I am thinking she did like your bathroom but she was envious and wouldn't let you have the satisfaction of confirmation from her that she liked it.
I always ask to use the master bath. If I'm going to take time out of my day to visit your house, I want to sit on your throne and really experience what it's like to be you. After a quick rummage through the medicine cabinet just to see what you're on, I'll rejoin the party.
Ok I'm kidding . I do enjoy a good tour of a home though, although I'd never go on one without the host offering. Especially if it's a custom built or new home.
My home is just a bit over 1000 sq feet or so with a very open floor plan, so when you come over you pretty much see the entire thing by default. I wouldn't invite you over if I felt judged by you or had something to hide.
If you visit friends' home for the first time, would you expect them to give you a tour of the entire house?
Some old friends were in town and we invited them over for dinner. We have an open floor plan, so they saw the entry hall, dining room, kitchen, powder room, and family room (no living room). The husband walked down a hall uninvited and looked into our laundry room. (The bedrooms/baths were in less than pristine condition.). We found out later that they were mad that we didn't give them a tour of the entire house.
In general - NO! And I similarly, do not want a tour of YOUR house. There are exceptions, but mostly NO.
When I am invited to someone's house and they offer me a tour - I have to take it. To say "No. That's OK. I came to visit you - not to inspect your house" - would be thought of as rude.
A tour is a boast. A captive boast. You can't get out of it. And you are forced to compliment everything that is shown to you. From a new kitchen with granite stainless and all the "bells and whistles" to the bathroom with dressing rooms, Jacuzzis, multi-spray showers, tavertine tile and a flat screen mounted to the wall - to the requisite gas fireplaces topped with wall mounted flat screen TVs.
There is no way out of this.
And, I do not get it.
I have a nice, semi-open floor plan that is typical of a 1920s craftsman home. When I invite guests to my home, it is to the first floor. We have anything any guests would need. A Formal living room, EIKitchen, Formal dining room, sun room, and large family room that connects to the kitchen.
We also have a guest bath. As we see it, there is no reason to give a "grand tour". Our bedrooms are private and the upstairs baths are for people who live here.
This is personal space. Private.
Guests may wander on the patio, deck or screened in porch. I have no idea why upstairs would be of interest. Or my garage. Or my basement. Or my laundry room.
I think home is sacred space. Not everyone gets to have a tour.
depends. it's only polite. you'renot under any obligation to show them around everywhere.
I don't. We have a downstairs powder room/guest bath. Unless they have been invited st spend the night, no one visits to shower and dress in my house. Or to nap in the bedrooms.
I think giving a tour of the house was a common gesture long ago. My mother "showed people the house" all the time, as did my sister-in-law. But, then, they were at ease with their tidy homes.
I was never comfortable giving tours of mine, so I don't offer it. In fact, I do NOT like people in our bedroom, Period. It's just a quirk that I have. But my best childhood friend will be visiting in June and I certainly will give her a house tour because we've been friends for decades. Still, I will make sure it looks less lived-in than it usually does.
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. I do enjoy a good tour of a home though, although I'd never go on one without the host offering. Especially if it's a custom built or new home.
